caughtinanetwork | video;

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[Well, so much for feeling better finally.

Ioder looks a bit worried when he comes up on the network this evening. He's fidgeting, tugging at little strands of blonde below his ear and looking for all the world like an anxious child waiting for news of something.]

Ah... just... in case anyone is looking for her, my cousin Estellise seems to have left. Her name is no longer on the residency list and I can't get through to her voice mail.

[He forces a smile, though, as if trying to convince himself of something that he's struggling to believe is true.]

But... I'm sure it's just temporary. Yuri came back, after all.

[There's a little more fidgeting, and the forced smile quickly fades. He hesitates, but after a moment he reaches forward and turns the feed off]

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[And with luck, he'll never witness Dhaos even more violently upset than he is now.]

For your sake, I hope you do not truly understand...

[Though some part of him is happy when he finds someone who truly understands part of his pain, a greater part of him is saddened by it.]

[Luck doesn't seem to be on their side lately.

Though the comment gets a bit of a grimace from Ioder. He's not entirely sure about sharing something publicly, so he hesitates, then puts up a filter.

This seems to be happening a lot with the two of them.]

Back home... while Estellise was traveling with Yuri and the rest of Brave Vesperia... she was kidnapped. The Commandant at the time, Alexei, more or less used her power as a weapon.

She was rescued, of course... there was no way Yuri was going to stand idly by while that happened. But... it hurt me to know that my cousin was in such pain - pain caused by some one I had trusted for years - and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

[Though Dhaos does not respond, he gives Ioder a long look filled with a sadness that makes him look far older than he appears. He looks as if he wants to say something, but is unsure where to begin, knowing only that he wants to share something equally as painful, something worth having put the filter up. It was only fair.]

[The look is something he can't avoid, and he feels a tightness in his chest that's hard to ignore. He doesn't cry - he won't let himself, but he does swallow hard before admitting something that he hasn't told anyone else.]

No matter how many attempts on my life there have been, and will be in my future, I fear for her far more than I fear for myself. She can handle herself in battle better than I could ever hope to, but she has a power I do not and people will always find ways to exploit that.

Especially in our world, where the very face of how we have lived for centuries is changing.

...

[If he is to be trusted with information so precious, Dhaos feels he cannot allow himself any less than sharing something he too had not shared with anyone. Not even Zelda had heard this part of his story...]

...Long ago, I was prince regent of a country on the world known as Derris-Kharlan. One day, a devastating war broke out between two of the other kingdoms. I was...so foolish for not stepping in until one side had fallen, for the final act of the fallen kingdom was to fire a great and terrible weapon that destroyed the planet's source of magic. And without magic...my world began to die.

Against my wishes, my entire council and the woman I loved so dearly sacrificed their own mana to give me the power to traverse time and space, all for a chance to save our beloved homeworld...

[Though his face remains utterly devoid of expression, there are tears he doesn't seem to notice streaming from his eyes.]

...Just like our world, my people die if ever we run out of mana...

[So Ioder wasn't the only once-prince in Vatheon. Not that he doubted there were others like him around, it's just a tiny bit surprising to hear it from Dhaos.

But that's not nearly as shocking as the story, or the fact that Dhaos is weeping openly - even if silently - in front of him.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Ioder is quietly grateful he thought to put a filter up in the first place.

He doesn't really know what to say to that, and "I'm sorry" seems so painfully hollow and insincere. But he can't stop himself, and it comes out in a choked mutter.]

I'm so sorry, Dhaos...

...Don't be. It's my fault for not intervening earlier in the war. If I had just tried harder to stop the fighting, none of those hundred and fifty thousand, soldier and civilian alike, would have died. My council... my Karion would still be alive... My Derris-Kharlan would not be slowly withering away to nothing...

[For the first time in months, he feels the full weight of his guilt crushing him. He feels so stupid for it; why should a monster such as himself be allowed to feel any happiness when he had failed everyone? He wants to drop the SFC, curl into a ball, and try to disappear, but that would be unfair to Ioder.]

[Ioder stares for a few seconds, mouth working but words seeming momentarily caught in his throat.

Eventually he manages to work out something, though his voice comes out shaky and uncertain even as he tries to reassure Dhaos.]

You couldn't... know something of that magnitude was going to happen...

Edited 2012-09-30 08:25 (UTC)

[Dhaos' only response to that is a wordless sob.]

[Ioder doesn't know what else to say. What can you say to something like that? It's heartbreaking on a level Ioder can't even imagine. Yes there have been losses in his life, even during his reign, but nothing so unbelievably devastating.

He always knew there was something deeper hidden in the sadness that Dhaos couldn't always hide in his eyes, but he never imagined...

His heart was breaking for him, because he simply couldn't feel anything less than that right then.

When he finds his voice again, it's cracking and strained, and the tears he had been holding back earlier have started to fall.]

... where are you?

[He can't leave Dhaos like that.]

...H-home... [Dhaos isn't really thinking when he answers; it's simply an automatic response to a question. Still, it raises some hope that perhaps there is some small part of him that does not believe that he is completely undeserving of happiness.]

[And Ioder really doesn't want him to be alone. Still, he's polite enough, even in his own upset, to at least ask.]

... can... I come over? If that's... if that's alright with you...

[He hesitates for a moment, warring between the urge to hang up and not bother Ioder with his failures, and the urge allow the young emperor to comfort him in order to make the younger man feel better. Finally, he manages a nod. It's not for his sake; really it's not. It's all to give his friend a piece of mind.

The small sobs have stopped for the moment, settling into the occasional hiccup instead. The tears continue to flow fairly steadily.]

[Which is, of course, the exact opposite of how Ioder sees it. His friend is hurting - has been hurting for who knows how long - and even if he can't make it all go away he at least wants to do something.

Even if that something is as simple as physically being near him.]

I will... be there shortly.

[He hangs up, putting on a jacket with trembling hands, barely taking enough time to compose himself before leaving the house. The tears have stopped for now, but his face is still red and he continues to sniffle as he walks.

His feet move quickly - not quite running but walking faster than he normally would. Thankfully, even with the lack of times he's been to where Dhaos lives, he doesn't get lost, and soon enough he's at the door knocking.

As soon as Dhaos opens the door for him, he'll find the tiny emperor flung at him in a hug, face buried in his chest and arms around him tight.]

[It takes a few minutes after Ioder hangs up to compose himself enough to leave his room. He would rather that nobody asks him any further questions. Granted, he's sure Zelos would leave him be, but Zelda would be sure to ask so many more questions than he's really ready to deal with at the moment.

It's less than a minute after he finally emerges that he finds himself in the front entryway with an armful of crying emperor. He stands there awkwardly for a moment before he has the presence of mind to close the door. It is only another moment or two before his own tears start up again.]

[He just wanted to repeat "I'm sorry" over and over again, but he knew that wasn't going to help at all. Granted he didn't know what he could do to help, he just... wanted to be there for Dhaos.

Eventually, though, a single "I'm sorry" did escape in a muffled mutter, mostly because he couldn't really think of anything else say, and because he hadn't intended to make the tears start all over again.]

[Dhaos doesn't respond, although he does bury his face in Ioder's hair and sob. He cries for all those that had been lost in the great tragedy, for those friends he had lost on Aselia, for Karion, for Derris-Kharlan... For everyone, he finally is able to properly grieve.]

[As much as his own heart was breaking, Ioder knew Dhoas needed it, probably more than Ioder ever would. There had been people lost in his own life time, but never on the level Dhaos had faced, and never as close to him as the ones in the princes' life had been.

So he remained quiet, even as his own tears continued to fall, simply letting the two of them cry in the entry way without saying a word.

At least until he started to feel a bit of a headache starting behind his eyes.]

... m... maybe we should move somewhere else... ?

[He sniffles a little, finally managing to calm down. Dhaos releases Ioder from the hug.]

Y-yes, I suppose we've occupied the hallway long enough... My room is this way.

[With that, he turns and slowly makes his way down the hall and through the living room until they finally reach his room. As it's a little lacking in chairs (aside from the large beanbag he'd discovered in a shop a while back and had taken a shine to), Dhaos sits on the edge of the bed, politely waiting for Ioder to take a seat.]

[There was a weird passing thought, one that Ioder couldn't place the cause of, to grab his Dhaos' hand as he followed. He didn't, and he dismissed the thought quickly, but the fact that it had occurred to him at all lingered in the back of his mind anyway.

He follows quietly, keeping his attention on Dhaos as he walks, and taking the seat next to him on the bed. He's silent for a short time before finally asking softly]

... do you... feel any better... ?

[Does he feel better...? After a moment of thought, Dhaos is surprised to conclude that the answer is "yes."]

...Somewhat.

[He offers Ioder a small smile.]

...Thank you.

[Ioder returns the smile, though it's weak. He fidgets, not really liking the silence even if it is better than crying.]

... I remember you sang to me once, when I was upset...

Yes...?

[Dhaos tilts his head to the side a little, curious as to where Ioder was going with this.]

... my voice isn't as pleasant as yours, but... I wouldn't mind trying to return the favor. If you're alright with that, I mean...

Edited 2012-10-03 23:29 (UTC)

...I would like that.

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