caughtinanetwork | [Video] In which Smoker tries to cook but Sanji takes over

[Here's a rare face of the almost hermit of a marine. He's smoking as much as ever, two cigars at a time, and he appears to be in a kitchen making... ice cream?]

So I overdid my recipe and I have a ton extra ingredients. And I don't want to waste it, so does anyone want some ice cream? If you have the recipe I'll make a different flavor. [If you think this is strange, it's called tsundere. Also it's about to get stranger.]

[Because Sanji chooses that exact moment to wander into the kitchen, also smoking, though he's only got one cigarette dangling at the edge of his mouth. He's absently scratching the back of his head and sounds almost bored when he speaks.]

Oi, shitty cigar man, think I'm gonna make sushi for lunch, you want anythi—

[He stops suddenly, seeing the mess in ~~Smoker's~~ HIS kitchen (and if there's not really a mess, well, there's shit out and some kinda food being made and it's not by Sanji's hands, ergo...mess), and his entire demeanor changes in 0.2 seconds.]

The hell are you doing?!

[Smoker looks incredibly annoyed and points to the ice cream supplies.] Cooking. In my kitchen. [A stubborn arm fold. Aw no, shit's about to get real.]

[Sanji just snorts, because your kitchen? Oh Smoker.] Tch, stopped being yours the second I moved in. [He stomps over, eyeing the ingredients.] Ice cream? [Then he spots the SFC, and promptly shoots Smoker an incredulous look.]

Are you recording yourself making ice cream? What, starting some kinda shitty cooking program?

Oi, who the hell said you could move in? [Smoker's distracted with flushing again though, and he shakes his head, mumbling.] No, I just made too much.... Shut up! [And with that he storms out. Defeated by his own tsun.]

[Raises an eyebrow as he watches him go, mostly just kind of amused.] That idiot... [Checks out the ingredients again, and you know, there really is a lot left. And Smoker just left it all out. Sanji's not about to let anything go to waste, and hey, the shitty starfish is still recording, right?

So he gets all up in the thing's camera, grinning like a moron.]

Good afternoon, beautiful ladies of Vatheon~! Seems I've got all the supplies here for ice cream sundaes! [Clasps his hands together up by his face.] Or perhaps you'd all like to come over for a romantic candlelight dinner first?? [SMOLDERING LOOK.] We can have dessert later~

[But that look doesn't last long, because the idea of any women coming over sets Sanji off twirling around, spewing hearts and babbling randomness like "MELLORINE, MEEEELLORINE~!" annnd that's too much for even the SFC to deal with, so the video feed thankfully cuts off!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Are you kidding? [After two years he was the one most waiting with bated breath for you idiots to come back D:<]

[No wait, Sanji probably hasn't figured out he might not see his crew for the next two years. Hm.]

[Quick thinking go!]

I asked Kuzan to give me the G-5 base just to be close enough to catch you brats. [Amused snort and leans back on the couch.] I'm pretty sure the only reason they haven't kicked me out yet is that I'm the only one with a good chance at catching your crew.

You should be surprised it's just taking me this long.

[Yeah, he hasn't even entertained that as a possibility yet.]

[Shifts on the couch, leaning back as well and bringing up one knee so that he can drape his arm over it.]

I ain't surprised. Shit, if I can do haki then I'm sure everyone else has gotten a lot stronger, too.

[Takes a long drag of his cigarette, smirking at nothing in particular.]

We must have run into a lot of powerful assholes out there.

And just what do you think I did to get these scars? Ballet? [Grump grump grump.]

[Barks out a laugh.]

Ha, maybe! How the hell should I know what you do in your free time?

I stack rocks.

[... No seriously.]

[Stares.]

...What, for real?

What's with that face?

Stacking rocks is good. It practices balance.

[No one understands him. ;;]

Yeah, I'll stick with my kata routine and yoga, thanks.

Tch. Yoga... I'll take strength over flexibility, thanks.

[Oh ho ho, don't be dissing the yoga, Smoker.]

You mentioned practicing balance! Yoga helps with that. And with flexibility, yeah, and with strength! It strengthens your core muscles, you know.

[Arm fold and an expression like you're an idiot.]

Do I look like I have trouble with that?

[Monster man says: "Please. As if."]

[Rolls his eyes.]

No, of course not. [Not...that he was looking or anything.] But if you're anything like that shitty swordsman then you train a fucking lot. Adding new things to your repertoire never hurts.

Hn.

It's really good for balance? [Not that he's interested.... Shh.]

Hell yes.

[Hops off the couch and moves to the center of the room, then promptly folds his body into this convoluted pose, because...he can. AND WHY NOT.]

Bet you can't do this.

[Video] In which Smoker tries to cook but Sanji takes over

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