[text]

[circumsutus]

How many non-humans are here in Vatheon?

If you are not human, what are you?

Comments

[circumsutus]

So, half-dead?

[redboots]

Somewhere around there seems like a good point as any to go with.

[circumsutus]

That's rather vague.

[redboots]

Hey, I'm not the scientist of Ooo. You want to talk to the gum family on that one.

[circumsutus]

Do you mean Prince Bubblegum?

[redboots]

I mean Princess Bubblegum. I mean, I call them a family, but they're not really, just alternate versions of one another.

[Wait shit]

Don't tell him I said that.

[circumsutus]

I won't.

Tell me more about them. I don't have any experience with alternate versions of the same person.

[redboots]

Hey, neither do I, and I'm not a scientist. You really do want Bubblegum for that.

Listen, I have this friend named Simon who got turned into this Ice King, and he kind of went weird but he's mostly harmless lately after I started hanging with him more. He used to write this, like, fanfiction about my friends Finn and Jake. Finn is the only human left on Ooo, and he's a pretty famous hero dude. Jake is a magic dog.

But in the stories Ice King started to write, he kind of... changed their gender and stuff? Fiona and Cake instead of Finn and Jake, and there was Prince Gumball instead of Princess Bubblegum. Ice Queen, not Ice King. He really got into it. All of his stories were kind of bad, 'tho, so I started to help him out, write some stories too, fleshed out my guy self Marshal Lee.

He was always going on about finding the real deal, but I just thought it was... You know. Him being him. I didn't think I actually would run into anyone from those stupid stories we wrote until coming here.

Seriously, don't tell him about this. I told him I was related to Marshal Lee instead of being his chick self from another dimension or whatever. I'm still messing with him on that front and, besides, I know I can be a huge jerk but I don't want to risk his brain exploding or something dumb. Stupid curse.

[circumsutus]

... that is completely absurd.

[redboots]

We're in a bubble trapped under the ocean on, like, a completely different world or something.

Also, while it's rad, you have a screw in your head.

I don't think you can be telling me what's absurd here, buddy.

[circumsutus]

The screw's a fairly basic bit of brain surgery, but I get your point.

It might have been a good idea to lock the thread if you didn't want Bubblegum to see it.

[redboots]

It kind of slipped my mind, okay? Wasn't expecting to word gag all over you.

Anyway, he's smart, I guess, but he's also pretty dumb, sooo I'm hoping the dumb wins out this time and he doesn't look at this.

[circumsutus]

From what I've seen of him, he doesn't seem very intelligent.

[redboots]

He's booksmart, he's not anything else smart, trust me.

[circumsutus]

He's invited me to a science party. Apparently, he's going to make desserts.

[redboots]

Yeaaaaah, he does that.

[circumsutus]

It's a wonder he's survived this long.

[redboots]

Well, back on Ooo, he did have this pretty awesome chick to keep his butt out of trouble.

[circumsutus]

Oh? A version of a friend of yours as well, I'm assuming.

[redboots]

Yup.

[circumsutus]

And does this friend have a name?

[redboots]

Hey, I'm trying to beat the curse here, work with me a little, jeez.

Gumball knows Fionna, but I know Finn. Happy now?

[circumsutus]

I know you're trying to beat the curse, and I'm trying to beat your attempts at beating the curse.

So, what's this Finn person like?

[redboots]

Ruuuude.

Oh, you know. Pretty cool. Hero type.

[circumsutus]

I know the type.