calling all grubs

[onlyasign]

[The video shows a much happier, more content Sufferer than the network has seen lately. In fact, he almost looks like Signless again. Over his shoulder, the video catches a cat-troll, one who could easily be mistaken for Disciple except for her shorter hair and blue kitty hat, sitting on a couch and cuddling something, with two kittens bounding around her. The audio catches the occasional giggle, purr, or squeak.]

Hello! It seems we're under another curse. I'm unaffected by this one, but many of my friends are not. If anyone finds someone who looks like this, please bring them to me.

[He holds up a picture of a... well, it looks like a giant, smiling maggot baby. Which is basically what it is. This is an Alternian grub, everyone.]

My assistant Nepeta and I will take charge of him or her for the week, if you aren't interested in caring for them.

[OOC: answers can come from Sufferer or Nepeta or both!]

Comments

[grandhighblood]

[Guess who looks like a jack-ass teenager!]

Or they could just motherfucking eat 'em, heh heh heh.

[onlyasign]

[There's one in every crowd.]

No eating the grubs, please.

[grandhighblood]

But they all up and look so motherfucking tasty, ripe for the plucking, yeah? Been a long time since any motherfuckers around here's gotten a taste of fresh grub.

[onlyasign]

I know who you are, you know. And I am not afraid of you, in this form or any other. If you hurt a grub, you and I will have problems. Severe ones.

[Imagine this delivered in a perfectly calm, rational voice... although Sufferer's eyes are almost glowing red under his hood.]

[grandhighblood]

Yeah, yeah, I all up and motherfucking know who the fuck you are, too. Gettin' your skivvies all in a motherfucking mutated twist, fuck!

[waves his hand idly, frowning now because signless you're soooo lame]

Ain't killing no motherfucking grubs, aight? I'm on a strict no-cullin' diet here, as much as a brother hates it.

[onlyasign]

Good. See that it stays that way.

[Pause.]

So... this is you as a young troll, I take it?

[grandhighblood]

[eyeroll] Fuck you.

And yeah, guess it motherfucking is. Takes me back something wicked awful, know what I all up and mean?

[onlyasign]

No, thank you.

[Sorry, he's not a highblood chaser.]

I imagine that's challenging, being trapped in a younger body again.

[grandhighblood]

[He scoffs.]

It ain't even a motherfucking thing. Just a little shorter and lighter than I'm all up and used to. Watch my swing, make sure not to just all up and accidentally overswing at no unfortunate motherfucker.

[onlyasign]

Mmmmhmmm.

[Sufferer studies him for a moment. The Grand Highblood is always a hard sell, but maybe he won't be in this form?]

So what is ahead of you now? What would you tell yourself if you could back in time and talk to yourself at this age?

[grandhighblood]

[Signless will probably to relieved to know that GHB is more likely to be less terrible now than he is as an adult. Sure, he still remembers all of that, but in this body, the memories of his youth and how he acted and thought back then is much stronger.]

Huh, nothing really, I guess... oh, wait, I motherfucking got it: STOP BEING A MOTHERFUCKING PANSY OF THE WATER, because ah-fucking-pparently in the future, you'll all up and be sucked into the most suffocating underwater prison of fake freedom and peace!

[onlyasign]

[ . . . . ]

You don't know how to swim?

[grandhighblood]

[Suddenly very defensive! Why did he even say that regretting everything-]

I CAN SWIM! Fuck, I just uh, don't all up and do it so motherfucking much anymore.

[onlyasign]

[Whoops, found the weakness in the Grand Highblood's armor, did he?]

There's an island above us, you know. If you wanted to practice, there's a very calm sea you could do it in.

[grandhighblood]

[Not a very well-hidden one, much to his dismay when he finally realizes how not well-hidden it was.]

Go fuck yourself, motherfucker. I ain't going in NO sea.

[onlyasign]

[Fortunately, Sufferer is not one to judge. Even when dealing with murderous juggalos.]

Why not? I learned to swim in the sea. If you stay close to shore, there's nothing that will harm you.

[grandhighblood]

Of course there ain't nothing that can harm this brother within the depths of that murky deep trap of a motherfuckin pool! It's all up the WATER you gotta watch you motherfuckin sorry ass for, you know?

[onlyasign]

Yes, I understand. Drowning isn't very much fun at all.