caughtinanetwork | 9th Unison Attack - Really?

[Ah crap. He'd known Colette would find out sooner or later, he'd just hoped Lloyd would have been the one to tell her. Truth is he couldn't bring himself to do it. Colette is...

...

Colette stands for everything Zelos couldn't manage. To keep that positive outlook on life in the face of all the evidence of life being a terrible thing. Maybe that's because she grew up with Lloyd, or maybe she's just that amazing on her own, but either way Zelos can never bring himself to dampen that smile of hers on purpose.]

Sorry angel-hunny, it just kinda... worked out that way. It's over and done with y'know? So I just didn't think it was a big deal anymore!

[He'll keep his voice the usual vaguely amused uncaring tone, he'll stay cool and sound like a jerk, because even after everything they'd been through, Zelos Wilder still knows he's nothing if not a complete and utter coward.]

I told everyone not to worry you.

[Zelos...told them not to tell her? But...even though he's saying something she said herself when it came to telling Lloyd about something that hasn't happened for him yet, she can't help but get mad. His tone and....she really hopes he's lying or putting on a fake tone. He can't be that...he isn't really like that! He just...he can't be-- he isn't-- none of them could ever sound that...that unaffected when it comes to something hurting Lloyd. Not after all they've been through.]

But this is Lloyd! And...even though I said that before, about how we shouldn't tell Lloyd about some things that happened between his time and ours because it had already happened for us, this is different! It happened while I was here, even if I was asleep. I think I'd understand if I had arrived after it had happened, but...I didn't find out from any of you! I only found out when Guy asked if we thought the killer got what he deserved that there even was a killer! And...

[And not telling her and finding out from someone else worried her more, about how bad it was.]

And Lloyd wasn't killed so...so I wouldn't be that worried if you'd told me since then it wouldn't feel like something terrible had happened that you were trying to protect me from!

[After everything that's happened, surely he knows her well enough to know that...]

[Getting yelled at by someone like Colette isn't an experience Zelos particularly enjoys, even if he deserves it. He has to keep silently telling himself it's for everyone's good; he'd rather she be mad at him than the rest of the group.

Even so, it hurts.]

What, like you aren't now? Look, there wasn't anything to gain by telling you now. There's nothing you could have done, not really. The guy's blind and under house arrest for Martel knows how long, Lloyd's safe and sound, so there's nothing much to discuss. I didn't want you to be mad and not be able to do anything.

[His tone wavers. Just a hint, just a little bit that maybe this isn't the whole truth, that if he had his way Riffael's head would be on display right over the welcome center, that she, Lloyd, and Sheena would stay where he could protect them at all times, that he feels just as helpless and trapped and lost as any of them. Only a hint. Never a full reveal.]

...just don't be mad at Lloyd. He's had a bit of a hard time adjusting. I thought it'd be better not to tell you but you know how he'll take that on himself. 'S my fault.

[Sorry, lost what I started and then disappeared and then motivation disappeared.

He has a point about that...Maybe she wouldn't be acting like this if she had known, if she'd been told, but she doesn't know. What she thinks would have happened doesn't change how she is acting.]

I...I don't think I'd be mad...And I think I could hide being worried, even right now I'm more hurt than angry. I...guess we'll never know but... I remember how you guys acted when you found out what I was hiding so...So I didn't think you'd do the same thing...

And I don't want to be mad at Lloyd... [She got the yelling out on Zelos anyway--And since the guy's already been punished, she doesn't want him to suffer anymore even though what he's done was terrible.]

[Mission accomplished, then. But something about what she's said niggles at him though, about hiding. That she would hide, still, even after everything. He knows he'd do that himself, but Colette...

He puts a private filter on the conversation.]

You'd hide that from him? It's tough y'know.

[He's not accusing, not at all, just a little wondering.]

[She laughs, but it sounds weak.]

Well...yeah. He'd know I'm worried anyway, but if I'm helping him deal with what happened, I'd stop being worried after a bit [She thinks] so I don't think I'd have much to hide for long.

That's.. surprisingly calculating. Do you always think like that?

[Because, if she does... maybe they're not all that different. She's still leagues of a better person than he is, but at least he wouldn't have to feel like he's handling porcelain when he speaks with her.]

Not all the time....but I think like that a lot.

[At least about hiding things, or what would make her friends worry. She started doing this when she was little so she'd be able to have fun with Lloyd and Genis, and so they wouldn't worry about her...]

I mean, I was hiding what the journey meant from Lloyd and Genis for years before it started.

[Did Zelos...really not know?]

Wow, I never knew. I mean, I met you all after they knew what was up with the Chosen system and all.

[It's quite a relief, if a guilty one. He's never once doubted Colette's intelligence, but often would assume her kind heart would lend more to naivete than allowing herself to see what evils were really going on. But no, now he sees she doesn't have the same blinders he's seen on others, she sees things for what they are and thinks out what has to be done. She's still sweet, kind, and caring, but she's not breakable.

Zelos smiles a bit, an uncommonly gentle one that comes though in his tone even as it's rueful.]

A guess we're more alike than I thought. The Chosen may be a lot more powerful in Tethe'alla - or rather, have been - but if you'd succeeded without changing anything, I would have died and no one knew that. I kept it a secret too.

It must have been harder for you though, keeping it from such close friends.

[Knowing people would be upset and not wanting to cause them grief instead of wondering if anyone would actually care... harder, but luckier. The luckiest for having Lloyd, who changed the world for her.]

Yeah, but you saw what happened with the Chronic Angelus Crystallus Inofficium, when I was turning into an exsphere. I didn't want to worry everyone then too. Back before we met, I didn't care that I'd die after the Oracle because with Lloyd and the others I had a lot of fun and was able to live my life without giving up. I guess...I kept it from them by putting it out of my mind when I was with them.

[Which is different from what she thought just a little bit ago, wow...Now she's feeling even worse about getting mad about them not telling her...If Lloyd really is feeling the same as she now thinks she felt back then...She should be the one apologizing, not him...]

I don't know if it was harder for either of us. Lloyd, Genis, and the Professor are the only ones I really had to hide it from since Father and Grandmother knew, and no one else in the village wanted to be my friend.

[All of them were lucky for having met Lloyd...]

What, really? Why would no one want to befriend a sweet hunny like you?

[Moreover, why shun someone who for all they know is supposed to save the world? That doesn't really make sense, especially given his experience with the position. Sure, it was different in Tethe'alla in that it was mostly just a prestigious title at that point, but he still was praised by those who didn't know him personally. Like the Pope or the King, who... actually wanted him dead or at least under control.

Good thing Colette didn't have to deal with that at least.]

I...I don't think the others in the village thought of me as a human being, since I was the Chosen. So until Lloyd came to school, I was always alone.

[And she thought that was completely okay, if she wasn't human. Lloyd changed her mind about that though.

...so moving on--]

But it worked out! I think if everyone'd wanted to be my friend back in Iselia, I wouldn't have been this close to Lloyd and I wouldn't have met all of you.

Geeze, I knew you lived in the boonies, but I never realized you had it that rough! It's pretty amazing how you still have a positive outlook on it, Colette.

[Forget what he thought, she's still that sparkling sunbeam of happiness and light, which is as much of a relief as it is a stress.]

Does where I lived have anything to do with it? [It sounded like everyone else had rough lives too, even Regal.

...]

Why did you sound like you didn't care earlier?

Ahh, well, I was pretty wanted for my position as Chosen, y'know?

[Sort of. At least for people wanting him to use his position to help them out. It's not like they actually wanted him]

It's hard to believed you were shunned for it. I just figured it had to be because of where you were but I could be wrong.

Huh? What do you mean~? I always care!

Hmmm. Maybe it was because Sylvarant was the declining world. I don't think people would have treated me differently if I'd grown up in Palmacosta instead of Iselia...

[She stares at the SFC. Was he just pretending not to care? So that she'd get mad at him? It's possible...]

...I know. I don't think you always like to show it though.

[Oops. He hadn't been thinking. Learning that Colette may not be as naive as he guessed must have thrown him for a bigger loop than he thought.]

Well y'know, some people are squirrely when they find out others care.

[Like him.]

Squirrely? [And then she makes him doubt that again by being, well, her.]

[Yup, pretty much.]

You know, uncomfortable.

[This is hitting way too close to home...]

Oh.

[Hm....How many people does she know who are uncomfortable when they find out others care?]

I guess they aren't used to it... [That is others caring about them.]

Yeah, yeah, like that. Don't worry about it, angel-hunny~

[W o w he'd really screwed that one up. How'd Colette catch on? Well, really he should probably be asking himself why she hadn't caught onto his act sooner. She's like him. Maybe not the exact same hardships and definitely a lot nicer, but she knows the problems surrounding being a Chosen, the stigma, the pressure.

Well, maybe it's not the end of the world if she knows more about it. Maybe Colette is one of the only people who'd ever understand.]

But y'know... I mean, if you ever wanted to talk about anything...

[He trails off, not sure what else to say. Reaching out for his own sake has never been his strong suit.]

[Huh? Well...She'd always thought she could talk to him about anything; she just always forgot to whenever something came up. She thought he was busy and managed to talk herself out of talking to him about it or he was asleep...Something always came up.]

Of course I'll talk to you! You can talk to me about anything too, if you want.

[There's quite a pause as Zelos makes double - no, triple certain that the filter on the conversation is private and that his door is locked so none of his housemates will come barging in. Not that Zelda barges, but still.]

...Maybe about, y'know, Chosen... things.

[Suddenly Zelos is about as articulate as Lloyd.]

[She smiles softly, though Zelos can't see. Laughing very quietly a little, because Zelos is acting kinda silly.]

I said anything Zelos, and I meant it. We can talk about Chosen things if you want.

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