[Absconding to the kitchen, Sola lets out a small breath after the door closes behind him, bringing his hands to where he can see them and flex the fingers to make sure they're still there. The feeling is already fading, which offers some small comfort. The little bits of shadow stop floating over his fingers and they become more solid again, sending pins and needles as feeling to make him wince but also utter a quiet sigh of relief.
He should probably tell someone... but maybe it will go away on its own and he doesn't want people to worry. He's worried people enough already. Still, no use dwelling on it. Sola makes his way to the counter, thinking that maybe he'll make that soup he mentioned before, but just as he begins rummaging for bowls, a sheaf of paper catches his eye.
He knows he probably shouldn't read it. It's Johnny's, it's in his kitchen, it's obviously not for Sola to see, but he can't help himself as curious as he is. It takes him a little while to get through it as he's not strictly the fastest reader, but in the span of several long minutes Sola's heart feels as if in a vice and he nearly wishes for the numbness in his fingers again rather than having seen this. That pain would be easier.
I love you. I'll be waiting.
Is that why Johnny had poisoned himself up on the beach? Why he'd seemed to be waiting for the clouds to part and burn him to ashes? Being without the one you love - the one you actually love, that pain Sola also knows.
And what does that mean for them? That Johnny lied when he'd said he was happy? That he only went along with Sola's confession because the person he truly wanted to be with wasn't there...?
He can't do this. He can't be here. Suddenly all he wants to do is run away, hide somewhere until maybe he didn't have to hurt. Maybe that numbness from before would just spread everywhere. It should be that way anyway, right? He's a shadow, a replacement, he doesn't get to have these things.
He just thought he was more than that to Johnny...
Angry, upset, and ashamed at his own ability to fool himself, Sola flees from the kitchen and heads for the door, not even looking at Johnny as he rushes past in his haste to escape.
The letter he'd simply dropped, leaving it to float to the floor in the doorway of the kitchen.]
Action
He should probably tell someone... but maybe it will go away on its own and he doesn't want people to worry. He's worried people enough already. Still, no use dwelling on it. Sola makes his way to the counter, thinking that maybe he'll make that soup he mentioned before, but just as he begins rummaging for bowls, a sheaf of paper catches his eye.
He knows he probably shouldn't read it. It's Johnny's, it's in his kitchen, it's obviously not for Sola to see, but he can't help himself as curious as he is. It takes him a little while to get through it as he's not strictly the fastest reader, but in the span of several long minutes Sola's heart feels as if in a vice and he nearly wishes for the numbness in his fingers again rather than having seen this. That pain would be easier.
I love you. I'll be waiting.
Is that why Johnny had poisoned himself up on the beach? Why he'd seemed to be waiting for the clouds to part and burn him to ashes? Being without the one you love - the one you actually love, that pain Sola also knows.
And what does that mean for them? That Johnny lied when he'd said he was happy? That he only went along with Sola's confession because the person he truly wanted to be with wasn't there...?
He can't do this. He can't be here. Suddenly all he wants to do is run away, hide somewhere until maybe he didn't have to hurt. Maybe that numbness from before would just spread everywhere. It should be that way anyway, right? He's a shadow, a replacement, he doesn't get to have these things.
He just thought he was more than that to Johnny...
Angry, upset, and ashamed at his own ability to fool himself, Sola flees from the kitchen and heads for the door, not even looking at Johnny as he rushes past in his haste to escape.
The letter he'd simply dropped, leaving it to float to the floor in the doorway of the kitchen.]