veryfastdrawers (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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caughtinanetwork2012-01-02 10:53 am
veryfastdrawers) wrote in caughtinanetwork2012-01-02 10:53 am
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Congress Pushes Tory Act
To Whom It May Concern,
Change is a many-faceted thing.
For example, if someone asks, "do you have any change?", it's very likely they're not in fact asking how often you've moved around the furniture in your apartment, or if you've recently decided to get a different flavor of yogurt, most likely the oddly-smelling and somewhat questionable banana, for your breakfast, instead of the tasty and dependable strawberry. They're certainly not asking if you've changed shoes or if you've decided to try a new postage stamp, or even if you've recently brushed your teeth, after several disgusting and socially-unacceptable months of not a single ounce of dental hygiene.
No, it's very likely they're simply asking if you have any loose coins in your pocket, and it's more than likely the next question will be something along the lines of "disturbing insight on your dental hygiene aside, I was wondering if I might borrow that change?", when it's obvious they don't in fact mean to "borrow", a term which here means "take from you with the usually dashed hopes of eventually having it returned", your change, but in fact take it and use it for their own, usually nefarious, means.
However, if someone asks if you've "had any change today?", they usually don't mean "have you eaten or somehow acquired some loose coins?", unless they happen to be a rather disturbed banker, or you've both been stranded on an island with only a vast bounty of coins to keep you both alive.
Regards,
Lemony Snicket
To Whom It May Concern,
Change is a many-faceted thing.
For example, if someone asks, "do you have any change?", it's very likely they're not in fact asking how often you've moved around the furniture in your apartment, or if you've recently decided to get a different flavor of yogurt, most likely the oddly-smelling and somewhat questionable banana, for your breakfast, instead of the tasty and dependable strawberry. They're certainly not asking if you've changed shoes or if you've decided to try a new postage stamp, or even if you've recently brushed your teeth, after several disgusting and socially-unacceptable months of not a single ounce of dental hygiene.
No, it's very likely they're simply asking if you have any loose coins in your pocket, and it's more than likely the next question will be something along the lines of "disturbing insight on your dental hygiene aside, I was wondering if I might borrow that change?", when it's obvious they don't in fact mean to "borrow", a term which here means "take from you with the usually dashed hopes of eventually having it returned", your change, but in fact take it and use it for their own, usually nefarious, means.
However, if someone asks if you've "had any change today?", they usually don't mean "have you eaten or somehow acquired some loose coins?", unless they happen to be a rather disturbed banker, or you've both been stranded on an island with only a vast bounty of coins to keep you both alive.
Regards,
Lemony Snicket