♎ | 001

[lawesome]

[through the magic of time shenanigans It has been several hours since Redglare's arrival. Hours she spent investigating, scourging the brochure from top to bottom for every fragment of information, and even checking up on as much of the network as she reasonably could. She's even created a folder of notes on her personal palmtop dedicated to this strange, underwater prison. She is, above all, a professional after all, and it wouldn't do for a member of Alternia's Cruellest Bar to simply run around like a beheaded cluckbeast.

For now, it is time to change the focus of her investigation. Certainly there is much more to be found from investigating the place itself, but it would be a mistake to ignore the people living in it. And Redglare does not make mistakes. She has questions to ask, answers to discovered, and a network to start up, regardless of how long or short her stay may end up being.

She opts for a friendly approach. Catch more flies with honey, after all.]



OH NO! >:[!!!
1 H4V3 F4LL3N 1NTO 4N UND3RW4T3R BUBBL3 4ND 1 C4N'T G3T OUT.
WH3R3 1S TH3 CL3V3R WH1T3 B4RKB34ST TO R3SCU3 M3?
4 BR4V3 KN1GHT TO WH1SK M3 TO S4F3TY SO 1 M4Y SWOON 4MOUNTS TH4T COULD ONLY B3 D3SCR1B3D 4S TRULY OUTR4G3OUS!

H4H4H4, HON3STLY, 1 KNOW 1 D3S3RV3 4 V4C4T1ON FOR MY S3RV1C3S TO TROLLK1ND FOR 4PPR3H3ND1NG TH4T SCOUNDR3L, BUT TH1S W4S NOT WH4T 1 W4S 3XP3CT1NG.
WOULD 4NYON3 B3 W1LL1NG TO H3LP 4 L4DY OUT 4ND 4NSW3R 4 F3W QU3ST1ONS?



Oh no! >:[!!!
I have fallen into an underwater bubble and i can't get out.
Where is the clever white barkbeast to rescue me?
A brave knight to whisk me to safety so i may swoon amounts that could only be described as truly outrageous!

Hahaha, honestly, i know i deserve a vacation for my services to trollkind for apprehending that scoundrel, but this was not what i was expecting.
Would anyone be willing to help a lady out and answer a few questions?

If you want to opt out of me using her text, just comment here.]

Comments

[sniffdeceit]

[What's this?

That's HER quirk! Not her dancestor's. This is baffling! Karkat hadn't said anything about doubles, however, which could only mean one thing.

...IT'S AN IMPOSTOR!]

>:O!!!

W1LL TH3 R34L M1SS PYROP3 PL34S3 ST4ND UP!
L3T 1T B3 NOT3D TH4T TH3 D3F3ND4NT H4S R1S3N, YOUR HONOR
4S 1 4M 4LSO TH3 D3F3ND4NT, TH1S M34NS TH4T 1 4M UP 4ND ST4ND1NG QU1T3 BR4Z3NLY!

...and then he clues in

[thekidsare0kay]

00p2.
fuck.
0kay, which 0ne 0f y0u tw0 i2 actually terezi?

[sniffdeceit]

1'M 1NSULT3D TH4T YOU CAN'T M4K3 TH3 D1ST1NCT1ON, MR. 4PPL3B3RRY
TRU3LY 4PP4ULL3D

[thekidsare0kay]

tz, 2eri0u2ly.
y0u've been trying t0 be her f0rever.
i'm a22uming thi2 i2 y0ur ance2t0r, right?
it'd be like differentiating between vri2ka and mindfang, it'2 ba2ically imp022ible!
each i2 a bigger bitch than the 0ther.
and with y0u, each i2 a bigger...
20mething.
law-0b2e22ed p2ych0??
yeah.
n0 0ffen2e, y0u kn0w we're br02, right?
welc0me t0 vathe0n.

[sniffdeceit]

TH3R3 1S 4 V3RY D1ST1NCT D1FF3R3NC3 B3TW33N OUR QU1RKS
V3RY D1ST1NCT
HUG3!

[Apparently, Redglare uses periods.]

BUT 1 C4N FORG1V3 YOU TH1S ONC3, 4S YOUR B1-COLOR3D SH4DES M1GHT POP TH3 WORDS OUT SO F4R TH4T 1T'S 34SY TO M1SS

[thekidsare0kay]

keep dreaming.
but whatever, let'2 talk ab0ut 20mething el2e.
i didn't kn0w y0u were here!
fuck, i'm a c0mplete 2hit2tain 0n the underwear 0f 20ciety.
h0w l0ng have y0u been here?

[sniffdeceit]

TH4T'S B3C4US3 1 M4D3 NO FORM4L 4NNOUNC3M3NT OF MY 4RR1V4L
K33P1NG YOU 4LL ON YOUR TO3S! >:]
H3H3H3 DON'T WORRY
1 H4V3N'T B33N H3R3 TOO LONG

[thekidsare0kay]

well, n0w i d0n't feel 20 bad.
when did y0u c0me fr0m, then?

[lawesome]

TH3 L3V3L OF 1NSULT 1S DOUBL3D.
4S 4R3 TH3 V3RY G3NU1N3 4PP4LL3D F33L1NGS!

[thekidsare0kay]

h00fbea2t2hit!

[lawesome]

OBJ3CT1ON!
4 TRU3 L3G1SL4C3R4TOR N3V3R L13S!

[thekidsare0kay]

g0d, y0u're b0th 2uch nerd2.

[lawesome]

OBJ3CT1ON!
TH3 ST4T3M3NT ‘W1LL TH3 R34L M1SS PYROP3 PL34S3 ST4ND UP’ 1S PURPOS3LY V4GU3 4ND M1SL34D1NG!
TH3 PROS3CUT1ON R3QU3STS TH3 ST4T3M3NT B3 STR1CK3N FROM COURT R3CORDS.
TH3 COURT 4GR33S W1TH TH3 1MPOSS1BlY B34UT1FUL PROS3CUTOR.
TH3 ST4T3M3NT H4S B33N STR1CK3N FROM R3CORD, TH3 D3F3ND4NT 1S R3QU3ST3D TO P4RK H3R GLUT3S ON H3R CH41R ONC3 MOR3.
YOUR HONOR, TH3 PROS3CUT1ON W1SH3S TO C4LL 4TT3NT1ON TO TH3 FOLLOW1NG CONUNDRUM.
"HOW DO W3 D3F1N3 R34L?"
(TH3 CROWD 1S GO1NG W1LD, OOOOH, 44444H, 3T-C3T3R4, 3T-C3T3R4.)

[sniffdeceit]

[...Oh, she's good.]

R34L: 3X1ST1NG OR OCCURR1NG 4S F4CT; 4CTU4L R4TH3R TH4N 1M4G1N4RY, 1D34L, OR F1CT1T1OUS
4S TH3 COURT C4N CL34RLY S33, TH3 T3RM DO3S 1ND33D H4V3 4 L1T3R4L D3F1N1T1ON
TH3 PROS3CUT1ON S33KS TO T4K3 4 PURPOS3FULLY V4GU3 4ND M1Sl34D1NG ST4T3M3NT 4ND COUNT3R W1TH 4N 3QU4LLY V4GU3 4ND M1SL34D1NG R3BUTT4L
TH3 D3F3NS3 4LSO OBJ3CTS ON TH3 GROUNDS TH4T TH3 PROS3CUT1ON SOUGHT TO PL4C3 WORDS D1R3CTLY 1NTO TH3 MOUTHS OF TH3 AUD13NC3 4ND JURORS THROUGH 4 GROSS D1SPL4Y OF GODMODD1NG
SH4M3FUL!

[lawesome]

TH3 PROS3CUT1ON W1LL CONC3D3 TO 4 C4S3 OF GODMODD1NG, BUT 4RGU3S TH4T 1T W4S R34LLY COOL.
TH3 PROS3CUT1ON W1LL HOW3V3R OBJ3CT TO TH3 US3 OF SUCH VULG4R PHR4S1NG 1N TH3 COURTROOM!
D3F3NC3! HOW TH3 WORD S1CK3NS. >:[
TH3 PROS3CUT1ON R3QU3STS 4 SHORT R3C3SS SO 4LL W1GGL3RS 4ND THOS3 W34K OF H34RT M4Y L34V3 TH3 COURTROOM B3FOR3 TH3Y 4R3 BROUGHT TO N4US34, VOM1T1NG 4ND POSS1BL3 D34TH.

WH1L3 TH3 MOTH3RGRUB F34R1NG CROWD CL34RS TH3 COURTROOM, TH3 PROS3CUT1ON W1SH3S TO 4SK TH3 D3F3ND4NT:
4R3 TH3 TH1NGS W3 1M4G1N3 NOT R34L?
TH3Y 4R3 4S MUCH 4 P4RT OF US 4S OUR HORNS.
STRONG3R ST1LL!
YOU C4N 34S1LY BR34K 4 HORN W1TH TH3 4PPL1C4T1ON OF SUFF1C13NT FORC3, BUT TO BR34K ON3’S 1M4G1N4T1ON...
TH3 PROS3CUT1ON SHUDD3RS TO TH1NK OF WH4T T3RR1BL3 4CTS N33D B3 1NFL1CT3D ON 4 TROLL TO G3T TO TH4T PO1NT!
(HURRY, PR3C1OUS W1GGL3RS! HURRY! TH1S PL4C3 1S NOT S4F3 FOR YOU!)

BUT 1F W3 T4K3 ON3 OF TH3 D3F3ND4NT’S N4RROW D3F1N1T1ONS OF R34L1TY:
TH4T 1S TO S4Y TH4T TO B3 R34L M34NS TO B3 M4D3 OF FL3SH 4ND BLOOD 4ND ORG4NS.
4ND C4P4BL3 OF B31NG M4D3 TO SP1LL TH3M R1GHT 1N FRONT OF TH1S V3RY COURT!
TH3N TH3 PROS3CUT1ON MUST R1S3 S4Y1NG
1'M M1SS PYROP3, Y3S 1'M TH3 R34L M1SS PYROP3
4LL YOU OTH3R M1SS PYROP3S 4R3 JUST 1M1T4T1NG!
>:]

[sniffdeceit]

D3F3NS3 1S 4 T3RM US3D 1N HUM4N COURTS
1 T3MPOR4R1LY 4PPROPR14T3D 1T FOR TH1S SP3C14L OCCAS1ON
4ND 1 TH1NK P3RH4PS YOU WOULD F1ND TH4T 1TS V3RY US3 SUPPORTS 4 V4ST UND3RST4ND1NG OF TH3 1M4G1N4RY!
HOW3V3R, 1 W1LL 4PPL4UD YOU 1N YOUR 4TT3MPT TO SH4M3 M3 OUT OF MY PR3V1OUS 4RGU3M3NT

TH3R3 1S ONLY ON3 W4Y TO TRU3LY SOLV3 TH1S F14SCO, OF COURS3
4ND TH4T 1S W1TH 4 V1SU4L D1SPL4Y!

[And with that, Terezi will flip on the video. Because by this point she's super, super curious herself. Licking the screen will only get her so much, but it's better than nothing.]

[lawesome]

PROOF 4G41NST PROOF!
1 L1K3 1T.


[She has no trouble switching over, and for a few moments she is just silent to let it sink in because wow. Wow, just look at that girl. She looks nearly exactly like she did at her age. So this is her descendent huh? Wow.]

Hello Terezi.

[sniffdeceit]

[Terezi had her tongue out and ready to stick to the screen, but it's retracted instantly as she comes to the horrible realization (finally) of who this is.

She knew of the ancestors, of course, but she's suspected that her own would use a quirk like Latula's after all that time spent in the dream bubbles, not one like her own.

She suddenly wants nothing more than to melt into a puddle and seep into the floor where no one will ever see her again. Her expression probably says as much.]

[lawesome]

[Perhaps! But the mun finds uppercase is easier to read than lowercase when mixed with numbers. Also, clearly only uppercase letters can contain the awesome that is her.]

Chin up! A real Pyrope always has her chin up.

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < *the mighty purrbeast launches herself at the majestic dragons back and attaches herself there*
:33 < tereziiiii!!!
:33 < no one told me you were here!

[sniffdeceit]

*TH3 M4J3ST1C DR4GON ROLLS H4PP1LY ON TH3 GROUND W1TH H3R FR13ND WH1L3 (OF COURS3) CONT1NU1NG TO R3M41N M4J3ST1C*
1S TH4T SO?
1'M 3MB4RR4SS3D TO S4Y TH4T 1 D1DN'T M4K3 MUCH OF 4N 4NNOUNC3M3NT OV3R 1T
BUT TH1S DO3S NOT S4V3 TH3 L4ZY M3SS4G3 D3L1V3R3RS FROM 4 DRUBB1NG!

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < h33h33 i agr33 with this idea purrfectly
:33 < you can drub them and i will gnaw on their legs X33
:33 < how are you?! where have you b33n staying??

[sniffdeceit]

1'M DO1NG R4TH3R W3LL, G1V3N TH3 C1RCUMST4NC3S
JUST 1N TH3 HOT3L FOR NOW
TH3S3 HUM4N B3DS 4R3 SURPR1S1NGLY COMFORT4BL3!

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < they are!
:33 < but if you n33d somewhere nicer to stay im sure you could share a hive with one of us for a while
:33 < until you pick one for yourself

[sniffdeceit]

1 SUPPOS3 1 COULD!
THOUGH TH4T SOUNDS 4N 4WFUL LOT L1K3 1'D B3 ASK1NG FOR TROUBL3
YOU N3V3R KNOW W1TH OUR GROUP!
UNL3SS TH4T W4S YOU VOLUNT33R1NG >;]