caughtinanetwork | [video]

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[video]

[The screen shows a very young troll with her face obscured by the hood of Terezi's red dragon cape. Seeing as tiny Terezi doesn't exactly know what she's doing, the image itself is rather crooked.]

RAWR. I AM A DRAGON.

And the dragon demands that she be shown back to her hive immediately!

[Cower in fear of this terrible beast.]

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[The most terrible and fierce beast!

The teen pirate leaned close to the screen.]

Aren't ya the scary little thing. [Grinning.] Can't show you to your hive but would offerings of trinkets or food be enough to appease you?

[What is this WHAT IS THIS...]

...You're pink.

[A little gray face peeks out from under the hood. Never mind offerings. This creature is a strange not-troll thing.]

[Rolling up his sleeves to show the color is EVERY WHERE] I'm more partial to being called peach, but yeah I am. You're one of them trolls, right? Don't think I've seen you before.

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[Oh sorry, what was the reaction you were looking for?

Because--]

RAAAAAWR! I'M A LION!

You don't tell the lion what to do!

Dragons are stronger than lions!

I will eat you.

Not if you can't catch me, dragon lady!

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Oh no!

[Sufferer cowers in fear over his SFC.]

Don't hurt me, mighty dragon!

[ADULT TROLL. D:]

GRRR RAWR. You should run away before I eat you!

[Friendliest adult troll!]

Don't eat me, please!

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I am a furocious purrbeast! I don't know where your hive is, but purrhaps I can lead you to someplace for a snack!!

[Or she could lead her somewhere to try and eat her.]

I'm not afraid of purrbeasts!

Of course you're not! Dragons aren't afraid of anything! But purrhaps we can hunt together, right?

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OooooOOoo!! [John wiggles his fingers above his head. He is clearly terrifying and clearly undead because this is what scary ghosts do, don't you know?]

I am a spooky ghost! You can't tell me what to do! Besides, dragons live in caves, duh! Everyone knows that. Bees live in hives!!

[lern2animal facts, okay kid?]

You're not a ghost! I can't see through you! [Duh!]

And I meant cave. Cave is what I meant.

[John puffs his cheeks out and folds his arms over his chest.]

Well I don't see you breathing any fire, Miss Dragon.

If you meant cave, why did you say hive?

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Neigh.

Uh, says the hoofbeast. But- you're not really a dragon, and I'm not really a hoofbeast, so this is kind of silly...

[How do you have fun with other kids, Bittyleer just doesn't know.]

I am too a dragon! Don't you see my great big snout?

[You have to use your i m a g i n a t i o n.]

I guess...

[A little frown as he stares at his fingers and wiggles them.]

I don't have hooves. A real hoofbeast needs hooves.

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[Hijiri giggles at that.]

What does you hive look like?

It's in a tree.

[This should be enough!]

Oh, so it's a treehouse?

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[You have got to be kidding him. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING HIM.]

Uh... [Wow, so eloquent.]

Oh mighty dragon, please spare me a horrible fate if I help you. [Gonna just play along.] But I can't help you because you have not told me of your location to be helped.

[Another pink thing. But this one has sunglasses. Sunglasses make you cool. Usually.]

Your hair looks fluffy.

[...Not really the answer he wanted, but it's the first thing that comes to mind.]

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[That sure is Terezi. As a kid. Tiny little dragon-caped Terezi who can't set her SFC straight. Karkat knows, in his ~~heart~~ pump biscuit, that he is walking into some kind of awful trap. But still, he must ask:]

Terezi? Please tell me they didn't fuck with your memory too this week.

[He, by contrast, sounds older than he usually does. No scratchy-voiced teen, just a scratchy-voiced adult.]

[EVERYONE KNOWS HER, GOSH. Also, hasn't she already spoken with you? You sound so much grumpier than last time.]

Um... what?

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