caughtinanetwork | [Video] In which Smoker tries to cook but Sanji takes over

[Here's a rare face of the almost hermit of a marine. He's smoking as much as ever, two cigars at a time, and he appears to be in a kitchen making... ice cream?]

So I overdid my recipe and I have a ton extra ingredients. And I don't want to waste it, so does anyone want some ice cream? If you have the recipe I'll make a different flavor. [If you think this is strange, it's called tsundere. Also it's about to get stranger.]

[Because Sanji chooses that exact moment to wander into the kitchen, also smoking, though he's only got one cigarette dangling at the edge of his mouth. He's absently scratching the back of his head and sounds almost bored when he speaks.]

Oi, shitty cigar man, think I'm gonna make sushi for lunch, you want anythi—

[He stops suddenly, seeing the mess in ~~Smoker's~~ HIS kitchen (and if there's not really a mess, well, there's shit out and some kinda food being made and it's not by Sanji's hands, ergo...mess), and his entire demeanor changes in 0.2 seconds.]

The hell are you doing?!

[Smoker looks incredibly annoyed and points to the ice cream supplies.] Cooking. In my kitchen. [A stubborn arm fold. Aw no, shit's about to get real.]

[Sanji just snorts, because your kitchen? Oh Smoker.] Tch, stopped being yours the second I moved in. [He stomps over, eyeing the ingredients.] Ice cream? [Then he spots the SFC, and promptly shoots Smoker an incredulous look.]

Are you recording yourself making ice cream? What, starting some kinda shitty cooking program?

Oi, who the hell said you could move in? [Smoker's distracted with flushing again though, and he shakes his head, mumbling.] No, I just made too much.... Shut up! [And with that he storms out. Defeated by his own tsun.]

[Raises an eyebrow as he watches him go, mostly just kind of amused.] That idiot... [Checks out the ingredients again, and you know, there really is a lot left. And Smoker just left it all out. Sanji's not about to let anything go to waste, and hey, the shitty starfish is still recording, right?

So he gets all up in the thing's camera, grinning like a moron.]

Good afternoon, beautiful ladies of Vatheon~! Seems I've got all the supplies here for ice cream sundaes! [Clasps his hands together up by his face.] Or perhaps you'd all like to come over for a romantic candlelight dinner first?? [SMOLDERING LOOK.] We can have dessert later~

[But that look doesn't last long, because the idea of any women coming over sets Sanji off twirling around, spewing hearts and babbling randomness like "MELLORINE, MEEEELLORINE~!" annnd that's too much for even the SFC to deal with, so the video feed thankfully cuts off!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Being a seaman is pretty messy, you know. I've seen plenty in my time.

[Let it all sink in Sanji.]

So how many ladies are saying they're going to stop by then?

[Nope, that's just gonna go riiiight over his head at first.]

It ain't that messy, I'd know. You're looking at another one.

[How many ladies? Um. ...Sanji lights up another smoke, buying some time before answering.]

Er, well. None. Yet! But they will!

[See this is why you don't get any ladies.]

You must clean up after yourself.

[He's going to pull out a cigarette of his own and steal the flame himself.]

We'll see about that, I guess.

[;__;]

Of course! [Hair flip~] I pride myself on my cleanliness. [Right down to being the only guy on his crew who bathes every day.] Especially as a chef, whatever I create goes straight into someone else's mouth, so I can't let things get dirty.

Anyway, messiness would offend the ladies and then they really wouldn't come.

[Don't even try that.]

Well yeah, you gotta be clean to cook. Really, you could kill someone if you aren't.

[He clears his throat.]

So what's the excuse why none are over today?

[Almost offended.]

My cooking would never kill someone!

Anyway, there's no shitty excuse. Actually, Tifa-san said she would come over!

[So nyah. Gives Grit a bright grin, and might be a little smug.]

Because you'd admit you killed someone with your cooking?

[There's no escape for you.]

Wow. One girl. What did you hafta do?

I'd own up to it, yeah! But it would never happen!

And nothing, I only had to be my usual charming self and invite her over~

[Pause.]

[Scowls.]

...Actually Smoker asked her first, but I was getting there!

[Grumble grumble.]

Never say never.

[He smirks.]

I'm sure, I'm sure. So really, your number is 0.

......For now.

For now. Let me know if that ever changes.

[Video] In which Smoker tries to cook but Sanji takes over

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