caughtinanetwork | [Video] In which Smoker tries to cook but Sanji takes over

[Here's a rare face of the almost hermit of a marine. He's smoking as much as ever, two cigars at a time, and he appears to be in a kitchen making... ice cream?]

So I overdid my recipe and I have a ton extra ingredients. And I don't want to waste it, so does anyone want some ice cream? If you have the recipe I'll make a different flavor. [If you think this is strange, it's called tsundere. Also it's about to get stranger.]

[Because Sanji chooses that exact moment to wander into the kitchen, also smoking, though he's only got one cigarette dangling at the edge of his mouth. He's absently scratching the back of his head and sounds almost bored when he speaks.]

Oi, shitty cigar man, think I'm gonna make sushi for lunch, you want anythi—

[He stops suddenly, seeing the mess in ~~Smoker's~~ HIS kitchen (and if there's not really a mess, well, there's shit out and some kinda food being made and it's not by Sanji's hands, ergo...mess), and his entire demeanor changes in 0.2 seconds.]

The hell are you doing?!

[Smoker looks incredibly annoyed and points to the ice cream supplies.] Cooking. In my kitchen. [A stubborn arm fold. Aw no, shit's about to get real.]

[Sanji just snorts, because your kitchen? Oh Smoker.] Tch, stopped being yours the second I moved in. [He stomps over, eyeing the ingredients.] Ice cream? [Then he spots the SFC, and promptly shoots Smoker an incredulous look.]

Are you recording yourself making ice cream? What, starting some kinda shitty cooking program?

Oi, who the hell said you could move in? [Smoker's distracted with flushing again though, and he shakes his head, mumbling.] No, I just made too much.... Shut up! [And with that he storms out. Defeated by his own tsun.]

[Raises an eyebrow as he watches him go, mostly just kind of amused.] That idiot... [Checks out the ingredients again, and you know, there really is a lot left. And Smoker just left it all out. Sanji's not about to let anything go to waste, and hey, the shitty starfish is still recording, right?

So he gets all up in the thing's camera, grinning like a moron.]

Good afternoon, beautiful ladies of Vatheon~! Seems I've got all the supplies here for ice cream sundaes! [Clasps his hands together up by his face.] Or perhaps you'd all like to come over for a romantic candlelight dinner first?? [SMOLDERING LOOK.] We can have dessert later~

[But that look doesn't last long, because the idea of any women coming over sets Sanji off twirling around, spewing hearts and babbling randomness like "MELLORINE, MEEEELLORINE~!" annnd that's too much for even the SFC to deal with, so the video feed thankfully cuts off!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...

[STUBBORN.]

I know him well enough... I know he'd throw my whole crew in jail if he had the chance!

[We'll ignore that this hasn't happened yet and he's actually let them escape a couple times.]

If that's how you feel, then why decide to live with him?

I—

[Oh, you're good. Sanji scowls.]

...Well, what the hell can he do to me here? Different circumstances and all. [Pause.] He was the only shitty familiar thing around at the time.

[Quickly lights up a smoke just to give his hands something to do. Honestly, he's not sure WHY he's still here. He probably should've found his own place by now.]

He doesn't seem so bad to me. You could try being civil.

I'm being civil!

[Only kind of kicking a dude's ass is Sanji being civil when it comes to guys. And he hasn't even done that yet!]

I was gonna make him lunch!

[Well, the lunch offer was a good start, but...]

And then?

And then...what?

[Honestly at a total loss.]

It's not like I haven't been including him when I make dinner and shit, too...

[Because Sanji would never NOT cook for somebody.]

[Sigh.]

I guess it's not really my business.

[Don't worry, Tifa, he's just hopeless! And generally has a completely different attitude towards men than he does women. >.>]

[He grins at her.]

You're very nice to be worrying about him, though! [Even swoons a little.] Ahh, to have a lady worry about me like that~!

[But then he remembers!]

Oh, did I hear you say you're coming over??

[The different attitudes are what really baffle her. She'll just... ignore the swooning.]

Mmhm. No reason to let all that ice cream go to waste.

[Yeah, HE'S A MYSTERY.]

The ice cream...isn't bad. [Says so grudgingly.] You'll like it. Can I make you anything else, though? Maybe you'd like something for lunch?

[Since he didn't make the ice cream. ;__;]

If you're making something anyway, sure.

I was going to make sushi. Do you like sushi?

There's sushi that isn't raw fish, right?

Of course! Quite a lot of sushi isn't made with raw fish, actually, or it's at least not the main ingredient. I'll make a variety!

Sounds good.

Alright! I'll get started then! Looking forward to meeting you in person, Tifa-san!

[Then he twirls off away from the camera into the kitchen, where he'll make the sushi and probably like ten other things in case the sushi isn't to her liking.]

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[Video] In which Smoker tries to cook but Sanji takes over

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