caughtinanetwork | 001

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[Good afternoon, Vatheon. Did you happen to catch a glimpse of a mysterious blur moving across rooftops? Perhaps even stopping for a few seconds, only to move on? That would've been Bro. He was out exploring, Cal slung across his shoulders like a backpack. With his speed, he finished his tour of the city in less than five minutes. Brochure aside, he just needed to know what he was dealing with. What sort of place he's in and what sort of people wander around here. The lack of feisty mermaids and singing seafood is a little disappointing. Still, he should count himself lucky he's able to walk around here at all, considering his last moments back 'home'.

Now that he's done scouting the area and more or less come to terms with the situation, he has no choice but to access the starfish network. If Dave is here... He needs to know.]

bro.

if you are here. plaza. now.

dont worry about cal. i got him.

[There's a sigh of frustration when he finishes writing. He feels like he's trying to send a text message with a Gameboy. The really old, bulky kind. This is going to take some getting used to.]

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_{[ Average day here in the plaza. Nothing interesting to see here. Bro is probably just now pecking out that message when Jake is walking by, slowly, and dragging a small palm tree behind him.

He seems to be having some difficulty, but he's determined to get this palm tree somewhere. ]}

[Bro is absorbed in tinkering with his SFC. If it weren't for the scratching noise of the tree being dragged across the ground, he probably wouldn't even have noticed Jake. But 'lo and behold, he looks up just in time.

A second of silence is followed by an ominous grin. This one is too easy. He's been very well behaved today, but he just can't pass this one up. Lil Cal is taken down from his shoulder and he takes one quick breath before moving.]

[Speedy fluid motions, all designed to keep Bro moving so fast he becomes invisible, while Cal is held perfectly still. It's the magic of illusion. Or perhaps the illusion of magic, in the eye of the beholder, as it makes a simple puppet look awfully sentient.

Bro follows after the kid, only to overtake him and move Cal right in front of his field of vision. What follows is a loud, high-pitched cackle that seems to come from Cal's mouth.]

HAA HAA HEE HEE HOO HOO!

_{[ Jake screams, heart rate accelerating tremendously. He promptly drops what he was doing and instantly bolts off in the opposite direction. He's pretty fast, definitely not as fast as Bro, but quick for somebody who cannot flash step.

He runs into the depths of the plaza and turns a corner, unsure if that thing was following him or not.

Either way, he has got pistols drawn at this point. ]}

[Priceless. Priceless. It's refreshing to pull this trick on someone who actually still gets startled by it. Dave's pokerface had gotten so strong over the past few years, trolling him with Cal almost stopped being funny. Almost.

Bro guffaws loudly as he comes to a stop and slings Cal over his shoulder again. Job well done, but now the palm tree is lying on the ground. Just to prove he's not such a bad guy, he'll pull it upright again. The kid's gonna come back for it, right?]

_{[ He peers around the corner, but takes a moment to put one pistol back in its holster and to cup his hand over his mouth to help him regulate his breathing to a somewhat normal pace. God, you can't do that to a kid with anxiety issues, Bro.

Anyway, he is watching Bro. This guy is touching his tree. His dear, sweet, precious tree. What kind of punk is this?

Jake gnashes his teeth together, ignoring the fact he just wet himself a little. This means business. Who cares if this guy looks like his ex-boyfriend best friend lover thing, he's going down.

Or something. ]}

_{[ And so, he charges at Bro, both guns out.
There's a battle cry which is really obnoxious.

He fires his guns twice in the air.
Because that's intimidating. ]}

[Oh holy shit, the kid is armed. He wasn't expecting that. Nothing he can't handle, but unexpected nonetheless.

Bro shifts his stance, heel of his left foot digging into the ground, only to move again. Flash step, he's gone. When he reappears, he's standing behind Jake and his sword is drawn.]

Go ahead, punk. Make my day.

_{[ Flash stepping.
Okay.

When Bro appears behind him, Jake looks over his shoulder, and up at Bro. God, it was uncanny. The sword, the quick movements, those stupid anime shades. Jake cannot put himself in a position to fight with his guns now that he has a better look at him.

And he keeps staring before he finally speaks hesitantly. ]}

Dirk?
Why are you an old guy?

Jimmy crickets, are you wanting me to shoot you?

[Bro's not entirely sure which is the bigger insult, here. "Dirk" or "old guy". Either way, he's double offended. Still, he lowers the sword to assume a more casual stance as he peers down at Jake. If he knows 'Dirk', chances are this dork's friends with his teen self.]

I'm guessin' you got the wrong Strider, kid.

_{[ Ok, this guy is alright. He knows the name Strider and he isn't showing any signs of slashing him to bits.
A hand tentatively reaches out and his finger curve over one of his biceps. ]}

Holy shit! Are you genuine?

_{[ Jake, what. His hand pulls back and he stands on his tiptoes, trying to look at his face better. ]}

I wasn't aware Dirk had a doppeldanger with more muscle than he has!
Are you his cousin he never told me about? I thought he was the last man on Earth, along with Roxy.

_{[ Give him a moment. It'll take him a bit to make the connection. ]}

[This situation sure is taking a turn for the 'what the fuck', here. One second the kid is trying to shoot him, the next he's feeling Bro up. Sort of. Maybe the kid's fascinated with muscle because he doesn't have any himself. Yes, that sounds legit, let's go with that.]

It's a pretty fucking long story. Let's just say that if circumstances were different, Dirk would be me. Or I'd be Dirk, I guess, but I'm the better option here. I mean, just look at me.

_{[ Jake tilts his head to a shoulder, looking Bro up and down as he shifts his weight to one hip. Sure, Jake may not have as much muscle in his arms as Dirk or Bro, but his legs were certainly impressive for his size. It's probably from running away from things so much.

Jake comes to his conclusion. ]}

I actually like Dirk better.

_{[ oh. ]}

[Ouch? ...Well, no, not really. He doesn't know Jake well enough to take that opinion to heart too much. Either way, he guesses this kid's all right, so he'll ease up a bit more.

A wide grin spreads across his face and he slams a hand down on Jake's shoulder.]

That's called a friendship bias. Bros before enigmatic strangers an' all that shit. Don't worry about me, I'll only cry myself to sleep for a couple days before I get over it.

Well, shoot. Don't cry! I'm just being honest here, mister..

_{[ Erk.. ]}

Strider? Umm...

_{[ A slow, awkward pause before he reaches up and removes Bro's hand form his shoulder, and then shakes it. ]}

Don't frighten the piss out of me again, if you would be so kind. But golly, you're certainly fast and chomping at the bit to go!
Are you into wrestling?

Wrestling? [As he pulls his hand out of Jake's reach again, he raises an eyebrow.]

I'm standing' here holding a sword and you wanna know if I'm into wrestling?

Yes, wrestling! I mean, weapons are all fine and dandy, but I'm talking about fighting like a real man, aids aside!

_{[ He puts his guns in his holsters and puts up his fists, grinning. ]}

Punching the lights outta people! Bloody noses and all of that.
Hot diggity, I cannot get enough of that!

_{[ Have a little jab on the shoulder. ]}

[The jab is highly ineffective. Bro doesn't flinch, he hardly even blinks. Not that the shades will betray that one. He does, however, crack another grin. This is the sort of kid he'd steal lunch money from when he was young.]

Good old fashioned fisticuffs, eh? Sorry kid, you wouldn't last a second against me, but if you prove yourself, I might let you fight Cal here. [He jerks a thumb over his shoulder to indicate the puppet.]

_{[ Jake lowers his hands and looks ta the puppet. Something was definitely familiar about that puppet and it unsettled him.
He scoffs, nostrils flaring as he looks up at Bro. ]}

I would tear that to smithereens.
Though it would probably do us good.

It's ugly.

[Oh no he didn't. OH NO HE DIDN'T. Nobody insults Cal. Nobody.]

[A flash step. Cal is moved off Bro's shoulder and suspended in mid-air, but only for a fraction of a second. In one fluid motion, Cal's behind Jake. One arm slings around the boy's throat and the other hand goes to the top of his head.

Noogie time! Painful Bro noogies are the worst, especially when they're being delivered by Cal. Dave can attest to that one.]

_{[ screaming.

That's really all he is doing. ]}

[Bro decides to amp up the agony just a smidge by doing his obnoxious Cal voice again. Ventriloquism while doing puppet flashstepping to torture some kid? Hell yes. In fact, let's make it a rap for good measure, so Jake knows who he's dealing with.]

HEE HEE HOO HOO HAA HAA!
STILL THINK YOU CAN TEAR ME TO SMITHEREENS?
BOY YOU TRIPPIN'!
MY SEAMS AIN'T RIPPIN'!
I'LL GIVE YOU A GOOD WHIPPIN'!
I'LL SCRAMBLE YOUR HEAD LIKE AN EGG!
YOU WANT MERCY, YOU'D BETTER BEG!

_{[ why the rapping, why.
He wants to shoot this thing, but, he's aware that Bro is the one controlling and he really doesn't want to shoot Bro somehow.

And so, he merely flails about wildly, scared to tears, and attempts to pry him off. ]}

[Congratulations Jake, you just caught a wonderful glimpse of Dave's disturbing childhood. There was a lot of this involved.

Still, Bro's confident he got his point across just fine, so he'll release Jake again and hops backwards to give the kid some room to breathe. Kids will be kids and gunslingers or not, they can be pretty frail.]

And that's why you don't mess with the Cal man.

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