caughtinanetwork | Thirty-Seventh Flare - Video

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Thirty-Seventh Flare - Video - The More You Know

Okay, okay, hold the fuck up.

[Pardon his language, Vatheon, it is some godawful time in the morning. THANKS NURSES THAT WAS REAL SWELL. So here is a sleepy young man rubbing at his eyes, long red hair everywhere.]

First of all, creepy nurse lady, you're doing it completely wrong. That's NOT how April Fool's works! It's supposed to be completely harmless! Harmless! That's an adjective! Without injury, unhurt!

[He's kind of... flail... gesturing as he says all this.]

Secondly, I'm noticing waaaaaay too many of you have no idea what April Fool's Day even is, so here I am to educate you so that the rest of us aren't alone in facepalming. It's a holiday where you joke around with one another, play pranks. You know, like put a whoopie cushion on someone's seat so that it makes a farting noise when they sit down. Or you saran wrap their hair. Or you take all their stuff and gift wrap it like it's Christmas.

Or, if you're me, you replace Axel's hair gel container with gravy instead of gel and Demyx's with melted cookies 'n' cream ice cream.

[He hasn't actually done that. But boy, they don't know that.]

Also, Karkat, holy shit, calm your stupid nubby horns! I think I went deaf! I thought of just going back to sleep so I could be, I dunno, coherent in the morning, but then you started screaming and I think I suffered a heart attack! Arden had to perform CPR!

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DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, THOSE ASS TUMORS USED A MURDER AS A FUCKING PRANK!

OH WOW GEE WIZ DO YOU REALLY THINK SO, I KIND OF DIDN'T NOTICE-

OH WAIT I TOTALLY FUCKING DID, YOU DUMBASS, SORRY IF I'M RUNNING ON FUCKZERO HOURS OF SLEEP AND AM TRYING NOT TO HAVE A MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!

I THINK I'M DOING BETTER THAN YOU!!!

SAYS THE ONE WITHOUT POST TRAUMATIC LOSER DISEASE. YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO HAVE A MAJOR FREAKOUT? FUCK YOU! I ALREADY WENT THROUGH ONE! YOU SAW IT YOURSELF! MY RAGE IS JUSTIFIED SO HARD JUSTICE NOW EXISTS TO PROP IT UP AS A SHOWCASE OF HOW BADLY THEY FUCKED UP, FOREVER.

DUDE DO I NEED TO COME OVER THERE, I FREAKIN' WILL, I AM LIKE TWO MINUTES AWAY!!!

[Why are they even using SFCs when they're yelling like this?]

YOU'RE NOT MY MOIRAIL, DON'T TRY TO ACT LIKE YOU ARE!

I AM NOT TRYING TO PALE HIT ON YOU OR WHATEVER, I'M JUST GOING TO MAKE YOU SHUT UP- OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT I REALLY AM COMING OVER NOW!!

SUCK IT!!!

BEND OVER AND SUCK IT YOURSELF, BULGEBREATH!

GAMZEE'S COMING OVER AND HE'LL DEAL WITH IT SO STAY THERE.

BUT THEN YOU'D DIE OF UNHAPPINESS FROM NOT SUCKING IT, LOSER HORNS, WE BOTH KNOW IT!!!

AND NO I DO WHAT I WANT!!!

MORE LIKE I'D VOMIT PROFUSELY OVER YOUR DISGUSTING HUMAN GENITALS IF I DID!

ANY CONSEQUENCES ARE YOU OWN BRAINDEAD FAULT!

Lea!? Hope your mom's not here to hear that language.

[ And then he goes from surprised to somber and serious in an instant. ]

What's going on here? That was... I need to stop them before anyone else gets hurt. Or worse.

... [ It's April Fool's already? Darn! Terra's not here to get pranked. :c ]

Need help pulling any pranks before I get to locating those nurses?

Ven!?

[WHOA WHEN DID HE MISS THIS]

[This is what happens when so much happens in such a short amount of time. Suuuuucks.]

[Wait, more importantly-]

Please, please, never tell my mom, I would be so grounded!

[And even more more importantly-]

When did you get here!? When did that happen!? Oh man this whole thing has me messed up on all the newbies and revisits to Vatheon!

Okay, wait.

Just. Wait.

[Breathe iiiiiin...]

[And out.]

Sorry you got dragged into this place at that... really weird time...

Normally it's not like this, I swear. I think the nurses are just... really messed up. But if they just did it for April Fool's, I don't think they'll do it again..

Most of the locals are pretty tame, most of the time. I don't think this will happen again... But if you need help lookin' for the clinic, I can help you out.

It's good to see you again! Heh, a lot has changed since the last time you were here. Anyone explain the weird time shenanigans that go on in this place?

Also the salt in the sugar container or restringing Demyx's babies.

Might have also put soap in his fish tanks. Think it's might be a bit harmful for the critters?

Wait...so...humans have a whole day just for pranking?

[Why do they not have this in Atlantica? He would be all over it!]

If anyone puts soap in my fish tanks I will unstring Arpeggio and strangle them with her strings.

I put a whoopie cushion on Axel's chair back home onc--

_[Wait.]

Oh, you are NOT swapping my gel out! I-I just--! Ew!

_{[NOPE THAT WASN'T A THUD COMIGN FROM THE BEDROOM AND A DOOR SLAMMING OPEN. HE'S NOT WORRIED ABOUT HIS HAIR GEL THAT ISN'T WHY HE'S RUNNING TO THE BATHROOM AT ALL.

he just really has to pee.

okay he's really just checking on his gel.]}

Take it ya didn't mind the glue in your boots then.

W-What?! Oh, come on! Those were my only pair!

Relaxed, mate. Think if I went over to really mess with ya, I would have done a bit more.

I'm not sure I should be scared or not.

Wouldn't be that bad.

Your hair might just be green and your clothes might have been swapped with something else. [Shrug.]

Well, as you can see, eheheheh, he might not like that very much...

Don't worry, I got this covered.

What, you don't?

[And meanwhile, Lea will just be cackling like a fiend downstairs, don't mind him.]

_{[

Oh thank god okay his gel is safe for now.

But he's still going to mess back.]}

Leaaaaaaaaaaaa! It's not there!

[He can roll with it.]

MAYBE ONE OF THE CHOCOBOS ATE IT.

I DON'T THINK THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO EAT IT, DUDE! IT'S GOT STUFF IN IT!

IF IT'S THE ONE I GOT, THEN IT'S JUST PLASTIC AND ICE CREAM, I THINK THEY'LL BE FINE.

DID YOU KNOW WHAT I CAUGHT ARDEN EATING ONCE?

BUT IT'S PLASTIC! I THOUGHT THEY WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO EAT THAT STUFF!

A-AND IF YOU SAY HE CHEWED MY BOOTS THEN I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT WAS HIM!

[C A C K L I N G]

NO, ARDEN WAS THE ONE WHO WENT AFTER YOUR BOOTS. YOU KNOW THOSE WEIRD ROUND BUMPY DOG TOY THINGS YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PUT PEANUT BUTTER IN?

_{[LEA YOU ARE GETTING NO BLOWJOBS FOR A MONTH GOSH.]}

YOU MEAN THAT THING I KICKED AND IT BEANED ME IN THE FACE AFTER IT BOUNCED OFF THE WALL?!

YEAH THAT ONE.

GUESS WHAT I SAW HIM SWALLOW DOWN HIS GULLET LAST WEEK?

DUDE--WHAT?! DUDE, PLEASE TELL ME HE CRAPPED THAT OUT OR SOMETHING BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF THIS PLACE HAS A VET!

...FUCK, WHAT IF ATHENA GOT INTO SOMETHING NOW?

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT COMES OUT OF HIS REAR, DEMYX?

I DUNNO, MAYBE. MAYBE YOU SHOULD CHECK.

BUT WHAT IF IT'S STUCK?

MAN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE CAN EAT NOW!

You know something, kid?

Nope.

Not that it stops me, but it'd be kinda nice to have a whole day just for pullin' stuff on others.

Uhhh... yesterday? [

] Oh, I might!

If I ever meet her, we'll see.

[ And he listens to the rest of what Lea has to say in silence. Ven comes to the conclusion meanwhile that he doesn't really care if they won't do it again. Someone's dead. And that's not okay with him. At all. ]

Thanks, Lea. Aqua and I will need help finding it. And...

[ A small grin returns to his face. ]

Good to see you, too! We'll need to catch up sometime. Uhh... a little bit.

[ Thinking of that weasel and the makeup job someone left on his face, he scowls mildly. ]

I was asleep when I got here, so people kinda pulled pranks on me.

Edited 2012-04-05 05:05 (UTC)

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Thirty-Seventh Flare - Video - The More You Know

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