caughtinanetwork | 004 ♌ [video]

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004 ♌ [video]

So. Woke up this morning to a couple of things. Good news, I'm back in my own body.

[As is probably obvious to everyone when they see his face, which looks too sad for this post to be about the curse being over.]

Bad news, Percy and Annabeth are both gone. Checked the list and everything.

[He pauses to sigh and looks away from the camera for a moment.]

Gotta remind myself that at least they've got each other this time.

[He reaches his hand out to turn off the SFC, his hand blocking the camera as he says one last thing.]

I just wish them being gone didn't mean they're free-falling into Tartarus.

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[He hmms, then holds silent for a stretch. He knows that worry. He's not one to sugarcoat things, though, so when he finds the words, they aren't what one might expect.]

I'll say this much. Whatever will happen is going to happen whether it's good or bad, whether you want it to or not. It is as beyond your control as the whims of the scientists screwing over our lives, and even further removed so long as you're here. But whatever does happen, even if things turn for the worst and they fail whatever they're trying to do or wind up dead, they can show up here again. Maybe they won't remember, maybe it won't be for a while, if it happens at all, but there is at least a chance you'll see the both of them alive and well regardless of what shit goes down in your world.

[He's trying to help, really.]

[It actually helps more than Leo might like to admit. But at the same time, it doesn't really get rid of his worries.]

I know. But it's not like that really makes things any better. I mean, what if I go back and they wind up dying there before I can say goodbye to them?

[That's what really kills him. Not being able to say goodbye. He wasn't able to with his mom. And during their time here, he did get close to Annabeth and Percy. Mostly Annabeth who came to be like his big sister.]

[Of course it doesn't. Worries are like that. And really?]

If that happens, you will frankly have to deal with it. Sometimes people do die and there's jack shit you can do about it, no matter how much you wish there was otherwise. Look at me: half my team died! And it sucks sweaty hoofbeast globesack, but it still happened.

For what it's worth, I hope that doesn't happen to them, but you can't change it if it does. That's the risk of being big dumb heroes about shit.

[Leo rolls his eyes. He tries to keep any other emotions out of it because thinking about people dying means thinking about his mom and how helpless he was to stop that. And really, he shouldn't be thinking about that right now.]

No shit I'll have to deal with it. Just like everything else in life. Doesn't make dealing with it any easier.

[Karkat's expression keeps even, neither sarcastic nor dismissive.]

I didn't say it does, did I? Of course it's not any easier. It never gets easier. If you want me to try and make the prospect better, you're talking to the wrong troll; what I'm doing is laying things out as they are. I'm not going to serve these factoids up like sweet, candied beetles to crunch on when most of this is a pretty rancid load to swallow, but that's because pointless optimism just makes shit worse if it does go bad. It's dishonest, and if legitimately wanted to make you feel bad about things, I would be doing a hell of a lot worse than laying things out straight like this.

[Leo sighs.]

I get the reality of it just fine. Almost too well. Hearing about it now is just making me feel worse.

[He rubs the bridge of his nose a bit.]

Fine. I'll shut my trap and let you be, then.

[He's not even being snippy; it's more honest resignation. He's not helping, so he'll stop trying.]

I'm not saying you should stop talking to me. Just maybe a subject change would be good.

[He looks into the screen a moment, then sighs.]

Then suggest a new subject, if you've got one.

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004 ♌ [video]

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[video] ditto for this one