Shing Meteoryte ( シング・メテオライト ) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
oursomalink) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
caughtinanetwork2012-08-13 12:39 pm
oursomalink) wrote in caughtinanetwork2012-08-13 12:39 pm
Entry tags:
04 -- audio
[So it's been a few days since he died, and it's given him time to think. Assess priorities. Figure out what he's going to do now that he's back.
He doesn't want Kohaku to have to suffer this kind of pain again. Not just her, too -- the hospital visits did little to help him feel better. If anything he was more or less focusing on all the pain he'd caused by his inability to protect those he'd cared about. So after some thinking it was then that he'd decided.
He would get stronger. So that this wouldn't happen again. But he couldn't face them all a third time. Not yet, anyway. Not until he was sure that he could properly protect them this time. So now he's in an undisclosed location somewhere in the area as he turns on the feed, speaking into it.]
Hey, Vatheon. I... well, after what's happened, well... I think I need to go away for a while. Think about things. I don't know when I'll be back, but... hopefully soon, I guess?
[ Private | To Kohaku ]
Hey... I'm sorry. I... I wasn't strong enough to protect you; maybe if I was, none of this would've happened? I wish I could've done more...
It's strange. You'd think I'd be more affected by getting killed, but... yeah. You already know this... seeing you and knowing the pain and fear that you felt, not being able to do anything about it... it hurt much worse than the pain of dying.
I'm sorry... I failed, both as a friend as a lover. I... I know that I don't hate you, and hopefully that you don't hate me. It's just... I feel like I lost more than my life that day. And... I hate myself for that. And a lot of other things. I... honestly don't know what I'll do for now, but... I need time. To get back what I lost. To believe that we can be happy again, to return to how things were. Otherwise... I don't know if I'll ever get past any of this.
Even after everything that's happened, though... I still love you, Kohaku... I always will. That hasn't changed as all. So... I hope that you'll wait for me. No matter how long it takes, I'll find my way back to you, Kohaku... I promise...
[ Private | To Beryl ]
Hey, Beryl... it's me. I... have so much to say right now, but... I don't know where to begin, so...
First... please don't beat yourself up over this, okay? I know... you're probably thinking if you were there, maybe things would've been different... I'm just glad you're safe. Besides, I think we all were unprepared... I wouldn't want you to share in knowing the pain of death either. I care about you too much to let you be put through the hell that Kohaku and I are going through now.
Right now, though... I don't know. Everything that's happened... it feels like I'm going to be crushed under it all. Swept away. I feel so emotionally drained that I just don't understand anything anymore. Like... I lost a part of myself that day, when Kohaku and I died... I guess I have to find it again. That belief I had when we all journeyed together long ago... that belief in happy endings.
Until I return... well, it's up to you, Beryl. Kohaku's gonna need all the support she can get, so... please take care of her, okay? Watch over her for me. I know, I'm being an idiot for this, and it's okay! I'll make it up to you. Be your personal canvas or something, whatever you want, Beryl.
Just... until then, take care of each other for me.
[ Private | To Rin ]
Rin... my brother... I'm sorry. I really am.
... I can't even think of what to say right now other than I'm a hypocrite. It's funny, in a way... here I am, telling you that nothing was your fault. And... that's true. I really do believe that, Rin. I guess... what I'm saying is that I should've been strong enough. To protect Kohaku, to prevent us from dying, to keep you from feeling the pain of losing a loved one again... it's all my fault...
You're the stronger one out of all of us, Rin. I'm the one who was weak... I'm so sorry for being so useless...
... that's why I gotta go away for a while. I need to be able to believe that things can be happy again, that we can go back to the way we were... I truly want to protect Kohaku again, to keep the both of you safe... but I can't face anyone anymore. Not like this. Knowing that I won't be able to protect anyone again if this were to happen a second time.
You probably think that that's a weak excuse, huh? I... don't blame you, it sounds pretty weak to me, too. But I trust you, Rin... please, watch over Kohaku for me. It's all I ask.
[ Private | To Asbel ]
Asbel, it's me, Shing... try not to freak out if I don't see either you or Sophie for a while, all right?
I'm taking your advice... gonna go to the Island topside. Train until I'm strong enough to protect Kohaku... to be able to rightfully return to her side. I don't know how long I'll be there for, but I'll be there if you need to talk to me about anything.
Just... do me a favor, okay? Please... keep an eye on Kohaku, Beryl and Rin in my stead. Kohaku and Beryl live with me. Yutopil Apartments. Floor one, unit three... Rin usually stops by often enough that it's a second home to him. It... shouldn't be a problem, I think. Just tell them that you know me as a good friend...
I don't know if I'll be able to face them again right now, after everything that's happened. Maybe... eventually. But until then, I want you to watch over them. Protect everyone the way I couldn't.
[ /Private ]
I know it may seem extreme, but I think it's the best for everyone... I don't regret what I've done. I truly am happy that I got to meet you all when I did, though... and I hope to see you all again soon.
Until then... goodbye...
[With a quiet sigh, he turns off the feed.]
(( OOC: Do note that Shing won't be responding to any of the comments here, so... feel free to post responses and stuff here!
And with that, I go on hiatus! See you all... hopefully at the end of the month! Or less! \o\ ))
reaction;
... not literally this time, thank goodness.
Kohaku can't do much more than just stare at this, though, tears welling up in her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. Some of them hit the SFC in her hands before she drops it onto the bed.
She won't go looking for him, out of respect for him and his wishes. Something in her knows that if he's doing this, he needs it. It doesn't stop her heart from breaking, though, and it doesn't stop the feeling of being completely alone from filling her.
Right now, all she can do is just sit there and cry. ]
reaction
Well, at least he wasn't sitting around being depressed but still! What about Kohaku? She's going to be so sad to hear this...
She does want to go look for him but if that's what he wishes, then she can't do anything. If she finds him, he'll probably go off again.
...Let's just hope this is for the best]
reaction
Disbelief was first, then heartache, but after that anger. Anger at Shing for being so damn selfish while trying to be selfless at the same time. Anger at himself for failing to see signs that were probably there. All of that nearly made him punch a hole in his wall.
He managed to control his anger enough to keep it from happening, but he remained sitting curled up on his bed for a while, staring at the far wall. He was going to punch Shing in the face first thing when he got back.
But for now... Kohaku needed to be taken care of... he wasn't just going to let that request go to waste.
Unfortunately he had work that night, so he sends Kohaku a text and Maka a text before getting his stuff together for at least a few days over at her apartment.
He's going to be there whether she wants him around or not.]