caughtinanetwork | [Video] In which Smoker tries to cook but Sanji takes over

[Here's a rare face of the almost hermit of a marine. He's smoking as much as ever, two cigars at a time, and he appears to be in a kitchen making... ice cream?]

So I overdid my recipe and I have a ton extra ingredients. And I don't want to waste it, so does anyone want some ice cream? If you have the recipe I'll make a different flavor. [If you think this is strange, it's called tsundere. Also it's about to get stranger.]

[Because Sanji chooses that exact moment to wander into the kitchen, also smoking, though he's only got one cigarette dangling at the edge of his mouth. He's absently scratching the back of his head and sounds almost bored when he speaks.]

Oi, shitty cigar man, think I'm gonna make sushi for lunch, you want anythi—

[He stops suddenly, seeing the mess in ~~Smoker's~~ HIS kitchen (and if there's not really a mess, well, there's shit out and some kinda food being made and it's not by Sanji's hands, ergo...mess), and his entire demeanor changes in 0.2 seconds.]

The hell are you doing?!

[Smoker looks incredibly annoyed and points to the ice cream supplies.] Cooking. In my kitchen. [A stubborn arm fold. Aw no, shit's about to get real.]

[Sanji just snorts, because your kitchen? Oh Smoker.] Tch, stopped being yours the second I moved in. [He stomps over, eyeing the ingredients.] Ice cream? [Then he spots the SFC, and promptly shoots Smoker an incredulous look.]

Are you recording yourself making ice cream? What, starting some kinda shitty cooking program?

Oi, who the hell said you could move in? [Smoker's distracted with flushing again though, and he shakes his head, mumbling.] No, I just made too much.... Shut up! [And with that he storms out. Defeated by his own tsun.]

[Raises an eyebrow as he watches him go, mostly just kind of amused.] That idiot... [Checks out the ingredients again, and you know, there really is a lot left. And Smoker just left it all out. Sanji's not about to let anything go to waste, and hey, the shitty starfish is still recording, right?

So he gets all up in the thing's camera, grinning like a moron.]

Good afternoon, beautiful ladies of Vatheon~! Seems I've got all the supplies here for ice cream sundaes! [Clasps his hands together up by his face.] Or perhaps you'd all like to come over for a romantic candlelight dinner first?? [SMOLDERING LOOK.] We can have dessert later~

[But that look doesn't last long, because the idea of any women coming over sets Sanji off twirling around, spewing hearts and babbling randomness like "MELLORINE, MEEEELLORINE~!" annnd that's too much for even the SFC to deal with, so the video feed thankfully cuts off!]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Yes, I agree! I do hope you are a responsible sort of fellow. I have often heard reports of the sort who rise to his bait.

[If you bite it, Sanji? He will enjoy the show before he stops it.]

[She glances over in that direction. He's probably heard her come in then, right?]

Sure. What've you got?

Not particularly.

Ha, please! As if I'd let anything he says get to me!

[Lies. LIES.]

Because you'd admit you killed someone with your cooking?

[There's no escape for you.]

Wow. One girl. What did you hafta do?

That's a shame.

Good point. You do it.

You wouldn't say that if you lived in our world. But of course that's none of your business to know what goes on between us.

I'd own up to it, yeah! But it would never happen!

And nothing, I only had to be my usual charming self and invite her over~

[Pause.]

[Scowls.]

...Actually Smoker asked her first, but I was getting there!

[Grumble grumble.]

Whatever you'd like~

I think Smoker's got some kinda shitty beer in the fridge, I've got wine, I could make you a fruit smoothie, or if you'd prefer a mixed drink of some kind I could whip something up. Or there's cola. Or water.

[Or anything, he'll keep listing stuff off if you don't stop him.]

[Shrugs, looking unconcerned.]

Fair enough. I don't have any brothers or anything so I don't know how that usually goes. I was just thinking of my captain and his brother back home.

Never say never.

[He smirks.]

I'm sure, I'm sure. So really, your number is 0.

[He doesn't like being compared to people and answers.]

I'm sure your captain and his brother are far different from my brother and I. So I suggest you keep those comparisons to yourself.

Geez, touchy much? They're different, alright.

[Mutters.] Neither of them has a stick permanently wedged up their ass.

[he laughs lightly, you are so much fun~]

I see~ I was just taking a guess, that's all.

And that's good to know. But aren't you being a little hard on your... acquaintance? He just seems to be trying to help.

[He's not touchy and he heard that!!]

Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't have a stick up there.

Is the beer actually bad or do you not like it because it's his?

Eh, I'm more a wine person so I haven't had any of it, but it's probably fine—

[Wait. Oh.]

...Ah, this is because I called it 'shitty', huh?

It's probably been there so long you've just forgotten about it~

[Throws his hands up with a frustrated sound.]

Geez, everyone thinks I'm being so fucking awful to him! The asshole is a Marine, he's a Commodore or some shit, I think he can handle it.

[/grumpypants]

Anyway, all I did was ask him a shitty question.

......For now.

Considering I have sexual pleasantries with many of the ladies in this bubble and back home, I'm well aware of my own body.

Cooking things from scratch, it's enjoyable when one can do it, isn't it?

They do? Mn. He did tell me that but I guess he's also a softie at heart? [He was making ice cream of all things after all~!]

Well, couldn't you have asked it more nicely?

Absolutely! It's one of my favorite things to do.

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