caughtinanetwork

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[video]

That's much better, but...

[So says a certain young man dressed in stark monochrome, dark hair interrupted by three parallel lines of white running along only one side of his head, as he regards what appears to be a colorful ball -- the sort of toy meant for felines to caper after, once catnip has been placed inside.

Residents of a certain villa may recognize their foyer.

It's looking significantly tidier, or rather like someone had artfully arranged but one side of it, and proceeded to arrange the other side in a spookily precise mirror image. Even various cat toys found scattered around the premises have been doled out to each corner of the foyer in a bilaterally symmetrical fashion.

Someone even went through the trouble of dusting and sweeping. It veritably sparkles. Death the Kid's hair is a little disheveled, in the way of one who had little choice but to let damp hair dry as it would.

Indeed, the young grim reaper had stood there in the plaza since yesterday afternoon waiting to drip-dry, unable to abide by the thought of moving around while his wet clothes insisted on sticking to him, horrifyingly askew. He has standards.]

What do I do? It's almost perfect, but I can't simply place this in one corner.

[This is sort of stressing him out.]

I'll just have to acquire another that matches this precisely! Residents of this house! Where is the nearest market?

[This, while addressing the starfish communicator held in the other hand, until the reaper's golden eyes dart a brief, distressed glance at his own creased (and still uncomfortably damp) suit.]

...No, I should first change into something suitable. But I can't just leave this unfinished!

[Ahh, he can't decide, what should he do? WHAT SHOULD HE DO??? At last, he decides to stow the catnip ball away, and black, crackling tendrils of skull-capped shadow spirits away the toy out of sight.]

First things first--where can I launder and dry my clothing? Don't delay in supplying in answer, this is essential, I'm filthy.

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Hmm.

[Although there's approximately two seconds during which Kid wears the sort of expression better suited to one who has just eaten something that has gone slightly bad, he's quick to assume his former sobriety.

It's for the best. Even if he finds extremely distasteful the idea of being totally ignorant as to the condition and whereabouts of his matching Weapons, it's probably better that the Thompson sisters weren't trapped here with the rest of them.]

And all that time, the two of you have been by yourselves? By a manner of speaking, that is.

[Without the familiar faces associated with their unique homes.]

Oh, no. No, I was one of the people who left too. Back home, I couldn't remember a thing about Vatheon. None of the stuff that happened or people from other worlds that I had met Then suddenly I find myself here again and come to learn that though I had only been back home for a few hours from my perspective, an entire year had passed here.

[Fucking time shenanigans.]

Time doesn't quite...sync up right sometimes when it comes to this place and other universes. It has happened in the reverse too: people leave for a couple of days but entire years pass for them back home. Sometimes people remember being here and sometimes they don't, it's all very confusing but you get used to it.

[Mostly because you really have no say in the matter.]

[That would go a long way in forcing people to adapt. It also tended to breed resentment, however. Not a tactic Kid approves of.]

I see. That supports other observations I've heard alluded to, as well.

[No continuity. The only way to be sure another's experiences meshed with what your own expectations were amounted to a few mutually shared points of reference.

...How sloppy.]

I'm beginning to think that flawless sphere we're encased in is about the only thing not gone terribly, horribly wrong in this place. How do you stand it?

Well when the alternative is a going to a world created by a video game to avoid the meteor apocalypse, where shit constantly hits the fan in the worst ways imaginable and either you or the people closest to you die every time you turn around...you get used to it pretty quick.

[Let him tell you about how great it is not to have to worry about being stabbed every time you turn your back.]

Plus it helps that time shenanigans are pretty much the norm where I come from. My best bro is a time traveler, we are pretty much used to this kind of shit.

[Hey. Hey John. Kid leans towards him, wearing an expression of utmost scrutiny.]

Really?

[Meteoric apocalypse? Time travel? That sounds more like the "plot" of some ridiculous comic book meant for attention spans as abbreviated as Black☆Star's. It's not as if he has a reason to mistrust John, either, but he seems like a frivolous boy.

...So thinks the guy who frivolously wastes hours tidying up other people's foyers.]

Yes, really.

[IS THIS THE FACE OF A LIAR, KID? IS IT?]

Why would I lie about something like that?

[But it might be the face of a braggart!]

Nothing. Time travel is just a little fanciful, that's all.

[He raises a finger, but to preserve his personal symmetry, does so on each hand.]

Far-fetched as it may seem, your nonchalance about everything else lends you credibility.

[John puffs out his cheeks a little.]

He could show you himself if he were here...

[Goddammit, Strider.]

But I swear I am not lying about this. Not even pranking you or otherwise pulling your leg. There are a bnch of other people here who can back me up on this.

Of course it's not a prank. I'd have seen through it easily.

[Is that an unintentionally delivered challenge? Might just be.]

I'll reserve judgment for the time being, because it's possible your senses were merely fooled. Still, if such a thing actually existed, there are certain things I'd give almost anything to do with such a power.

Is that so? Hehehe.

[We'll just see about that.]

[Watch out, Kid. There will probably be a bucket of water over your bedroom door tomorrow morning or something equally ridiculous. John will have to give it some thought.]

Pretty sure I wasn't being fooled though, I mean it would have to be a grand-scale illusion or something if that were the case. Whenever Dave finally shows up, I will make a point to have him show you that time travel is entirely possible. Just you wait.

[Challenge accepted.

One might suppose waking up dangled from an ankle by a looming grim reaper standing on a flying skateboard a few hundred feet from the ground might be more distressing if the victim couldn't just do the Windy Thing, but when it comes to raising the ante, Kid never holds back.

This should be good.]

Then, if your friend has the misfortune of being stuck here with the rest of us, I look forward to having your claim proven.

[He will be sure to keep the Windy Thing a secret then. Or at least he would if he were capable of hearing narration. We'll see how it goes, I suppose. But yes, it is bound to be good.]

Good. For now though, you might want to go throw your clothes in the wash. Where have you even been that you managed to get so... disheveled?

[Fuck the narrator. When is he ever worth listening to?

Visibly wounded by John's comment, Kid clasps his head with both hands, distress promptly etched on his face.]

I did the best I could, but I'm a dreadful sight, aren't I? A drowned rat, not even presentable to a pen of swine! I'm ashamed, I'm so disgusted with myself, I'll never amount to anything!

...I should apologize with my life and just die.

Uh...I think you will be fine. They're just clothes, after all. It's an easy fix and definitely not something worth dying over.

[Kid, you need some magic jammies. Some magic, auto-cleaning, grow-as-you-do, warpdrobe jammies. They are basically the best thing in the world.]

It's no good, if I can't even manage being drenched in sea water, how could I possibly follow in my father's footsteps? If he hears of this, surely he'd disown me!

[He'll get it out of his system eventually, John. Liiiiike, right around when he finally registers the words 'easy fix'.]

You're right. It shouldn't be too difficult to find somewhere to launder these, after all, this is a house.

[A huge one.]

Somehow I doubt your dad would disown you over something as silly as that. We are under the ocean, after all. Sea water is pretty much impossible to avoid upon entry.

[And if he did, then wow the Grim Reaper is kind of a huge dick.]

Yes, indeed it is. And it just so happens to have a laundry room. On this floor, in fact, if I remember correctly.

[It's pretty much the only common-area room he's never set foot in.]

I wouldn't blame him, I would disown me, looking like this--

[Seriously, get it together.

And anyway, Lord Death is kind of a ridiculously hilarious derp these days. When he isn't, you know, being an unmitigated badass of a god.]

This floor?

[THERE'S HOPE YET!]

Then I'll look for it. I can't thank you enough.

Pshh, it's nothing. I would show you where it is myself but I never really go in there and the layout of this place has changed since the first time I was here. So...I'm not exactly 100% sure where it is now.

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oops account expired in the middle of this tag :T

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