caughtinanetwork | 003

[Ever since Bro arrived in Vatheon, he's been impressed by the amount of skilled techies. People are going around building robot dogs like it's no big deal and his younger alternate self was seen beating the shit out of a pretty goddamn amazing strifebot. This is the sort of thing that had always caught his interest when he was younger, even if he never made a real hobby out of it. It still catches his interest now.

So he decides to take the plunge and rekindle that old passion. It's never too late to gain more skills, especially when you know this is kinda your last chance to do so. He's got the perfect project in mind to get him started, too.]

so we got a lotta techies here right? the folks with the l33t skills and way too much free time on their hands. put down your screwdrivers and start reading.

in my world theres legend of a kickass device. born in the dark recesses of a hollywood directors mind and shaped by cheap special effects. it doesnt exist for real but boy howdy do fanboys cream their pants at the prospect of it being a thing. santa still gets like five hundred requests a year for these rad toys and he has to disappoint every single hopeful sap who asks. people have been trying to build this thing for decades but gravitys keeping them down. literally.

its called a hoverboard. not a rocketboard. not a skateboard. definitely not a surfboard. doesnt work over water anyway. its gotta hover like 10 inches above the ground.

but were not on my world anymore and i think the brilliant minds here can make a legit hoverboard. and show me how the fuck youre making the hovering work because ive got nothing.

so what say you?

[...]

p.s. if you use magic to make it hover youre disqualified. were defying laws of nature with science here so wizards need not apply.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Prince... what. Bro can't stop himself from writing an ironic response.]

to his highness gumball,

im tickled pink that youve decided to accept my humble challenge. the results will surely prove to be beneficial for all of us. i hope to see a progress report soon.

sincerely,
the archduke of strider.

Most esteemed archduke,
I have compiled a list of notes based on the estimated size of the hoverboard, the amount of pressure and force required for it to hover (taking into account the weight of the subject on top), the desired speed and the power needed for it to work on water.

power = (air density) · (area swept by the rotor) · (air speed)³ / 2
= (1.2 kg/m³) · (1100 cm²) · (70 m/s)³ / 2
= 23,000 W.

These are just rough notes that I've written in the sand but does that look feasible?

Yours sincerely truly,
Prince Gumball

Edited 2013-05-12 13:27 (UTC)

most revered prince gumball,

the basic principle of your formula looks sound. however one must bear in mind that water vapor reduces the density of air. the air in the bubble is usually very humid. the density also depends on temperature meaning the amount of power needed may change as the seasons do.

furthermore are you implying the hoverboard is gonna be 1100cm² big? thats like the size of a living room wall. were going for compact here. however if the area swept by the rotor is not an indication of the boards size i will offer my apologies for this assumption.

yours most truly sincerely faithfully,
your humble archduke.

Gloriously honored yet humble archduke,
I have not yet had a chance to visit the bubble and test the precise density of the air so any data you have on that would be appreciated.

That was not hoverboard size but the area that the rotor's propulsion winds will cover while it is in flight. I estimate the board's size to be about 30cm by 90cm with two circular power units that push the air down and, assuming they have about a 13 cm radius, I imagine they can create streams that cover a total area of about 1100 cm².

Unfortunately, I lack the necessary supplies and equipment for construction but I have met someone who can most likely help supply what we need if asked nicely and given an appropriately valuable trade. Perhaps a collaboration is in order. Shall I schedule a Collaboration Offering Ritual Party?

Kind regards,
Cordially yours,
Prince Gumball

most royal and esteemed gumball prince,

what with the bubble being out of commission i have no exact data on the air density either. ill look into it the moment were sure theres no more danger of sudden flooding.

a collaboration offering ritual party sounds smashing. i hereby approve this suggestion. please inform me in due time if aforementioned party has a dress code. i wouldnt want to leave the wrong impression on our gracious benefactors.

the most respectful and kindest of all regards,
still an archduke.
now also the baron of cheese whiz.

Archduke of Strider and Newly Appointed Baron of Cheese Whiz,

Congratulations on your new title and promotion! I see that a party is more than in order so that we may also celebrate that. I will send out the invitation to Leo the Demigod for the collaboration aspect and you may invite who you see fit to celebrate raise in status. Typically I appreciate a comfortable yet formal dress code but given our current beach exile, we can let it slide. Casual attire is suitable.

It can be a large party.

So. Very. Large.

Work shall continue as promised on the hoverboard once the Collaboration Party takes place.

Kind and cordial with utmost sincerity,
Your friend,
Prince Gumball of the Candy Kingdom

my new pal the candy man prince,

thanks for your complimentations. i must say the promotion was quite a pleasant surprise. never saw it coming. i just hope im the right man for the job. cheese whiz is a tricky thing to govern.

in any case. large parties are always welcome. everyone should have a good excuse to let loose and celebrate. in fact. we can make it a beach party with umbrella drinks. provided the weathers suitable anyway. if not we may have to book a large community hall.

lets plan for this thing to happen asap. the sooner the collaboration is official the sooner we can get this hoverboard thing going.

warm regards and best wishes covered in chocolate and a miracle or two,
the archduke baron of strider cheese whiz.

Most Esteemed Keeper of Cheesey Spread,

Preparations are in the works, I look forward to celebrating and collaborating and copartying! Don't worry about your new responsibilities, if ruling over cheese is anything like ruling over chocolate sauce, you're in for nothing but a treat! It's all fondu from here! However, if you should find yourself stuck in the melting pot, do not hesitate to ask for help or advice! As cheesy as that sounds.

The revered Prince Bubba Gumball,
Candy Kingdom
Land of Ooo.

most gracious monarch of tasty delight,

color me impressed. youre milking those cheese puns for all theyre worth. way to hog all the dairy jokes to yourself. you sure left me in a sticky situation. now ive got no choice but to flip this around and chew out some bubblegum puns instead. theyre real jawbreakers.

if i ever need ruling guidance ill be sure to seek your profound counsel.

the allmighty and wise archbaron
ruler of cheese whiz
one of those drafty shacks
village on the island
vatheon.

Oh glorious and mighty archbaron of the cheesy cosmos,

I'm sure you will chew-se the right ones!

Cheers!

King of Kandy,
The Sugary Sovereign of Sweet,
Prince Gumball of the Candy Kingdom
On top of a rock.

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