caughtinanetwork | [Voice/ action in Albert's apartment]

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[Voice/ action in Albert's apartment]

[There's a sound in the background before anyone starts talking, a sound that is almost suspiciously like the loading of a gun. Before anything more ominous happens, though, the noises stop, and a man's voice speaks up.]

Well, this is hella entertaining. They're getting uncreative with their invasive afflictions. You'd think they'd be eager to come up with new and interesting ways to get reactions out of us, instead of rehashing shit they've done before.

For you newbies, it means that this has happened before. At least this time I'm not fucking barking.

This is Dirk, by the way.

[For a few moments, there are some more random sounds- a little mechanical click-click-click, that continues until the recording cuts out.]

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Dirk, it's Rose.

Is it safe to assume that last time you were in Jade's body?

Got it in one.

[It's also safe to assume that having boobs didn't phase him much at all.]

Nice switch you got there.

[... Yeah, he's completely unaware that Kanaya/Rose was a thing.]

[Of course they didn't.]

It was either that or you were in the body of a talking dog. The former seemed more likely. Not that the latter would be improbable here.

[Obviously, or he wouldn't have said that. Rose frowns and is glad this is voice and not video. But when she speaks, none of her actual feelings on the matter are conveyed in her tone.]

Yes, it's always been my dream to spend a week in the body of someone else. A great way to truly walk a mile in their shoes. I'm just relieved that Roxy's not awake for this. It would make for quite the awkward first meeting.

I don't know of one, but I bet we've had at least one.

[Hopefully she's gathered her control enough for an entire conversation, because Dirk isn't going to leave it at that.]

If that was the case, you could just rock the purple text. Not like she wouldn't recognize it for you immediately.

[She sighs. Dirk, you should know that Kanaya has been staying in Roxy's room while she's been in a sleep coma.]

Because purple text works so well in person.

[He does, but between the body switch and the fact that he rarely interacts with her, it doesn't usually seem important.]

Of course it does. You ever tried it?

[He's probably joking.]

[She sighs again.]

Whether or not it could conceivably work isn't what's important here. What is important is that I did not wake up to a sloppy post coma kiss from my mom-daughter who would not be aware of the fact that I am not actually Kanaya.

Hypothetically she could have been switched too. So you'd just be dealing with a blank stare instead.

[But he sees her point.]

If it makes you feel better, it would be more likely to be a glomp at first, and you'd have gotten that even if you weren't in Kanaya's body.

That does make me feel better, Dirk. Thank you.

[Whether or not that's actually sincere is anyone's guess based on the sarcastic tone alone. But this is Rose, so it probably is sincere masked behind sarcasm.]

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[Voice/ action in Albert's apartment]

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