caughtinanetwork | [Voice/ action in Albert's apartment]

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[Voice/ action in Albert's apartment]

[There's a sound in the background before anyone starts talking, a sound that is almost suspiciously like the loading of a gun. Before anything more ominous happens, though, the noises stop, and a man's voice speaks up.]

Well, this is hella entertaining. They're getting uncreative with their invasive afflictions. You'd think they'd be eager to come up with new and interesting ways to get reactions out of us, instead of rehashing shit they've done before.

For you newbies, it means that this has happened before. At least this time I'm not fucking barking.

This is Dirk, by the way.

[For a few moments, there are some more random sounds- a little mechanical click-click-click, that continues until the recording cuts out.]

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[The other curses were bad enough but this is a complete and utter violation and Albert will not stand for it! Even if he pretty much hates his body, that doesn't mean he's comfortable with someone else having it! Nor does he really want to go through puberty again!

It's Dirk's own voice that comes through the SFC almost immediately, practically squawking in protest in a light Texan drawl.]

Don't touch anything! Don't move! Don't even leave the apartment if you're still there and if not go back!

[If Dirk blows anything up and reveals to the whole bubble he's a cyborg, there will be hell to pay!]

[Dirk sincerely hopes that he has never managed to make his voice squawk quite like that.

He doesn't exactly snatch his hand away from the gun arm he was examining, but he does stop poking at it in favor of answering.]

Holy shit, I'm not about to hit a self-destruct switch or something. I've been a good boy and didn't leave the room.

Now, you wanna introduce yourself? Since you're currently managing a stunning impression of me, by virtue of having my voice.

Who do you think?! That's my body you're in possession of and I don't want harm coming to anyone! Just.. just stay there, I'm coming over!

[There's a clatter and a series of soft noises as Albert misfires heading for the door by tripping over the bedframe, knocking over a small tower of hats into a pile on the floor. He briefly considers cleaning them up but every second lost is another second that Dirk's alone with his body and that's just not right. Not to mention potentially dangerous. He could blow a chunk out of the building with the knee missiles, for starters. No, no, he'll just apologize later.

He scrambles out of the room awkwardly, shuddering as he passes the creepy puppet in the corner. He could swear the thing is watching him leave...]

Jesus, don't hurt yourself. [Dirk's body. Whatever. This is making Dirk almost wince, because he knows where all the sharp things are in his room and it practically sounds like Albert is aiming for them.

Amazingly, he does wait patiently without poking around much, while Albert scrambles around. After discovering the gun hand just before getting on the network, he's concluded that Albert's robotic parts are likely dangerous, but he'd been planning on proceeding with caution, though still proceeding, until he'd gotten that reaction.

Now, he's just testing the range of motion on the limbs without trying to figure out how they look on the inside.]

If you're that eager to get here, try figuring out the flashstepping.

I'm not! I just tripped.

[He hasn't had a gangly teenaged body in... actually ever. He was a fairly solidly-built youth, though still a bit awkward and accident prone when he'd had his growth spurt. That had been around fourteen or fifteen which was nearly two decades ago (or six, depending on how you look at it).

He can't very well go out in pajamas, he realizes upon catching sight of himself in the mirror. Damnit, more delays. And he has to pass that creepy puppet again. Grinding his (Dirk's) teeth in frustration, he rummages in the closet for the closest t-shirt and pants, not bothering to look at them closely before pulling them on.

...These jeans are awfully tight.]

How does it work?

[Good work, Albert. Dirk's got the decency to try and refrain from banging up Albert's body, mechanical parts and all. The least he could do is return the favor! Even if Dirk sometimes isn't used to his gangly teenage body himself.

The question about flashstepping throws him off for a moment. It's been a thing he can do for so long, the feeling of it just comes naturally to him. Finally he focuses on the way things were different during the superhero curse when he wasn't flashstepping to come up with an explanation.]

You pick a place you want to be and focus hard as you can on being there fast as possible. It works best for short distances.

But how does it actually functi- ow.

[That's a stubbed toe. This trying to hurry thing isn't working at all. Maybe he needs to slow down and breathe just a little.]

Sorry. How does it actually work, though? Or do you not know the science of it.

Only one person before me ever knew how to in my world, far as I'm aware. Any scientific explanations sound like bullshit conjecture, because that's basically what they are. As far as it works for me, it's instinctive.

I guess instincts don't carry over, then. I'll walk.

[He doesn't want to accidentally do it wrong and flashstep halfway through a wall or something terrible. It isn't his body, so he'll try and take care of it once he manages to master, y'know, being coordinated.]

See you.

[Considering Albert already knows where the apartment is, Dirk doesn't expect him to take long to get there.]

Does this last a week as well? [The pony asks in a calm, serious tone.]

Edited 2013-08-06 02:02 (UTC)

Dash?

[Well, it's definitely her voice. But kind of off. Not to mention she's been around long enough to know about curses.]

You've got her body, huh. Yeah, it should last a week unless changing the length is how they're fucking with us this time around.

Shinjiro. [A short, succinct introduction for Dirk. The formalities and a 'nice to meet you' implied but never spoken.]

So they can happen again and again?

[Dirk's fine with that. It's weird to hear for Rainbow Dash, but he's never minded skipping over the small talk.]

Apparently, but repeats ain't usually common. Unless they have a collection they've cycled through since before any of the current foreigners showed up.

A lot of people must not be here long enough to see it repeated, then.

[Many of the people he'd warmed up to or knew from back home had disappeared recently. He wondered if he would too, and what would happen if it came to that.]

Wonder if someone wrote'em down somewhere.

[Which he considers for a moment, but nope. Hooves. Writing, what do?]

Turnover rate's pretty damn high, yeah, though I can't say I've kept an exact tally of who arrives and who stays.

[It'd be one of the most depressing jobs in Vatheon, probably.]

Someone might've. Or you could borrow some veteran's SFC, and look over the network to see the curses you can find. I'd volunteer, but this one ain't mine and it only goes back a couple weeks.

[Jet had no idea there was anything off at all, he rarely checked the network till later in the day when it would occur to him, and he'd awoken as normal as he ever was.

He didn't really have anything planned, so crashing in on Albert's apartment sounded appealing for the time being, at least. He knocked twice but then opened the door and let it swing wide so he could lounge on the doorframe. At least he had knocked this time.]

Albert, you awake?

[Of course he was, he didn't sleep in like crazy like the teen did, but that was his version of 'can I come in?']

[The only person Dirk is expecting to come into the apartment is Albert himself, considering the way he'd been rushing to leave Dirk's house over in the Coral Corral.

This is certainly not an interruption he was expecting, and Dirk is caught flat-footed. This means Jet will be coming in to see "Albert" seated on the couch, shirtless, apparently interrupted in the middle of examining some part of his left hand, though he lowers it when Jet opens the door.]

Jet?

[Albert did introduce himself as "Jet's friend" so he can't be too surprised (then again, Albert was also introduced as 004, so the name is a new one). It's just that he didn't think anyone would be barging in. Or that the door would be unlocked.]

[Seeing Albert like that registered with a snap and sent color flooding his cheeks. They'd known each other for years and this was the first time Jet had seen him shirtless and not being worked on. As far as he knew, Albert wasn't the type to just sit around like that.

Which should have been a warning sign in and of itself, but the teen was embarrassed, self-conscious and a little annoyed which just meant the annoyance was going to take all that and run. He stood up straight and crossed his arms.]

What the hell? What's your bag all of a sudden? You don't even take anything off when we go all the way.

[The fact he was slipping into decades old slang completely escaped his notice as his face only strove to match his hair.]

Edited 2013-08-09 16:06 (UTC)

[Whether he understands the slang or not is pretty irrelevant, since he understands "go all the way" just fine. Which means that the next sight Jet will be treated to is Albert's face completely flushed.

It's not that he's uncomfortable with the idea of sex, considering the amount of innuendos he's fond of making. It's just that it's too much information both about the body he's in and the person who usually occupies it.]

I'm not Albert.

[The problem with Dirk being flustered is that he gets a lot less eloquent, especially in situations like this where a quick explanation would actually help.]

[Jet just stared at him, the heat only continuing to rise to his face. He wanted to say Albert was joking, but that wasn't the kind of joke Albert would make.

Then that probably meant this wasn't Albert. But that made zero sense...and, if it wasn't Albert, then who was it and why did they look like him?]

The hell do you mean by that? Who are you, then?

[If he hadn't just mortified himself in front of someone else, it might occur to him that there was a limited number of people he had really talked to since arriving here and that those were probably his options...but he had just mortified himself and his thoughts were too scrambled for that.]

[It takes a few moments for Dirk to get over his mortified tongue-tied staring, but he does eventually, and even manages a proper explanation while he's at it.]

It's a curse. It switched around which person was in which body. This isn't the first time it's happened, either, you look on the network and it's pretty obvious what's going on.

Uh, I'm Dirk.

[If any of Jet's embarrassment had faded, it was back in spades.]

Oh. Shit. Sorry.

[The was probably an information bomb Dirk wasn't interested in and Jet definitely hadn't meant to drop it.]

I, uh, don't tend to check the network all that often...guess I should. Look, I'll just..go, I guess.

[He started to turn to leave but then paused and looked back.]

Hey...just don't go around spilling any of that, okay? It's not anything we put out there.

Spilling any of what?

[Isn't that just Jet's luck that Albert in Dirk's body would be coming down the hall of the building just at that moment? He hadn't bothered to do his hair, the blond tresses hanging in his face so that he keeps having to pull them out of the way to see.]

Edited 2013-08-15 16:58 (UTC)

[Any hope for a blush dying down is promptly ruined by Albert walking in through the door at the most awkward possible moment. At least he doesn't clam up completely this time, though he isn't paying enough attention to really get irritated by the state Albert's left his hair in.]

He mistook me for you.

[This is the worst conversation to be having when he doesn't have a shirt on.]

Dirk, it's Rose.

Is it safe to assume that last time you were in Jade's body?

Got it in one.

[It's also safe to assume that having boobs didn't phase him much at all.]

Nice switch you got there.

[... Yeah, he's completely unaware that Kanaya/Rose was a thing.]

[Of course they didn't.]

It was either that or you were in the body of a talking dog. The former seemed more likely. Not that the latter would be improbable here.

[Obviously, or he wouldn't have said that. Rose frowns and is glad this is voice and not video. But when she speaks, none of her actual feelings on the matter are conveyed in her tone.]

Yes, it's always been my dream to spend a week in the body of someone else. A great way to truly walk a mile in their shoes. I'm just relieved that Roxy's not awake for this. It would make for quite the awkward first meeting.

I don't know of one, but I bet we've had at least one.

[Hopefully she's gathered her control enough for an entire conversation, because Dirk isn't going to leave it at that.]

If that was the case, you could just rock the purple text. Not like she wouldn't recognize it for you immediately.

[She sighs. Dirk, you should know that Kanaya has been staying in Roxy's room while she's been in a sleep coma.]

Because purple text works so well in person.

[He does, but between the body switch and the fact that he rarely interacts with her, it doesn't usually seem important.]

Of course it does. You ever tried it?

[He's probably joking.]

[She sighs again.]

Whether or not it could conceivably work isn't what's important here. What is important is that I did not wake up to a sloppy post coma kiss from my mom-daughter who would not be aware of the fact that I am not actually Kanaya.

Hypothetically she could have been switched too. So you'd just be dealing with a blank stare instead.

[But he sees her point.]

If it makes you feel better, it would be more likely to be a glomp at first, and you'd have gotten that even if you weren't in Kanaya's body.

That does make me feel better, Dirk. Thank you.

[Whether or not that's actually sincere is anyone's guess based on the sarcastic tone alone. But this is Rose, so it probably is sincere masked behind sarcasm.]

Sup, dude? Gotta say this curse is something else.

[Leo's not gonna say it's him right away.]

One of the more reality-bending ones they've come up with, yeah. Unfortunately, it doesn't come along with a "hi my name is" tag.

[In other words, Leo should introduce himself now. The greeting is kind of a clue, but on an unfamiliar face it might take a while to place.]

Can't you tell? I'm totally Nanaki, man. But name tags would be super convenient for sure.

[He waits a moment before smirking. It's probably a little weird seeing one of Leo's smirks on Nanaki's face.]

Seriously, I'm disappointed you couldn't tell that I'm Leo.

I've spoken to this chick all of maybe once. [Davesprite's bad at introducing his family to his friends.]

So I'm sorry I'm not a mind reader. Be real, you'd have taken a moment or two to figure it out if I hadn't introduced myself.

[Though Dirk has... a rather distinct method of talking. Which would have helped in knowing who it was.]

You should talk to her more often. She's pretty cool.

Yeah, I would have. [He grins cheekily.] But come on, I had to have some fun with this.

Well, you've given me a perfect conversation-starter. "That guy in your body sure can be an ass, huh?"

[But from the way he smiles as he says it, he's obviously joking.]

[Leo can tell he's joking, but he also can't resist joking back. So he pretends to be shocked and offended by the statement.]

Yeah? Well, two can play that game. I can go talk to the guy in your body and say the exact same thing.

That's nothing he doesn't know already. We're acquainted. That's the first thing anyone learns about me.

Of course you already know each other.

[He sighs, but it sounds exaggerated and fake.]

Guess I'm a special snowflake cause the first thing I learned about you was that you thought my table was sweet.

You are a unique and delicate flower, all right. You're the lucky lottery winner, 'cept instead of a million bucks you got a friendship with me.

Is it too late to ask for the million bucks instead?

[He laughs. Honestly, he wouldn't trade Dirk for even a billion dollars.]

Entirely too late. That offer had to be redeemed within two days of meeting me. You're shit outta luck, bro.

That's a short return policy. [He laughs.] Guess I'll just have to deal with what I've got.

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