03 - some questions [video]

[paladaddy]

[Shiro is nice enough to wait until after all the dreamtroubles to pose this question to the network.]

Just curious, but how many of you here have jobs? A lot of stuff is free, so nobody really has to do anything, but it seems like it'd get boring if there wasn't work to do every day.

[he may or may not be debating doing some real work, after two weeks of being lazy.]

Comments

[oceanbreasts]

...Religion, huh.

[ Not exactly something she ever needed. ]

Pretty heavy stuff right there.

[paladaddy]

It tends to be. But helping people is my life's work, so I don't mind dealing with the heavy stuff. Someone has to.

[Might as well be someone with amazing resilience and a sturdy mind.]

[oceanbreasts]

Gotta have someone to go to now and then, right? I mean, if we didn't, can you imagine the mess that we'd all be in?

[ it's called alpha house ]

[paladaddy]

It's so nice to see one of you young people understanding this. Usually I have to have this talk with my students after bad things happened because they refuse to talk about their problems.

[oceanbreasts]

Oh my god don't even get me started.

[ She knows, hot priest dad. She knows. ]

[paladaddy]

Hah! Okay, I won't then.

But if you ever do need to talk, I'll listen. I've got a lot of experience in the "listen to problems and offer guidance" area.

[oceanbreasts]

...Not gonna lie it'd be pretty nice? I mean I've kinda always been the one all of my friends were like hey Roxy lemme talk to you about this thing that's going wrong with my life and I was just like, sure, friend, lemme listen!

The favor wasn't returned very often.

[ And when it was, the friend didn't believe her. Thanks, Jane. ]

[paladaddy]

Yeah, that tends to be the way of things, especially with teenagers.

[He'll keep it light on the actual religion, too. He's not actually that religious himself, being a priest is just a means to an end for him.]

But it's kind of you, to be that shoulder for your friends.

[oceanbreasts]

One of us has to. I'm pretty much the most put together of the four of us, and that's really saying a lot about the rest of 'em.

[paladaddy]

It just says you matured faster than your friends. Now you have to be the responsible one while the others grow up.

[oceanbreasts]

[ LE SIGN ]

Sure wish they'd hurry the fuck up an' catch up.

[paladaddy]

Patience is a virtue! But while you wait you can join the 'responsible adult' club and sit at the big table.

[oceanbreasts]

[ :( ]

Don't y'all just sit around and talk about the weather and your taxes 'n shit though? 'Cause I gotta say, I'd rather just hang out against the wall if that's the case.

[paladaddy]

Are you kidding? That's boring. Nah, adults usually talk about what stupid shit kids did and tell dirty jokes. Sometimes booze and poker are involved too.

[oceanbreasts]

[ dramatic finger snap ]

Man, and here I am coming off of the binge drinking.

[paladaddy]

Aren't you underage?

[Even if she's mature for her age, she's still too itty to be drinking.]

[oceanbreasts]

Yeah?

[ And? ]

[paladaddy]

[He is tsk tsking her here.]

Such a bad habit for a young lady!

[oceanbreasts]

S'why I'm gettin' out of it! But I was literally completely alone and there were lots of bottles. Kinda not a lot to do but drink.

[paladaddy]

Even if you were alone with the bottles, that's still not a good habit. Surely it must have upset your parents or guardians or whoever.

[oceanbreasts]

Okay, when I say I was literally completely alone, I'm not bein' a dramatic teenager here. I mean I was actually alone. The only people left on the planet were me 'n Dirk and he lived out in the middle of the ocean somewhere.

[paladaddy]

[He pauses there as he considers that. Surely she must be exaggerating, right? What could wipe out all life on Earth and leave only two people alive?

Well, a lot of things, actually. But they're all not very pleasant.]

What happened to your parents?

[Because she had to be born, at the very least, so she has to have parents.]

[oceanbreasts]

See here's the thing... I wasn't really born? I mean, I didn't spend a buncha time in a womb or anything. It gets sorta tricky, when we talk about it, and I don't have a whole grasp on the ectobio stuff myself, but...

Well I guess I'm something like a testube baby. Only I was never a fetus, either. I just sorta popped up one day, all baby-fied.

[paladaddy]

...

That makes no sense whatsoever.

[He's not calling Roxy a liar, exactly. It just sounds so unbelievable that he wonders who has been telling Roxy the facts of life because it sounds like she has a few key details wrong.]

I'd ask how this is possible, but I doubt you remember anything from when you were a baby.

[oceanbreasts]

Yeah there ain't no way in hell. And as I said, I don't really get the ectobiology stuff much. If you find Dirk Strider, he might be able to fill you in more. Or one of the trolls; the younger set of 'em. Kitten--I mean. Karkat. He likes to talk a lot. Ask him some time, I'm sure he'll fill ya in.

[ And then some. ]