caughtinanetwork

That's much better, but...

[So says a certain young man dressed in stark monochrome, dark hair interrupted by three parallel lines of white running along only one side of his head, as he regards what appears to be a colorful ball -- the sort of toy meant for felines to caper after, once catnip has been placed inside.

Residents of a certain villa may recognize their foyer.

It's looking significantly tidier, or rather like someone had artfully arranged but one side of it, and proceeded to arrange the other side in a spookily precise mirror image. Even various cat toys found scattered around the premises have been doled out to each corner of the foyer in a bilaterally symmetrical fashion.

Someone even went through the trouble of dusting and sweeping. It veritably sparkles. Death the Kid's hair is a little disheveled, in the way of one who had little choice but to let damp hair dry as it would.

Indeed, the young grim reaper had stood there in the plaza since yesterday afternoon waiting to drip-dry, unable to abide by the thought of moving around while his wet clothes insisted on sticking to him, horrifyingly askew. He has standards.]

What do I do? It's almost perfect, but I can't simply place this in one corner.

[This is sort of stressing him out.]

I'll just have to acquire another that matches this precisely! Residents of this house! Where is the nearest market?

[This, while addressing the starfish communicator held in the other hand, until the reaper's golden eyes dart a brief, distressed glance at his own creased (and still uncomfortably damp) suit.]

...No, I should first change into something suitable. But I can't just leave this unfinished!

[Ahh, he can't decide, what should he do? WHAT SHOULD HE DO??? At last, he decides to stow the catnip ball away, and black, crackling tendrils of skull-capped shadow spirits away the toy out of sight.]

First things first--where can I launder and dry my clothing? Don't delay in supplying in answer, this is essential, I'm filthy.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

You're new here, aren't you?

Usually I expect dinner before letting someone take a closer look at my body!

But perhaps we can come to a trade. A fair and even exchange of information! For every fact you tell me about your kind, I will tell you one about mine. What about it, Mr Reaper Man. Do we have an agreement?

[The kind of privileged richkid who has everything, that kind of stupid asshole.

The kind who, upon beholding another of these strange, gray-skinned 'trolls', endures the sort of internal strife that results in a confusing vacillation between mortally offended bristling and pleased intrigue.

Horns, evenly spaced, of equal size (diminutive). Pleasing.

Oh god, that hair.

Oh god, that attitude.]

That's a fine thing coming from a mannerless dog who can't figure their way around a comb!

Oh.

[He sees when he's been misunderstood! ...Not so much that he's being misunderstood intentionally. He's new to this trolling thing, be gentle.] No, I'm more interested in learning about your kind, not your body.

[Which is what makes this proposed arrangement so appealing. Of course, it goes without saying that he'll be keeping a few cards close, and expects as much of the troll.]

That sounds entirely fair. I look forward to hearing more, Redglare. What is it you'd like to know?

Yes, albeit not for the first time, I hear--

Eat a bulge, jackass. Just because my hair sticks up the way its wants doesn't mean I'm ignorant of basic hygiene. It's not tangled; it just grows that way, and I happen to like the style it's in. Besides, don't talk like you have the room for it when you're the style-impaired douchewheel with honest to god stripes in his, and that's coming from a species that thinks fashion is stupid to begin with.

But if you're so concerned on my manners, let me show you what I think of the subject.

[A raised middle finger suddenly jabs into view.]

[Oh god.]

[What.

What is that.

ON HIS HEAD.

IS ONE OF THOSE BROKEN?!]

[That is the most revolting thing he's seen all day, and it's growing out of his head!]

I've never seen something so wrong in my life! Cover your head immediately!

Displaying something so disgusting, have you no shame?!

[Coolly:] Are you perhaps allergic to seeing a barber? Or are your manners so poor no one will care for that untamed thing resting on your skull?

[They are off to the best start--]

[It's not precisely Karkat's language that chafes him.

It's not even the displayed middle finger.

But the way his deadpan expression crumbles into ever-mounting distress at that part about the Sanzu Lines in his hair leaves little guesswork as to the source of his next reaction.]

[He clutches at his hair.]

I know! These damnable lines and their stubborn lack of symmetry! I'm worthless trash, unfit to draw breath! To think that I still can't manage to achieve perfection in such a basic way--disgusting!

The humiliation! I could just die!

[Hey. Hey John. Kid leans towards him, wearing an expression of utmost scrutiny.]

Really?

[Meteoric apocalypse? Time travel? That sounds more like the "plot" of some ridiculous comic book meant for attention spans as abbreviated as Black☆Star's. It's not as if he has a reason to mistrust John, either, but he seems like a frivolous boy.

...So thinks the guy who frivolously wastes hours tidying up other people's foyers.]

That's not unexpected. That informative pamphlet mentioned something about this phenomenon.

[One of those significant beats of silence, as Kid realizes something.]

You... did read it, didn't you?

[Oh no he didn't!]

WHAT?!!

[Oh yes he did]

That! On your head! That appallingly jagged stump!

Do you want to nauseate the unsuspecting masses? Where's your sense of decency?

Hmmm.

[She thinks about the question for a moment.]

You call yourself a reaper. What exactly does that entail? In return, if you wish, I will tell you about hmm... lets see. How about one of the most basic and interesting facts about our kind: our blood colour system?

You sure look dressed for it.

Anyway, one of the shops nearby should be keeping towels for the new arrivals. Since you're soaked I'd bet money you're a new arrival.

[His ears perked up when Kid actually reacted to his question.

'You can understand me!' Good, good. 'Now can you give me back my toy? It wasn't yours to take!' Wait, he's missing something- Oh right. 'And who are you? Are you a friend of Rin's?']

Yes, really.

[IS THIS THE FACE OF A LIAR, KID? IS IT?]

Why would I lie about something like that?

[A blood color system?

The implication -- that there may be other hues -- is not lost on him. The novelty alone has caught his interest. There's no helping it; once sufficiently aroused his curiosity is insatiable.]

Of course, you're not human, so it would be a little much to expect that you know about legends surrounding the idea of the 'Grim Reaper'. Traditionally, and quite accurately depicted dressed in black and carrying an iconic harvesting scythe, said to collect the souls of the deceased. Although the legends can get a little overwrought, Lord Death's grandeur and power remain unmatched.

I am, of course, speaking of my father. A god who oversees the order of our age, responsible for the safekeeping of each soul.

[But it might be the face of a braggart!]

Nothing. Time travel is just a little fanciful, that's all.

[He raises a finger, but to preserve his personal symmetry, does so on each hand.]

Far-fetched as it may seem, your nonchalance about everything else lends you credibility.

[Naturally, Kid's gaze wanders the room the moment they enter it, and although he can already pick out a number of ways he could, ahem, improve upon its arrangement, all signs point to the fact that someone with a talent in the kitchen makes frequent use of the space.]

...That's hardly reassuring.

Aren't you worried history might merely repeat itself? We'll need to monitor Crona closely from now on.

[A moment later, and he anticlimactically adds:]

Where do these go?

[John puffs out his cheeks a little.]

He could show you himself if he were here...

[Goddammit, Strider.]

But I swear I am not lying about this. Not even pranking you or otherwise pulling your leg. There are a bnch of other people here who can back me up on this.

Nope.

[You get the bluntest answer Soul can manage.]

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