caughtinanetwork | Charm ☼ 009 [text]

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Charm ☼ 009 [text]

[note: backdated to Dec. 28th. Originally posted here before the move to dreamwidth, but I wanted to put it here too, as I think it got lost in the shuffle. If we had a thread in that last post I'm sorry! Either continue here or start a new thread! Thanks!]

So Harry's gone home and James is in one of those strange, prolonged sleeps. I've even brewed a potion meant to wake someone from a magic-induced sleep, but. I suppose whatever causes it is beyond my abilities. A Happy Christmas to me.

But I suppose that's just one of the hazards of living in this place, isn't it? Soldiering on. And, of course, it's not as if I'm alone. I've adopted a sort of second family of sorts here, too. A family that doesn't really understand what I'm talking about when I talk about family.

So! I thought it would be helpful if I put up a little sort of...Informative Post on Human Family Structures for those of you with different backgrounds. Below you will find a handy little chart. A family tree. My family tree. I think I'm just going to post it, and then try to explain it all in a way that makes sense.

All right. Now we'll break it down. This might seem incredibly obvious, but blue indicates a male and pink is female.

We start at the top with my parents. Mr. and Mrs. Evans. The thick line that connects them indicates that they're married; he is her husband and she is his wife. (Mr. and Mrs. are "mister" and "mistress" although Mrs. is pronounced "missus". An unmarried woman would be Miss. My mum and dad do have proper names, of course, although I have never called them by them). Mr. Evans is my father. My male parent. I call him Dad. Mrs. Evans is my mother. My female parent. I call her Mum.

All right, so this becomes necessary: a quick and painless human reproduction lesson. One male and one female are required to produce a child. The male deposits his genetic material into the female (Merlin, that's got to be the most sterile and least romantic way to put that), where it combines with the female's genetic material. The child grows within its mother for nine months before she gives birth. If the child is male he is their son. If she is female, their daughter. A human child will typically live with his or her parents until the age of about eighteen. Traditionally, the mother is the primary caretaker of the child, particularly when he or she is an infant (the first three months of life). The father serves as protector and provider.

A couple will usually have more than one child. Children who share the same parents are called siblings. A male sibling is a brother, a female sibling a sister. Petunia Evans Dursley is my sister. Siblings are one's closest genetic relatives and the relationships between siblings are the ones that affect a person the most in their lives. You grow up alongside them, competing with them, helping them along. My sister and I don't get along. I could go into that, if anyone is interested, but that's not the point of this post.

My sister and I will both marry and will each have one child. I marry James, of course, and my sister marries a bloke called Vernon Dursley. The most terrible sort of muggle, really. But anyway. A note on last names! When a woman marries, she nearly always takes her husband's last name. So when James and I get married I'll go from being Miss Lily Evans to Mrs. Lily Evans Potter. Petunia will take her husband's last name as well. Children also take the surname of their father, so our son's full name is Harry James Potter.

All right, so now we've got parents, children, and siblings worked out. Now it gets a little more complicated as we look at the relationships between the other members on the family tree that aren't directly connected by lines.

Take Harry and my mum and dad. Each row of people horizontally is a different generation, and for that separation of two generations you add a "grand" onto the relationship name. So my father is Harry's grandfather, my mum his grandmother. And he is their grandson. James' parents are also his grandparents. If you took it another generation further, so say Harry has a son, you would start adding "great"s to the names. My grandson would be my parents' great-grandson, they his great-grandparents. For each generation separated after that you'd add another "great". Another interesting note...with each generation you have twice as many grandparents. Because each parent has two parents of their own, you have four grandparents, eight great-grandparents, sixteen great-great-grandparents, and so on. With a human lifespan, one usually only meets their grandparents.

Then there's also the relationship between a child and his or her parents' siblings. A parent's brother is an uncle, sister an aunt. Petunia is Harry's aunt, and her husband is his uncle. I'm also their son Dudley's aunt, and James is his uncle.

And just one more! The relationship between siblings' children. So on the chart, the relationship between Harry and Dudley. They're cousins. Same name for both males and females.

I'm sure that not everything has been explained here, but I hope that this at least gives all you trolls a better idea of how this all works. If you have any questions about the relationships and what they imply or...anything. Just ask! I am an open book.

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Uhh.

[Look at all that text. That is a lot of text. Humans are complicated.]

I'm real sorry your [A quick scan of the text again. He could do this.] grandson? yeah, aight, I think that's the one. left, sister. Maybe he will all like come back real motherfuckin' soon, yeah?

Thank you, Gamzee. My son, actually. Harry. Just one line between us.

I really hope so.

Just gotta keep the belief all up in your fuckin' blood pusher. Miracles get to happening every day.

[He eyes the chart again.]

Right right. Shit, this is all sorts of wicked complicated.

Of course. He was here before, there's a good chance he'll turn up again. It was bad timing, with Christmas, though. Sirius and Shin and his friends were here, but...Christmas. You're supposed to spend Christmas with your family.

You'll get the hang of it. Or you won't, and that's okay too. I don't mind explaining.

Couldn't all spend it with my fuckin' family, but Equius and Darkleer were just as motherfuckin' chill.

[His goat is dead after all. No more Christmas celebrations there.]

Oh! Hey. He were real into what we all got him. So thanks for that, sis.

But you did, silly. Family is what you make it. I was just talking about blood relatives here, but you don't have to be related by blood to be family. I've told Karkat before, I think of him as a younger brother. And you and Equius, too. You even called me "sis" up there, see?

Exactly. You got him Dad presents, right? Family.

Edited 2012-01-09 21:07 (UTC)

Yeah, we did. He dug them. Least I all think he up and did. He don't really fuckin' show that shit much.

[Oh why do all the men in his life have to be either so grumpy or lineface-y.

Oh right. Cause that is his type.]

I'm sure he loved them. Because it's not just about the gift itself, but also the sentiment behind it. A "World's Best Dad" mug isn't just a mug, it's an expression of your sentiments toward him, and that means so much more. I think it's brilliant, anyway. The way so many of the adult trolls have become very parental toward you kids...miracles, Gamzee.

Haha, you're tellin' me, sis. All was like adults were supposed to fuckin' eat us. That's what we done got schoolfed. But I am guessing they all schoolfed a lot of shit to us that weren't fuckin' true.

Unfortunately happens all the time.

You know what, speaking of Christmas gifts, I don't think I ever sent you mine. Things were...I was distracted. On Christmas. I'll send it right now, all right? Keep an eye out for my owl.

Aight

[And then a few minutes later, Gamzee pops on the screen again, holding it awkwardly with an owl perched on the back of his shoulder, pecking at his hair.]

Uh, sis. What do I-- ow. Shit. It's trying to grub on me.

Edited 2012-01-11 22:03 (UTC)

[Lily giggles.]

Just give him a little snack. A cracker or a piece of meat or something. Sorry.

Ha ha, aight, aight. I'm sure I can all find the motherfucker something to grub on.

[ooc: You cool with assume Gamzee sent her his present around Christmas? He would've gotten her an absolutely preposterous amount of baked goods. And a little pouch of 'magic' stardust.]

His name is Nonnatus. He's brilliant.

And read the note attached to the gift. It will explain what it is.

And thank you so much for all the pies and things. My entire household spent several days gorging on baked goods.

[ooc: Yes, that's fine with me!]

How did you all get him to fuckin' bring shit for you? That's wicked.

[he disappears from video for a while, though he still can be heard rummaging about, first to feed the owl, and then to open his gift.

And for a moment it is all quiet.

Then he comes tearing back into view, staring, holding the box.]

You serious, sister? Like, you really fuckin' serious about this?

With a little bit of magical coaxing it's not difficult at all. Owls are brilliant, they can find people anywhere.

[She waits quietly, a grin slowly widening on her face until he comes back and it's ear to ear.]

Yes. I'm serious. Completely and totally one hundred percent. I've even tried it, so I know that it's the correct strength. He can hold you, Gamzee.

[Forget owls. This is... this is incredible. So incredible that he has to rub the heel of his hand over one eyes for a moment.]

Goddamn. Goddamn, that's--

Brilliant, right? I have been so excited to give this to you, Gamzee. For both you and Equius. Please, enjoy. And when it's gone I'll make more. As much as you want for as long as I'm here, love.

[He laughs, but it is definitely that kinda laugh of some dude so touched he might as well cry.]

Fuck. You can all be making any sort of motherfuckin' miracle happen, can't you?

I do what I can. For those I care about. You're important to me. Both of you. I want you to be happy. I want you to be able to hold each other properly. And it's easy. So easy to do this for you. Anything you need, Gamzee. I'm here for you.

Haha, you're the motherfuckin' best, sis. There ever any shit you need done, you call on a motherfucker, aight? Not all being sure what shit I can do for a sister what worked fuckin' beautiful miracles all like that, but if I can all be lending a prong, I want to.

Thanks, Gamzee. I'll remember that. And you can do plenty. This place is hard sometimes and spending time with you makes me happy. That's all I need in return.

SO IF I'M READING THIS RIGHT
AND IF GAMZEE AND EQUIUS ARE RIGHT IN COMPARING AN ANCESTOR TO A PARENT
THEN THAT WOULD MEAN, BY YOUR HUMAN STANDARDS...
1. THE SIGNLESS IS MY DAD
2. THE DISCIPLE IS MY MOTHER??? I GUESS?
3. THE DOLOROSA IS MY GRANDMOTHER
4. KANAYA IS SOMEHOW MY AUNT
5. AND I THINK NEPETA'S MY SISTER.
IN SHORT, HUMANS ARE FUCKING WEIRD AND WE'RE ALL RELATED ANYWAY BECAUSE OF THE INCESTUOUS SLURRY.
ALSO
UH
IN THE EVENT THAT TWO PEOPLE OF THE SAME GENDER WERE TO MARRY, HOW DO THE LAST NAMES WORK THEN?

Edited 2012-01-10 13:31 (UTC)

Look at that, Karkat. You have a complete family. That's absolutely brilliant.

I don't know The Disciple, but by what you've said here she must be Nepeta's ancestor? And Signless' matespirit? And I suppose Kanaya is your aunt! I think she fills that role quite well, actually. Oh, this is so lovely. A whole, complete family, Karkat. Right here in Vatheon. I know it doesn't mean as much to you, but. It's almost like a serendipity thing.

Of course the relationships don't line up perfectly with the human ones, but still. I'll probably never have a proper moirail either. But still.

I don't know any people of the same gender who've gotten married, it's not something that happens often where I'm from, but I would imagine they would either choose a last name for both of them, keep their own last names, or hyphenate them. I think hypenating is the best idea. Some women choose to do that as well, either keeping their last name or hypenating. So if I decided to hypenate my last name when I got married, I'd be Lily Evans-Potter. Instead I'll keep my last name as sort of a middle name.

I GUESS?
I DON'T REALLY THINK OF THEM AS FAMILY LIKE YOU.
EXCEPT FROM THE SIGNLESS I GUESS
AND MAYBE THE DOLOROSA
SORT OF.
I SURE AS HELL DON'T THINK OF NEPETA LIKE A SISTER OR KANAYA LIKE...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HAVING AN AUNT IS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE. SHE'S JUST MY BEST FRIEND.
ONE OF THEM, BUT WHATEVER.
AND I'M NOT SURE THE DISCIPLE IS THE SIGNLESS'S MATESPRIT EITHER?
THEY'VE GOT SOME SORT OF RELATIONSHIP BUT IT'S OUTSIDE THE QUADRANTS SOMEHOW, FROM WHAT I WAS TOLD.
I SHOULD PROBABLY ASK ABOUT THAT SOMETIME.
BUT THIS IS ABOUT ON THE SAME LEVEL AS CALLING YOU HARRY'S LUSUS OR JAMES'S MATESPRIT.
THE LINES OF RELATION ARE ANALOGOUS BUT THE ACTUAL EXPRESSION OF THEM ISN'T QUITE THE SAME.
YOU DIDN'T NAME HARRY BY MAKING FUNNY NOISES AT HIM UNTIL ONE STUCK, DID YOU?
OR COMMUNICATE WITH HIM WITHOUT SPEECH WITHOUT A REALITY-ALTERING GAME PROVIDING THE FUNCTION THROUGH DEATH AND GAME MECHANICS, BUT THAT'S OFF-TOPIC.
BUT ON THE TOPIC OF MARRIAGE THOUGH
I IMAGINE HYPHENATING WOULD BE EASIER FOR YOU HUMANS.
YOU'VE ONLY GOT ONE QUADRANT TO WORRY ABOUT NATURALLY, SO YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO MAKE A CHAIN OF LIKE... SIX LAST NAMES IF YOU COUNT YOUR OWN AND TOOK BOTH FROM AN AUSPISTICISM WITH THE REST.
EVEN JUST THE CONCUPISCENT QUADRANTS WOULD NET YOU THREE IN TOTAL.

You've still got people to fit in all the spaces. Like filling your quadrants. My sister hates me. She kept my son in a cupboard under her stairs for ten years. That's certainly not how an aunt is supposed to treat a nephew. Ah! I knew I forgot something. If Kanaya is your aunt then you'd be her nephew. And if she's Nepeta's aunt too, Nepeta would be her niece.

...it is rather complicated, isn't it?

Is that really how you got your name? I don't know how we'll pick Harry's name. The James is obviously from his father's name. And I'll only get to communicate with him via speech when I met him here. He'll still be a baby when I die. Not old enough to be speaking. Maybe he'll be able to say "Mama". That's usually a baby's first word.

Maybe adopt their last names as middle names, then. The headmaster of my school's full name is Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. And you'd only hyphenate if you got married. Do you plan on marrying all four quadrants? Say if you only married Equius and were still with Gamzee and Eridan and we'll ignore ashen for now. You could be Karkat Makara Ampora Zahak-Vantas.

HUMAN FAMILY STUFF IS COMPLICATED AS FUCK, YES.
TROLLS HAVE IT EASIER
WE'RE ALL RELATED AND WE DON'T GIVE A SHIT EXCEPT THAT SOME ARE DISTINGUISHED AS ANCESTORS AND DESCENDANTS.
THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, EITHER.
LUSII CAN'T TALK ON THEIR OWN NORMALLY, AND IT'S ONLY THROUGH TURNING THEM INTO SPRITES IN SGRUB THAT WE EVER HAD THE CHANCE.
SO YES, THAT IS HOW WE GET OUR NAMES.
THEY MAKE WHATEVER LUSUS NOISES AT US, AND EVENTUALLY SOMETHING STICKS.
WHAT EXACTLY IS A MIDDLE NAME, THOUGH?
I MEAN THE FACT THAT IS GOES IN THE MIDDLE IS OBVIOUS AS HELL, BUT IT DOESN'T STOP THE WHOLE THING FROM BEING COMPLETELY UNWIELDY.
I AM NOT GOING TO BE KARKAT VANTAS-AMPORA-ZAHHAK-MAKARA OR WHATEVER OTHER CRAZY COMBINATION COMES OUT OF HYPOTHETICAL MARRIAGES
AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO IN THE FUTURE ANYWAY.
EQUIUS IS
AN IDEA
AND I MEAN, WE WANT TO SOMEDAY BUT IT WON'T EVER BE OFFICIAL UNTIL WE'RE OLDER AND ONE OF PROPOSES FORMALLY.

It's all based on the same principle. People pair off, usually in male-female couples. The couples have children. Those children grow up and pair off and have children. And so on.

I know. You were comparing cultures. But still. Before he came here, Harry had only ever heard my voice in nightmares and other people's memories.

Middle names are usually names passed down from family members. Not everyone has one, it's up to the parents.

They do a pretty good job of naming you, then. All your names are great. Unwieldy? Have you looked at the titles of any of your films, Karkat?

Of course.

YOU HUMANS REPRODUCE DIRECTLY, THOUGH.
WHILE WE MIGHT BOND INTO CONCUPISCENT PAIRS, GENETIC MATERIAL CONTRIBUTED BY ONE IS MIXED WITH THAT OF SEVERAL OTHERS BEFORE IT EVER BECOMES THE EGG OF A NEW TROLL.
WITH THE EXCEPTION OF US REMAINING TROLLS, DUE TO ECTOBIOLOGY CLONING SHENANIGANS
ANY NORMAL TROLL WOULD HAVE A WHOLE SLEW OF GENETIC CONTRIBUTORS, MAKING THE NOTION OF PARENTS NULL AND VOID IN COMPARISON TO THE HUMAN VERSION.
THE WHOLE NAME THING STILL SOUNDS UNWIELDY AS FUCK, SO I'M NOT GOING TO BOTHER WITH IT.
AND SHUT UP ABOUT TROLL MOVIES.
UNLIKE YOU WE HAVE THOUSANDS OF SWEEPS WORTH OF FILM HISTORY, WHICH MEANS WE HAVE LONG SINCE RUN OUT OF SHORT TITLES TO USE FOR THEM.
BESIDES, THEY'RE INFORMATIVE, UNLIKE YOURS.

I know, I know, you've explained the whole thing in detail. And I know it's not the same thing. But it's very comparable. I can see it, even if you can't. Family doesn't have to be related by blood anyway. I was speaking of blood relation here, but people often adopt others into their families, either officially or unofficially. You've made a family. Through my eyes, at least.

Obviously it's much easier when you've only got one romantic partner. Only two names to choose from. And it's most often a male-female pair, and the female nearly always takes the male's last name.

They don't have to be informative, that's what the little blurb on the back of the box is for. Your titles are even longer than that, though! The title is meant to grab your attention and give you an idea of what the film is about right off the bat. And trailers! Trailers also give an idea of what the film is about. You don't need the whole thing spelled out for you before you watch it. And how can you ever even remember the title of your favorite film?

Apologies for the antics of Touma and Shin earlier. I'll try my best to keep them in line.

I'm your other new housemate. I'm Nasuti Yagyu. Lily Evans right? Or are you Potter already? [She wasn't sure if she missed that one detail.]

No apologies needed, dear. I'm very fond of Shin and any friends of his are friends of mine.

It's a pleasure to meet you, Natsui Yagyu. What should I cal you?

I'm still Evans, yes. I'm seventeen right now. James, however, is twenty-one, and is a husband and father.

You're too kind. You can just call me Nasuti. That's what everyone else calls me, anyway.

[Pause. Blink.]

You're...seeing a married man? [Gasp! Scandal!]

Natsuti. It's a lovely name.

[She laughs.]

He married me, love. We were dating before we came here. He went home, we got married and had a baby, we died. He came back. I'm still seventeen, and just his girlfriend. But he's my husband and the father of my son. It's complicated.

Thank you! It's French, actually.

[Nasuti pauses to let the last bit sink in. She nods slowly.]

So people can be here from different points in time. I figured that much.

But apparently people can be sent back...only to come back here? I wonder why that is.

French? Really?

Yes, it's very strange. When I first arrived there were four of us here from home. James and I were from the same point in time and our friends Remus and Sirius were a year younger. Sirius left and came back at twenty-two, James is twenty-one, Remus is gone, James and my son was here briefly, his best friend was here longer. My best friend, Severus...he's here. He's thirty-nine. This place is very confusing.

But thank Merlin for it, James has already died back home and Sirius is in prison. This place is a blessing. And a curse, but...it's given me so much.

[Nasuti smiled. Perhaps this place wasn't so bad, if she looked beyond her own circumstance. Besides, this girl was rather talkative, so many not all the members of the household were as surly as her husband.]

So you're the youngest of the group, then? Hopefully it's not too troubling.

[Lily laughs.]

I've always been the oldest of us when it comes to maturity. And absolutely nothing has changed. I actually haven't found it troubling at all. Two years of being married to me has made James even more wonderful than he already was. My influence, of course. But it's almost like skipping through all the learning bits. He knows me through and through. Under some circumstances that might be disconcerting, but...it's absolutely brilliant. He's the only man for me.

Hehe...wonderful...[Now if only he'd be polite to outsiders, we'd be in business.]

[She sees that in her expression.]

Don't worry. He'll warm up to you. He's quite fond of Shin now, you know.

Shin is pretty difficult to actively dislike.

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Charm ☼ 009 [text]

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[TEXT] fun fact: I don't have a middle name

[TEXT] fun fact: Mine is Sally!

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