[one] video;

[omniphobe]

[ The video flips on, but it's obvious by the look on Crona's face- and the shoddy camerawork- that they don't exactly know what they are doing. The droopy-eyed teen purses their lips and furrows their brow, but not before a small, humanoid growth sprouts from their back, flailing about like its butt is on fire. ]

Crona! What the hell are you doing, you idiot?! Give me that!

No, Ragnarok, stop--

[ The tiny figure swings its tiny fists at the device, but not before pommeling the lilac-haired teen upside the head. ]

Shut up and give me that! You don't even know how to use it--

Neither do you!

You know what it's like being stuck with an idiot like you?! Like being stuck with a turd that won't flush!

That doesn't even make any sense. Besides, I was here first!

[ Crona whines, pushing back at Ragnarok, who is currently trying to pull and smash their face into various shapes. They finally manage to secure the device and keep it out of reach of the tiny Ragnarok. ]

Ugh, fine! But this is all your fault, you know! I know it is. And now we're stuck in this stupid, weird fishbowl under the ocean, soaking wet and with no idea how we got here and no idea how to get back! And I'm hungry!

I know! But it's not my fault. I-

[ They both notice a small, flashing light on the device, and realize it's already recording what was supposed to be an S.O.S. ]

See?! See?! It's been recording this entire time! Who knows who's looking at your ugly mug right now?! And they saw you whining and making such a fool of yourself, too! Gupipipipipi!

[ Crona squeaks. ]

What?! No! I don't want to be on the internet, I don't know how to deal with being an internet celebrity!

Comments

Video;

[rubber_pistol]

Shii Shii Shii! This weird person on my Mystery Starfish has a really bad haircut!

Video;

[omniphobe]

[ Ragnarok busts out into a fit of laughter. ]

Gupipipi! You hear that, Crona? Your hair is dumb! Just like your face!

N... No! That's too much dumb!

Video;

[rubber_pistol]

Woah! Hey, stupid-hair! Are you gonna eat that lizard!?

Video;

[omniphobe]

WHAT! I'm no lizard! I'm the great Demon Sword Ragnaro--

[ Crona reaches back and shoves at the other's face, effectively silencing him. ]

He's not a lizard. He's my weapon! You can't eat him, because he's a part of me, and so to eat him you'd have to eat me!

Video;

[rubber_pistol]

Shii Shii Shii, that's gross! So, you're an ugly lizard and a mop-head on top of it?

[This will never make sense to anyone but him.] How weird!

Video;

[omniphobe]

[ To be fair, Luffy's probably the only one who can understand Crona's unique brand of weirdness. ]

Well, yes, I guess, but the technical terms is Weapon and Meister!

[ Crona's not going to correct him at all, because Ragnarok is pretty gross and ugly and Crona themself is indeed a mop-head. ]

Video;

[rubber_pistol]

[Such educated tomfoolery will not be accepted in this department.

The spider-web ridden department that has not seen use since opening day.]

...Weaponized Mustard?

Video;

[omniphobe]

No! Stop it, don't you listen? Weapon and Meister! If you talk about it like it's food, then--

[ SUDDENLY, RAGNAROK. ]

HEY! YOU! ASSHOLE IN THE HAT! Do you have any food?!

Video;

[rubber_pistol]

[SUDDEN DEVELOPMENT OF ENEMIES]

[Oh, and suddenly Crona doesn't matter. THAT LIZARD BASTARD]

I'M NOT SHARING! I'LL KEEP EVERYTHING TO MYSELF!

Video;

[omniphobe]

[ That's fine. Crona will just be over here... squished at the bottom of the video frame... doing their best impression of a deadcat. ]

Wow, you're a little bitch! Don't you know sharing is caring?!

Video;

[rubber_pistol]

Bastard! Food shouldn't be asking me where more of it is!

[Crona was no longer a main character in anyone's eyes.]

Video;

[omniphobe]

[ R.I.P., sweet prince princess Crona. ]

I'M NOT FOOD! OR A LIZARD! I'M THE GREAT DEMON SWORD RAGNAROK, YOU MENTAL MIDGET!