caughtinanetwork | [Video] In which Smoker tries to cook but Sanji takes over

[Here's a rare face of the almost hermit of a marine. He's smoking as much as ever, two cigars at a time, and he appears to be in a kitchen making... ice cream?]

So I overdid my recipe and I have a ton extra ingredients. And I don't want to waste it, so does anyone want some ice cream? If you have the recipe I'll make a different flavor. [If you think this is strange, it's called tsundere. Also it's about to get stranger.]

[Because Sanji chooses that exact moment to wander into the kitchen, also smoking, though he's only got one cigarette dangling at the edge of his mouth. He's absently scratching the back of his head and sounds almost bored when he speaks.]

Oi, shitty cigar man, think I'm gonna make sushi for lunch, you want anythi—

[He stops suddenly, seeing the mess in ~~Smoker's~~ HIS kitchen (and if there's not really a mess, well, there's shit out and some kinda food being made and it's not by Sanji's hands, ergo...mess), and his entire demeanor changes in 0.2 seconds.]

The hell are you doing?!

[Smoker looks incredibly annoyed and points to the ice cream supplies.] Cooking. In my kitchen. [A stubborn arm fold. Aw no, shit's about to get real.]

[Sanji just snorts, because your kitchen? Oh Smoker.] Tch, stopped being yours the second I moved in. [He stomps over, eyeing the ingredients.] Ice cream? [Then he spots the SFC, and promptly shoots Smoker an incredulous look.]

Are you recording yourself making ice cream? What, starting some kinda shitty cooking program?

Oi, who the hell said you could move in? [Smoker's distracted with flushing again though, and he shakes his head, mumbling.] No, I just made too much.... Shut up! [And with that he storms out. Defeated by his own tsun.]

[Raises an eyebrow as he watches him go, mostly just kind of amused.] That idiot... [Checks out the ingredients again, and you know, there really is a lot left. And Smoker just left it all out. Sanji's not about to let anything go to waste, and hey, the shitty starfish is still recording, right?

So he gets all up in the thing's camera, grinning like a moron.]

Good afternoon, beautiful ladies of Vatheon~! Seems I've got all the supplies here for ice cream sundaes! [Clasps his hands together up by his face.] Or perhaps you'd all like to come over for a romantic candlelight dinner first?? [SMOLDERING LOOK.] We can have dessert later~

[But that look doesn't last long, because the idea of any women coming over sets Sanji off twirling around, spewing hearts and babbling randomness like "MELLORINE, MEEEELLORINE~!" annnd that's too much for even the SFC to deal with, so the video feed thankfully cuts off!]

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[Usually Angelo ignores idiotic things like this. He was used to Zelos in the bubble, but this? No, this is beyond being ignored. Who did this blonde guy think he was? He has to make his thoughts known.]

You should work on those dreadful pick up lines of yours, my blonde haired friend. Hearing them from your mouth makes me want to cringe.

[What?! Who's this asshole cutting into Sanji's fantasies of women draping themselves all over him to thank him for the lovely dinner he created. He turns an instantly annoyed look to the SFC.]

Che, they're not for you to hear anyway! What the hell do I care if you're cringing?!

[He's the guy Marcello told you about, Sanji. The Trunks look-alike with a British accent.]

You should care as your piercing voice is hard to ignore over the network. It's so loud I could be on a high mountain and still hear the words spewing from your lips. So who wouldn't be cringing from that fact alone? Other than the horrid noise in the first place.

Edited 2013-07-27 23:39 (UTC)

[Oh snap.]

...A high mountain—what the fuck?! You shitty bastard, get over here and say that to my face so I can kick your ass in return!

[He grins.]

Now why would I do that? Well, if you truly want me to humiliate you in front of everyone then I will. Since your face would be down in the dirt before you tried making the first move on me.

[INCOHERENT SOUND OF RAGE GOES HERE.]

THE HELL IT WOULD, ASSHOLE, I'D HAVE MY FOOT DOWN YOUR THROAT SO FAST—

[Whoa, calm down now, why is he getting worked up over this random nobody? Sanji cuts himself off and takes a deep breath, though his eyebrow is still twitching in an irritated fashion, and lights up a cigarette. When he looks at his SFC again, he's smirking.]

But hey, maybe you're all bark and no bite. If you're not man enough to face me, then I imagine you're not man enough in any other shitty department either. Especially with the ladies.

[Oh he did not just say that. However, Angelo isn't the type to let such petty words bother him. So he continues to grin.]

Oh no, I assure you I can bite. I was simply trying to spare you humiliation. But if you want to fight me, then we can fight. I do warn you that you truly don't know what type of man you're dealing with however. So don't feel too bad about losing to an opponent you never had a chance to beat.

Edited 2013-07-28 07:33 (UTC)

[Sanji is very much not concerned, so he just waves off Angelo's words, his smirk also still in place.]

Back at ya, it'd be a really fucking poor idea to underestimate me. What's your fighting style?

[His fighting style? He doesn't exactly have a set one.]

Swords, bows, fisticuffs, staves, and magic.

[Dang, boy's got a lot going on. Sanji refuses to be impressed, though, because swords, geez, he just can't get away from those.]

Tch, another shit-for-brains swordsman. [...Plus other stuff, but whatever.] Do you use one? Or more?

[Fighting with two swords? What is this nonsense?]

I'm hardly an incompetent swordsman, thank you. And furthermore, why would I fight with more than one? That sounds ridiculous and impractical.

...

[Snorts, then just suddenly bursts out laughing.]

Ha, there's a guy on my crew who fights with three! [Shrugs.] I had to ask.

[A guy who fights with three swords... That sounds ridiculous. He also doesn't see what's so funny.]

I fail to see what's so amusing. But whatever. You never told me your fighting style.

[Props his cheek up with his hand, amused even more now if only because Angelo isn't.]

Just that you think it's soooo ridiculous and impractical, meanwhile my idiot nakama is out to be the greatest swordsman in the world and he fights with a fucking sword in his mouth like that's somehow totally normal. [Laughs again.] What a moron.

Anyway, I kick. [Absently takes a drag from his smoke and exhales lazily into the air.] Hard. I use martial arts basically, but without my hands.

[He's going to ignore being called a moron, if Sanji is calling him one which he might be.]

I see. [He also heard you talking to his brother.] You'd be wise not to listen to my brother by the way. He's what you'd call a snake in the grass. Of course he puts on airs that he's so innocent when he's not.

[Nah, he was calling his crew mate a moron, but he wouldn't have corrected Angelo had he said anything.]

Yeah, that guy, what did he mean by saying you caused outrages or some shit?

[Well could have fooled him, man.]

He's exaggerating and holding things over my head from home.

Exaggerating, huh. Heh, I can't tell if you two get along or not.

Not particularly.

That's a shame.

You wouldn't say that if you lived in our world. But of course that's none of your business to know what goes on between us.

[Shrugs, looking unconcerned.]

Fair enough. I don't have any brothers or anything so I don't know how that usually goes. I was just thinking of my captain and his brother back home.

[He doesn't like being compared to people and answers.]

I'm sure your captain and his brother are far different from my brother and I. So I suggest you keep those comparisons to yourself.

Geez, touchy much? They're different, alright.

[Mutters.] Neither of them has a stick permanently wedged up their ass.

[ video ]

beauchevalier - 2013-07-31 01:17 (UTC) - Expand

serving_love - 2013-07-31 02:19 (UTC) - Expand

beauchevalier - 2013-07-31 02:46 (UTC) - Expand

[Video] In which Smoker tries to cook but Sanji takes over

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