caughtinanetwork | [Video] In which Smoker tries to cook but Sanji takes over

[Here's a rare face of the almost hermit of a marine. He's smoking as much as ever, two cigars at a time, and he appears to be in a kitchen making... ice cream?]

So I overdid my recipe and I have a ton extra ingredients. And I don't want to waste it, so does anyone want some ice cream? If you have the recipe I'll make a different flavor. [If you think this is strange, it's called tsundere. Also it's about to get stranger.]

[Because Sanji chooses that exact moment to wander into the kitchen, also smoking, though he's only got one cigarette dangling at the edge of his mouth. He's absently scratching the back of his head and sounds almost bored when he speaks.]

Oi, shitty cigar man, think I'm gonna make sushi for lunch, you want anythi—

[He stops suddenly, seeing the mess in ~~Smoker's~~ HIS kitchen (and if there's not really a mess, well, there's shit out and some kinda food being made and it's not by Sanji's hands, ergo...mess), and his entire demeanor changes in 0.2 seconds.]

The hell are you doing?!

[Smoker looks incredibly annoyed and points to the ice cream supplies.] Cooking. In my kitchen. [A stubborn arm fold. Aw no, shit's about to get real.]

[Sanji just snorts, because your kitchen? Oh Smoker.] Tch, stopped being yours the second I moved in. [He stomps over, eyeing the ingredients.] Ice cream? [Then he spots the SFC, and promptly shoots Smoker an incredulous look.]

Are you recording yourself making ice cream? What, starting some kinda shitty cooking program?

Oi, who the hell said you could move in? [Smoker's distracted with flushing again though, and he shakes his head, mumbling.] No, I just made too much.... Shut up! [And with that he storms out. Defeated by his own tsun.]

[Raises an eyebrow as he watches him go, mostly just kind of amused.] That idiot... [Checks out the ingredients again, and you know, there really is a lot left. And Smoker just left it all out. Sanji's not about to let anything go to waste, and hey, the shitty starfish is still recording, right?

So he gets all up in the thing's camera, grinning like a moron.]

Good afternoon, beautiful ladies of Vatheon~! Seems I've got all the supplies here for ice cream sundaes! [Clasps his hands together up by his face.] Or perhaps you'd all like to come over for a romantic candlelight dinner first?? [SMOLDERING LOOK.] We can have dessert later~

[But that look doesn't last long, because the idea of any women coming over sets Sanji off twirling around, spewing hearts and babbling randomness like "MELLORINE, MEEEELLORINE~!" annnd that's too much for even the SFC to deal with, so the video feed thankfully cuts off!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He's more just...falsely confident. Heh.]

Our similarity? [Gives Marcello the stink eye.] He's here? This brother of yours? I want to meet him.

I cannot understand why you wish to make his acquaintance, but I hardly need to introduce you. He just answered your correspondence. And what a reply it is...

[His brother is clearly a very stupid man.]

Was just curious what he had to offer.

[Chewing on his cigarette in irritation, but he manages a smug smirk after a second.]

Doesn't look like all that much.

[A silence to remember recent events, and he gives a small chuckle.]

I feel that warning appearances can be deceptive would be wrong on my part. Regardless, my brother has caused many an... outrage. Surely you don't intend to pay him attention? I will warn that he enjoys playing to the gallery.

Not gonna pay him any more attention than he deserves, don't worry.

[He's curious now, though.]

What do you mean, he's caused many an outrage?

[He's always happy to educate people.]

No doubt you are aware of how that brother of mine enjoys starting a good fight. I am making it known that you are not the first man he has chosen to bug with his behaviour. He has instigated many a brawl at the local pub back home. And with the attitude he seems determined to keep, I have no doubt he has started such scenes here.

I will not tell you of other incidents he caused. But I will tell you that the responsibility for disciplining them used to be mine. Of course I was hardly appreciated.

[Snorts.]

Nah, he doesn't seem like the type who'd enjoy having a babysitter. Ah well, sometimes idiots just can't help themselves. Their brains are just hardwired to start shit with others whenever they can.

[Says this like he isn't one of those idiots himself when, in fact, he pretty much is.]

Yes, I agree! I do hope you are a responsible sort of fellow. I have often heard reports of the sort who rise to his bait.

[If you bite it, Sanji? He will enjoy the show before he stops it.]

Ha, please! As if I'd let anything he says get to me!

[Lies. LIES.]

Of course. But he is an adept of getting underneath people's skin, wouldn't you agree?

[Yeah, he's listening to your conversation with his brother.]

[Video] In which Smoker tries to cook but Sanji takes over

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