[Video]

[last_lombax]

[The SFC turns on to show a strange creature some of you have seen around the network and in person. He's sitting on a chair in his apartment, looking at bit nervous. With all the confessions and everything, he knows he need to do this quick and turn the damn starfish off before he says something bad. Problem is starting, of course. He takes a deep breath and swallows that lump in his throat.]

My name is Ratchet. I'm doing that whole introducting myself thing since I haven't done that yet-

I was afraid someone from home might be here!

[He sighs and keeps going.]

Anyway. I'm looking for work. I'm fast and pretty strong. I'm good with a gun and a wrench. I'm also a quick learner-I learned how to dance like a pirate real quick!

[Another sigh.]

So nice to meet you all and whatever-I died a virgin!

[Yeah, that's Ratchet freezing as he realized just what he yelled out. He quickly slams his hand down on the SFC and turns it off.]