Zelos Wilder (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
chosen_gigolo) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
caughtinanetwork2012-04-25 01:22 pm
chosen_gigolo) wrote in caughtinanetwork2012-04-25 01:22 pm
Entry tags:
[Dream - Interactive!]
[Cruxian angels don't need to sleep save for what little the brain requires to keep functioning properly. Zelos is no exception to this rule and schedules one day a week to rest and recharge his mental faculties, having learned the hard way that not doing so meant losing precious control over his words, so Wednesday night finds him tucked away in bed, hair braided to keep it from tangling as he moves in the night.
But of course, as is usual for Vatheon, Tethe'alla's Chosen is not left in peace even to sleep.
The Dreamberry, as the SFCs had turned into this week, clicks on and broadcasts not the usual more angular features of the adult Zelos Wilder, but instead a young boy no more than seven...]
[The scene is one of a well tended rose garden, blossoms in full bloom and reaching for the sun in every sunset shade from the lightest pastel yellow to the deepest, almost purple-y red. The young Zelos sits in the shade of one of the bushes, plucking blades of grass from between his sprawled legs, bored and neglected. Mother had sent him away, Father was away again on "business" (and Zelos, being a bright child, is well aware of what sort of "business" his father attends to, the kind with simpering laughs and too much perfume...), and even Sebastian is too busy with matters of the household to play with him today. So he sits alone in the shade and tells his troubles to the roses...]
That funeral the other day... so I'm the Chosen, now? Why would they commit suicide? It's good, to be special. Everyone has to love you, then.
[The world is an ocean of whiteness and the young Zelos sinks halfway up his shins trying to run through it, leaving little divots behind to slowly be filled up by the falling snow. He spins happily, laughing and sticking his tongue out to catch snowflakes, kicking a spray of powder into the air in front of him and watching it float back down to earth. There's something magical about the world in white this way, something pure, and the young Chosen runs here and there across the garden as if it's an entirely new place, as if he'd never seen it before.
Finally he calms in his running around, whirling to face the figure behind him with a large smile, face flushed pink from exertion and the biting cold.]
Mother! Isn't it wonderful?! Let's make a snowman!
[In the waking world, the adult Zelos tosses in his sheets, unsettled by the depictions of his unconscious mind.]
((ooc: Please specify in the comment subject whether your character is responding in video or interacting with the dream! Hopefully it's clear but just in case... other characters can interact with bitty!Zelos in the first dream as they like. The second is for Zelda to respond to, but other characters are welcome to witness it as it unfolds and say something via SFC/Dreamberry if they so choose. I warn you Zelos might flip his shit about people seeing that though...))
But of course, as is usual for Vatheon, Tethe'alla's Chosen is not left in peace even to sleep.
The Dreamberry, as the SFCs had turned into this week, clicks on and broadcasts not the usual more angular features of the adult Zelos Wilder, but instead a young boy no more than seven...]
[The scene is one of a well tended rose garden, blossoms in full bloom and reaching for the sun in every sunset shade from the lightest pastel yellow to the deepest, almost purple-y red. The young Zelos sits in the shade of one of the bushes, plucking blades of grass from between his sprawled legs, bored and neglected. Mother had sent him away, Father was away again on "business" (and Zelos, being a bright child, is well aware of what sort of "business" his father attends to, the kind with simpering laughs and too much perfume...), and even Sebastian is too busy with matters of the household to play with him today. So he sits alone in the shade and tells his troubles to the roses...]
That funeral the other day... so I'm the Chosen, now? Why would they commit suicide? It's good, to be special. Everyone has to love you, then.
[The world is an ocean of whiteness and the young Zelos sinks halfway up his shins trying to run through it, leaving little divots behind to slowly be filled up by the falling snow. He spins happily, laughing and sticking his tongue out to catch snowflakes, kicking a spray of powder into the air in front of him and watching it float back down to earth. There's something magical about the world in white this way, something pure, and the young Chosen runs here and there across the garden as if it's an entirely new place, as if he'd never seen it before.
Finally he calms in his running around, whirling to face the figure behind him with a large smile, face flushed pink from exertion and the biting cold.]
Mother! Isn't it wonderful?! Let's make a snowman!
[In the waking world, the adult Zelos tosses in his sheets, unsettled by the depictions of his unconscious mind.]
((ooc: Please specify in the comment subject whether your character is responding in video or interacting with the dream! Hopefully it's clear but just in case... other characters can interact with bitty!Zelos in the first dream as they like. The second is for Zelda to respond to, but other characters are welcome to witness it as it unfolds and say something via SFC/Dreamberry if they so choose. I warn you Zelos might flip his shit about people seeing that though...))
voice
A walk in company of a friend is calming, especially after a difficult night.
[That could refer to either of them, really.]
voice
He would just need a little time to pull himself together better first.]
Gimmie a bit and I'll meet you at your base, alright?
voice ->
[ ACTION ]
[And Serph'll be patiently waiting for Zelos outside the base, leaning against the wall directly facing the Lower District. He doesn't mind how long it takes for Zelos to arrive; he doesn't have too much bothering him.]
action
Hands in his pockets he approaches as a leisurely pace, expression his usual careful mask of jocularity, though toned down for whatever it is that's on Serph's mind to obviously be taken with the gravity the other man believes it deserves.]
Hey, Serph.
action
It's good to see you.
[He says it with warmth. He means it; he hasn't spoken with Zelos in a while. Leading the way to the forest, he lets Zelos have the first word.]
action
[The warmth in Serph's voice is so off putting to Zelos at this very moment he nearly turns right around and leaves on the spot. He doesn't, though. He refuses to show it, tense though he is. Serph, while welcoming, isn't the sympathetic out pour of emotion and hugs that Zelda is, so this is much safer. Or so he hopes as he falls into step beside him.]
action
Well enough.
[His experiences since the last time they spoke had been mostly enjoyable, aside from the April Fool's murder. Normally, this would be where he'd return the question, but it seems like a bad time to. He doesn't want to make Zelos answer that question. So he moves on.]
My dream tonight...
[To others, his dream would seem to be rather pleasant, if a bit strange near the end. With him playing a game with friends -- but not all of them -- and a girl who seems really into him, contrasted with the other dreams being broadcast, his is rather benign. But to Serph, not only was the dream confusing, it was also troubling.]
...I wonder if I really killed my comrades in my life before this one.
action
What makes you think you did?
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He keeps his words neutral, matter-of-fact.]
A dying man's words. A man who seemed to know more about us than we did.
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[Folding his arms across his chest, Zelos regards Serph with his full attention despite the uncomfortable nature of the conversation. He can't just leave the guy hanging, not when he's right here talking to him about this, despite the number of uncomfortable feelings it dredges up concerning his own actions towards his party back home.]
Did he hint at any reasons?
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He must have made sense of the memories that came with our demons. But I believe he was also tired of our world of fighting.
[Serph doesn't blame him; he's tired of the Junkyard, too.]
We would only be allowed into the land of peace when all but one leader was killed. That man and I were the last two leaders.
[No prizes for guessing who came out on top.]
He had nothing left to lose by that time.
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[Serph's world sounds... not so nice. And that's saying something coming from Zelos since's not a big fan of his own world or any other either. Wherever you go it seems people are trying to screw each other over. At least in Serph's world it sounds like everyone came to expect it.]
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[Autonomy is new to him, after all. But the Temple is gone, and likely the Junkyard with it. Serph ducks his head slightly, looking a little sheepish. At least, as sheepish as one can look when they're as expressionless as Serph.]
Sorry.
[For dumping one of his worries on Zelos. But he looks directly at Zelos for his next words.]
Sometimes it's easier to speak of concerns to a friend who lacks a shared past.
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[He sees what you're trying to do here Serph. He sees that look. He knows you must have seen his dream, that you're trying to get him to open up about it and he's no having any of it. Zelos is not an open person, least of all about his mother. It's bad enough Zelda violated the dream in the first place, tried to change things, but it had only made him feel worse, to think it could have been like that, that it wasn't his fault..
But it was. All he does is make the lives of others unhappy, but he's selfish enough that he can't make himself break away. It's a vicious cycle. Better to keep it locked away, not talk about it at all, pretend it doesn't exist.]
You can, though. I mean, you're doing that here in Vatheon, right?
no subject
We all can.
[Because Vatheon offers a new set of opportunities. Sure, some of the perks of his home world are gone, but it also means some of the baggage of his home world are gone, too. Still, he's not surprised when Zelos doesn't take the implied offer, and Serph's not about to push him farther. However... if Zelos will allow it, he'll place a hand on his shoulder.]
If you ever need someone to listen, I am here.
[Serph doesn't expect Zelos to take his offer immediately, but it's a reminder that the offer is there. Serph will repeat it again and again if he needs to. Maybe one day, the words will stick.]
no subject
[He gives Serph a jovial smile and a wink, keeping his discomfort staunchly buried under that happy mask that's served him so well all these years. Let's get the conversation off him, shall we?]
Really though, if it's kill or be killed, what choice did you have?
no subject
He looks away.]
We could have overthrown the Temple.
[The same way Zelos and his friends had overthrown their bogus religion. Serph and his Tribe had eventually broken into the Temple... but by then, it was too late for Lupa, too late for Jinana, too late for all the other comrades they lost. When the Temple barred them from Nirvana, that was when Serph finally snapped and ripped through everyone who stood in his way.
He shakes his head, turning his attention back to Zelos. His voice is still calm and even, despite everything.]
It doesn't matter now.
[He knows wishing they had forcibly entered the Temple earlier would be foolish; they wouldn't have been strong enough then. They still wouldn't have been able to save anyone.]
no subject
[A shadow passes over Zelos's face. He disagrees. It does matter, everything always matters, somehow. Thoughts and experience are what makes up a person so every event, every road traveled or road not, makes you who you are.]
It does, though. I mean, knowing that, it makes you look more carefully at situations now, right?
no subject
We draw strength from our experiences.
[At least, that's how he sees it. But he'll clarify his earlier statement.]
It's best I don't dwell on what could have been. My Tribe and I... we can only move forward.
[They don't have any world to go back to, as far as he knows.]
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[The corner of Zelos's mouth quirks up in a small but rueful smile at that. He never would have agreed before. His past had always been a burden, something to drain his strength rather than bolster it, and he still feels that way quite a bit. Like he's too heavy to move, that everything which had gone before weighs him down, holds him back. He'd expected to simply watch the others walk into that bright future without him.
But Lloyd had dragged him into the sun too.
Some people may draw strength from experiences, but others draw it from the simple knowledge that someone cares for them.
Maybe several someones. He'd been too hard on Zelda, he should apologize, but... well, he can't quite bring himself to do that for now. Strength and forgiveness aside, an old wound had been wrenched open with that dream and he wasn't eager to face Zelda and have to try to explain.
What if it had been like that? What if those words had changed, how would his life be different now...?]
...sometimes it's difficult to get away from what 'could have been', though.
no subject
There are no better options in the past for his Tribe.
There is only the future.
... Nevertheless, he nods.]
It is easier when the present is kept in mind.
[They have friends.]
no subject
[With a short grumble, Zelos scratches the back of his head and then stretches prodigiously. What's done is done and yeah it's probably shaped him in a certain way, but that's living, isn't it? Either way, it makes him uncomfortable to think on too much. Let's change the subject!]
So how's the garden going?
no subject
It's doing well.
[The peach seeds have finally sprouted, the rose bush is well taken care of, the mug plants have grown quite a lot... They really need to make that garden bed soon.]
I would like to plant an olive tree.
[For Gale.]
I haven't decided whether to grow it from a seed or a sapling.
[He tilts his head in Zelos' direction, an indication he wants Zelos' opinion on this.]
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I don't know much about olives or anything but if you want the fruit sooner I think a sapling would be faster, right?
[Gardening is so much a safer topic, and besides that he kind of likes that he has this special little subject of conversation with Serph. Mentoring in something innocuous like this is kind of nice and gives him a little boost in self esteem.]
no subject
Olive branches are significant to a comrade who arrived.
[He doesn't elaborate on why; it's a reminder of yet another comrade they've killed. Where Jinana had taught them the meaning of comrades, Lupa had peeled back the illusive veil of the Junkyard. His death was not wasted.
He's never seen an olive tree before, though. No plants in the Junkyard, after all.]
The fruit is less important to us.
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