[Goddammit Davesprite. Why is this thing being overcomplicated so much? Bro's view on the matter is really very simple.]

Start listening! I ain't saying you're Dave, I'm saying you're my bro! 'Cause the way I see it, I've got two of 'm now. There's him and then there's you. You were once the same fucking person, so that means I raised the both of you and get all the brotherly benefits thereof. [He's still not saying parental benefits. Nope. He will never be a parent.]