3 ♐ Text/Action ♐ Hermit-mode, activtate!

[aim_exorable]

[Text]

D --> I apologize to anyone who had to deal with me while I was under the influence of the curse
D --> I was not myself
D --> Normally I am not so
D --> Outgoing

[Translation: "Normally I do not try to get into the metaphorical pants of everyone I interact with. Oh good lord, strike me down now please."]

D --> I do hope you can all forgive me for the foolishness which occurred

[Action at the Highblood Hive]

[Hey, Gamzee, Equius. Guess who didn't come down to make breakfast? Guess who hasn't even come out of his room? Guess who even locked Dural out so that there is now a very aggravated lusus sitting outside of it, her feathers puffed up?]

[Daddy is not feeling well, kids. He knows you can take care of yourselves.]

Comments

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ Quiet, right. He could do quiet. He had spent entire sweeps with the only sound to ever come out of him being the hoarse screams torn from his throat when the battleship shifted into a high power state. And he could focus on a mathematical paradox. An infinite surface area enclosing a finite volume. Breathe. Focus.

He doesn't do it entirely consciously, but he curls in even closer as long moments pass.

And it occurs to him... ]

I don't want thith...

[aim_exorable]

[The way the other curls in doesn't bother Darkleer at all. It's almost reassuring, in fact, that he can still do something for another, for this troll, even if it's just... being here.]

[But it still won't be enough, he knows.]

Want what?

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ It was soothing to have someone that understood him, at least somewhat, that was also there to support him. Even if it was to provide the Empire a more functional piece of equipment when it required it, he didn't feel quite so alone. But that only did so much, and none of it changed the fact that he existed to serve. ]

To live.

[ It's a terrible thing to say, and not because life was something precious or how it illustrated the pain he was experiencing.

No, because he had promised her. ]

[aim_exorable]

...I am sorry.

If I could, I would do whatever possible to solve that dilemma. But in this place...

[It wouldn't last. Gently, he leans in to press their foreheads together, and by doing so, accidentally but quite gently knocks their horns together. The action, while familiar and almost comforting, makes him pause.]

hippielovejack!

[withoutasign]

[Signless has wandered up on the roof, looking for Psii. His best bro has been distant lately, even for him, and he worries. He worries a lot about Psii.]

[It's a shock when he sees him on the roof with Darkleer, in a very pale kind of position, but that doesn't bother him in itself. He's confident in what he has with Psii, there's no jealousy here. It's their body language that gets to him, the way they both look so broken and needy and depressed. And by now, Signless cares about Darkleer, whether the blueblood wants him to or not, and he can't stand seeing two trolls he cares about feeling this way.]

[So he does the most logical thing; he runs over and piles into Darkleer's sides, putting his arms around both of them.]

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ That... was utterly unexpected.

But Signless suddenly appearing, wrapping his arms around them both, this is not exactly an unwelcome thing. As self-conscious as he might be, he's hurting far too much to be concerned about his association with Darkleer as his engineer being confirmed. As long as he wasn't trying to stop this, it would be alright, wouldn't it?

The Helmsman makes a soft, almost pained sound as he just lets himself go limp in the awkward embrace.

For a moment, he could be safe here. ]

THIRD BASE, SIGNLESS. *THIRD BASE*.

[aim_exorable]

[This is not the reality he wants right now.]

[Normally, he would be more aware of someone suddenly appearing onto the roof as well, but Darkleer has been quite preoccupied with the Helmsman. For someone to suddenly press against his side and for that someone to be him.]

[Darkleer freezes up. Completely.]

who says he has to stop being on third base? Signless doesn't care

[withoutasign]

[Hey, he's not getting pushed away! Awesome!]

[Signless just burrows closer against both of them, one arm around Psii's shoulders and the other wrapped around the back of Darkleer's neck, and he drops his head down, bumping into both of their's. He takes care, though, to keep his horns away from Darkleer's. Doesn't want to give the wrong impression.]

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ Okay, he might be caught in the depths of his overwhelming despair, but he can tell what that this is bad. Darkleer is tense, immobile, and it's enough to drag him out of his self-loathing to just... gently start to nudge Signless off of Darkleer with the faint hum and push of psionics.

But if he can get away with it, he'll stay just as he is in the relative security of their embrace. ]

[aim_exorable]

[To understand what that vague crackle of psionics is doing is enough to make Darkleer so incredibly grateful to the yellowblood. It had been bad enough when the other had been a mouse and insisted on fiddling with his hair. To have a fully-grown Signless touching him, hugging him...]

[It's only a very impressive amount of self restraint that kept him from throwing the other off of him in surprise, and that would have no doubt ended in a few broken bones.]

[Not sure what to say, he starts to shift awkwardly away, only to pause.]

[He has positively no idea what to do right now.]

[withoutasign]

[Oh, all right.]

[Signless agreeably shifts away from Darkleer, letting the psionics manipulate him. He settles against Psii, moving his arm off Darkleer and instead wrapping it around his oldest friend.]

It's okay, Psii... whatever happened, we can help you fix it.

[p2iioniicii2t]

None can. Not here.

[ He takes a slow, shuddering breath. ]

[aim_exorable]

[There are things he could say here but they are all trapped on his tongue in Signless' presence. Wordlessly, he just lets his fingers stay brushed against the Helmsman's.]

[withoutasign]

No, Psii, no.

[Signless tilts his head, trying to look into Psii's face. By now, he's almost crawled into Darkleer's lap himself, but he's completely unaware of that fact.]

Tell us, let us help you.

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ Darkleer, help him out here, he can't communicate what exactly is going wrong. With Signless here, so ready to fix everything, he's incapable of explaining himself. ]

I cannot.

[aim_exorable]

[That, more than anything, that bright helplessness burning against the Helmsman, that spurs Darkleer into action. Reaching over, he tugs him closer and clears his throat.]

Press further, and you'll have a troll broken.

[withoutasign]

Huh?

[Signless glances over at Darkleer, and it's like he's forgotten he was there. Then he looks back and forth, from the hulking blueblood to his cringing best friend, and damn, it sure is pale up here, isn't it? Whoops.]

My apologies.

[He gives Psii one last quick squeeze, then makes to stand up.]

I'll leave you two to it, then.

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ That wasn't what he'd meant either! The Helmsman makes a wordless sound of protest, though not a particularly strong one. He does not want to alienate his dearest friend because of his engineering needs (involving the engineer he is very distinctly attached to) on top of everything else, in fact, he's pretty sure that's the absolute last thing he wants out of this.

He has no idea what he's even doing anymore, and it is immensely confusing.

It would probably help if he had any idea he'd somehow entered a moirallegiance. ]

[aim_exorable]

[That would probably help both of them if they realized how pale this was.]

[Aware of that miniscule noise, Darkleer just looks even more uncomfortable and kind of... holds the Helmsman out towards Signless.]

Just... give him some tea and do not press on the matter.

[Then, because really, why even bother to hide their meetings anymore when this is the situation in?]

I will make a call in the morning to check on your status, Helmsman.

last tag then I'm going to bed

[withoutasign]

[Part of Signless wants to gather up Psii from Darkleer--he kind of looks like a kitten dangling from its mother's mouth right now--and take him back to their hive, but he isn't what Psii really needs right now, and he realizes that. So instead of taking him off Darkleer's hands, both figuratively and literally, he leans in and whispers in Psii's ear.]

It's okay, I'm not mad or upset. You two keep being diamonds up here, and I'll be in the hive when you come home.

[Then he steps back and looks at Darkleer.]

No, you should check his status now. You're better at that than I am.

[He looks at Psii again.]

I'll see you later, all right?

[Then he turns and heads towards the stairs leading off the roof.]

gosh signless, use spoiler alerts /cackles

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ And the Helmsman just... kind of dangles there as he watches Signless retreat, almost more confused than he is upset. Given how much emotional pain the Condesce has been putting him through, that says a lot. ]

What?

[aim_exorable]

What?

[Carefully, he puts the Helmsman down again and just alternates between looking at him and looking at Signless.]

What did he say?

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ He doesn't want to upset Darkleer either, particularly since Signless makes him so distinctly uncomfortable. Was this an indication that he has done something wrong? That Signless saw that, it must have been. So instead he offers in a very small voice: ]

An encouragement to continue ath we are.

[ He slumps a little, closing his eyes. His head aches--so much more than usual. ]

[aim_exorable]

...Very well.

[Darkleer has a feeling that isn't it at all, but he doesn't press on the matter. Right now, he suspects that besides doing what the Helmsman wished- getting rid of his existence- all he can do is be here for the yellowblood.]

[So, carefully, he sits down again and holds him close once more.]

I will stay here for as long as you want me, Helmsman.

[p2iioniicii2t]

It... ith better to not inconvenienthe yourthelf, thir.

[ But even as he says this, he makes no attempt to leave the comfort of the larger man's embrace. Maybe he could just forget his pain for a moment. ]