caughtinanetwork | 003

[Ever since Bro arrived in Vatheon, he's been impressed by the amount of skilled techies. People are going around building robot dogs like it's no big deal and his younger alternate self was seen beating the shit out of a pretty goddamn amazing strifebot. This is the sort of thing that had always caught his interest when he was younger, even if he never made a real hobby out of it. It still catches his interest now.

So he decides to take the plunge and rekindle that old passion. It's never too late to gain more skills, especially when you know this is kinda your last chance to do so. He's got the perfect project in mind to get him started, too.]

so we got a lotta techies here right? the folks with the l33t skills and way too much free time on their hands. put down your screwdrivers and start reading.

in my world theres legend of a kickass device. born in the dark recesses of a hollywood directors mind and shaped by cheap special effects. it doesnt exist for real but boy howdy do fanboys cream their pants at the prospect of it being a thing. santa still gets like five hundred requests a year for these rad toys and he has to disappoint every single hopeful sap who asks. people have been trying to build this thing for decades but gravitys keeping them down. literally.

its called a hoverboard. not a rocketboard. not a skateboard. definitely not a surfboard. doesnt work over water anyway. its gotta hover like 10 inches above the ground.

but were not on my world anymore and i think the brilliant minds here can make a legit hoverboard. and show me how the fuck youre making the hovering work because ive got nothing.

so what say you?

[...]

p.s. if you use magic to make it hover youre disqualified. were defying laws of nature with science here so wizards need not apply.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

buying a hoverboard reeks of lazy cheater. so yeah. thats grade a bullshit worthy of disqualification.

i guess getting parts from the nostalgia nook is cool. gotta get scrap metal from somewhere right.

btw if you wanna give dash competition were gonna have to up the speed on these babies. the movie hoverboards have a speed of like two miles an hour and thats if you try real fucking hard.

Scrap metal and shit can be obtained from non-Nook sources.
Specialized tools need to be found there.
For that purpose, I'd just combine the hoverboard and the rocketboard.
But the rocketboard can't make sharp turns, unless you grab a pole, which is fucking irritating as hell.

pretty sure pole grabbing was a thing for the hoverboard too. weve gotta find a way to fix that shit. maybe a curved tail end so we can kickflip this baby in the direction we need it to go.

then again. if newbs try that theyll fall off and crack their skulls open on the concrete. this kinda move takes skill.

You could combine it with rockets to get a sharp turn.
The only real problem is keeping yourself from flying the fuck off of it first.
Kickflips would be a hella awesome turn mechanism.
And forget the noobs.
They shouldn't be put on a hoverboard in the first place until they've got fucking skateboarding down.

D --> I was working on a solar surfboard with Jim before he went home
D --> It's still in my shop if you want to see it

[They never completed the one for Equius (too heavy for the technology available), but he's willing to let Dirk check it out. Black text guy is still unknown, however.]

Hell yes I want to see it.
Remember who you're talking to, Equibro.
How far'd you get?

[Getting called bro makes Equius so happy.]

D --> Pretty far
D --> We were e%perimenting with the propulsion system when Jim went home
D --> I still can't ride it, but you might be able to

Hell yes times two combo.
Let me know when, and we can make this happen, dude.

D --> You know where my hive is
D --> We're busy cleaning up water damage these days, so come over whenever you like

Who the fuck isn't?
As long as you're sure it won't fall down on your heads or something, I'm up for it.
Though considering it's you who lives there I suppose even if that was a possibility, it wouldn't be a problem.

D --> I'd be able to hold it up if it fell on our heads

Congrats, you've understood my point.
I knew there was a reason I kept you around.
Be there soon.

D --> I'm very good at being STRONG
D --> It's kind of my thing

D --> See you soon

like sideways rockets huh. yeah. wed need straps to keep our feet on the board if the turns get that radical.

and thats fair enough. noobs can start with a skateboard. then a surfboard. then maybe a hoverboard that doesnt go up too high. tackle this with baby steps. you cant get a goddamn license to fly without putting in some hard work.

Fuck licenses.
Their licenses can be a 'congrats, you didn't die horribly riding this thing' sticker.
Sure, fuckers can prove themselves, but I refuse to become some sort of hoverboard DMV.

Edited 2013-05-13 22:37 (UTC)

nobody said wed be the ones to test these losers.

i mean. ok. itd be kinda hilarious to sit there with a clipboard and detract points for breathing too loudly. but that shit gets old after like three times.

heres what we do. we give the ones with some skater skill a hoverboard. tell them to hover responsibly. braindamage is at their own risk.

That assuming hoverboards even get mass distribution.
Hell, that'd be ridiculous.
"Welcome to Vatheon. Here's your underwater breathing tunic and your hoverboard, enjoy your stay."

i dunno. im picturing it and it doesnt look half bad. valuable asset to the community. hoverboards.

but sure. lets make it limited edition.

A valuable asset until some jackass decides to slam their face into the bubble and split it open again.

id argue the bubbles made of stronger stuff but. uh. its got the endurance of a wet tissue.

And thus my point is made.

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[textjack] this is how I hiatus, right? pretty sure this is how it works

[text] You are the best at hiatus

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shall we move this elsewhere so we're not cluttering up Bro's post?

Sure! Log, or voicemail, or what?

want to put up a log?

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