caughtinanetwork | 007; text;

[And there's one worry gone that's been sitting on his shoulders for a very long time. Dirk fires off a message while he heads back into the house.]

Good to have you back, RL.
We were getting all worried.
You should have seen the fucking fretting that occurred, handkerchiefs and hands were wrung within an inch of their life.
You will be devastated to learn it, I'm sure, but no one spiked shit.
There are no apes, and it's the same year as it was when you conked out.
It's been a month.
Someone showed up who I think you'll want to see.
You probably don't want to check your inbox.
Any other questions?

yes
where are the dicks on my face
im disappoint son

Drawn in invisible ink.
Find yourself a blacklight and enjoy the artful erections painstakingly etched across your visage.
You'll cry from how beautiful they are.

oh good
i was worried you mightve been a clone
replacing the real dstride with a fakey fake mcfakerson

okay really tho ive been awake like almost an hour and im lonely as fuck where is everyone

Where the hell would a clone have come from?
For that matter, why wouldn't a clone of me know the high art that is drawing dicks on an unconscious person's face?
Any clone who doesn't understand this truth isn't worthy of the name Strider.

I've been up on the island.
Last I knew Kanaya was hanging around the place, so she must've stepped out.
You should've seen her, holding vigil at your bedside like some sort of troll Princess Charming.

this is fucking vatheon
are we really gonna start questioning clones showing up
i mean seriously

omfg what a precious babe shell probs come runnin soon

Exact copies, certainly.
The closest thing to a clone I have here is Bro, which means that there's no exact copy.

[Sure, Dirk, you keep telling yourself that.

Prepare yourself to swoon into her arms properly.
You only get one chance at this shit, you can't fuck it up.

shit ive got my swoonometer set to fuckin 11
do u kno how many that is dirk
that is one more than 10
its on a whole nother level
these are shakesperean levels of swooning gettin prepped over here

And less than twelve.
I can still achieve basic math, if you want further proof that the real Dirk Strider has stood up.
You'll get a hundred percent on your swooning exam, with a performance like that.

but see now ur just landing yourself in could be a robot territory
which ive sorta always suspected youll just make it true or not for me

Whoa, there.
Now you're just going to make me cry.
We've had this conversation, RL.

oh no not manly strider tears
i cannot handle those
shh babe itll be ok
rolal wont call you a robot no more

Miraculously, I'm comforted.
You have such a good bedside manner here, Florence Nightengale.

Roxy!
Roxy, you're awake! Roxy!
Where are you?!

[ WELL HOLY FUCKIN SHIT ]

janey
janey omg
omg its janey
guys look over here its crocker in the flesh
janey
janey
sweetie
when did u get here
omg i missed it i could kick myself
im in my room with kanaya

A little over a week ago!
I came and saw you when I got here, but you were sleeping!
And um!
I can give you two some privacy if that's what you would prefer!
We can catch up later!

[It's only polite to offer, right?]

no omg come here now
ive seen her more recently than ive seen u
shell understand
in fact she might appreciate the little break to go put a shirt on or somethin
she was takin a bath when i showed up before u think we were doing anything wonk worthy

Hoo hoo, well, thank you for clarifying, I suppose!
I'll be right there!

[And then, just like she said, she was there. Walking through the doorway and everything.]

Roxy?

[Despite spending so much time in her apartment, Kanaya didn't know right away that her girlfriend had finally awoken. She was in the bath, trying to relax. It had been a very hard month. Two frustrating curses had kept her from her usual vigil over Roxy... and of course, there was Rose. All this was made even worse by just how long Roxy had been asleep. It was all too familiar. Vriska had fallen into a coma in the same manner, and stayed asleep for almost exactly the same length of time. And when it ended, she didn't wake up. She was just gone. Kanaya knew that her previous experience wasn't really a guarantee that the same would happen here, but as Roxy's coma grew closer and closer to the same length as her former matesprits she couldn't help but see it as some sort of looming deadline.]

[So with all the stress she's been under, a nice hot bath sounded like just the thing... until she hears noises coming from the main room. Could it be? Or was she just so hopeful that she's hearing things?]

[More movement from the main room. It's unmistakable. Someone is up and about in there. As much as she hopes it would turn out to be Roxy, some part of Kanaya has gotten paranoid enough to entertain the possibility that it was someone else. Regardless she moves quickly, wrapping in a towel, and grabbing her lipstick just in case before pushing through the door and back into Roxy's apartment. She literally lights up as she sees her girlfriend, her normal glow unintentionally returning from it's dormant grey state.]

Roxy!

[Warning, incoming pretty-much-naked vampire missile on a collision course. Brace for impact.]

[ Oh no litebrite girlfriend is too adorable.

Also mostly naked.

Also here.

Wow which thing is most important here it is a mystery. ]

Kan--

[ ooph and that would be the two of them falling backwards onto the bed from whence Roxy had just risen. ]

--good t'see you too.

[That's what she was doing, that was the plan.]

[She positively giggles as the two of them collapse onto the bed, immediately wrapping her arms around her long absent girlfriend. Kanaya gives her a kiss... though only on the cheek. They're going to have plenty to talk about, and there will be time for something more intense later. Besides, judging from the SFC that she just pulled out from under her and set aside, Roxy's already been up long enough to have informed some people, and that means they'll have visitors soon.]

You've slept through an absolutely horrid month. You have no idea how much I've missed you.

Edited 2013-08-15 21:53 (UTC)

Shh babe I'm awake now we can chatter all about it.

[ Roxy has absolutely no problems with their current positioning. She's mostly just running her hand up and down Kanaya's back, her eyes closed as she enjoys the sweet warmth (and slight dampness) of the body laying on top of her.

Man, she's all super soft. ]

Once we're done getting our cuddle on, of course.

Well then, as I suspect we'll soon be having guests, I suggest we get right on that.

[She pulls Roxy in tighter for a fierce hug, tucking their heads next to each other. Her towel isn't exactly holding position now, but with the two of them so entwined it still doesn't reveal anything.]

God I missed you.

I'd say I missed you too but, y'know. Unconscious. Still I bet there was a part of me that was like y'know what you haven't done? Snuggled the fuck outta your girl.

[ And okay that cheek kiss earlier was cute and all but Roxy's actually going to turn her head enough that she can press a sweet little smooch to Kanaya's lips.

There that's better. ]

Hope shit didn't get too cray while I was gone.

You may not have experienced as much of a snuggle drought as you suspect, though I will certainly say that it's better for all parties involved when we're both awake for it.

[Oh, all right. If she insists on smooches then Kanaya certainly isn't going to complain, though she'd like to get more than a towel on before anybody comes over. Not that she isn't enjoying Roxy's reaction to her state of undress, but she doesn't really want to see anybody else's reaction. It's a struggle though. She's really liking this situation the way it is.]

Shit rather unfortunately managed to get quite cray while you were gone. Some of it remains so, though most of the shit has backed down from cray to merely normal.

Well that's good. Not that some things are still cray but that some of it's at least calmed down a little bit, I mean.

[ mmm girlfrond smooches these are the best smooches. Clearly. They're also the only ones she's getting honest. ]

So, I definitely want to totally monopolize you right now, but I think there are gonna be some people over to say hey any moment and I don't want any of 'em getting a peep at you like this. This is a my eyes only privilege right here and they don't get to steal it so as much as it hurts me to say so, you should probs go at least put a shirt on.

I'm afraid I must agree on all those points, including the reason for misgivings. [SLY WONK]

[Yes, indeed. She's going to have to take at least one more good kiss before she climbs out of the bed, redoing the towel. She's more than willing to bare herself for Roxy, but she can't help but take the opportunity to tease.]

Jane's here again. Rose is as well. There's... a situation regarding her that we should really discuss soon.

[Kanaya's really moved in while Roxy was asleep, bringing in a cabinet for her own clothes. Between it and the room she's borrowed in the closet she actually has a handful of outfits to choose from. First though, she goes for some rather showy underwear. Lots of lace with a few frills, chosen specifically because she knows Roxy's going to be watching. After that she drops the towel altogether, though she doesn't turn back to Roxy until after she disappears into the closet, emerging in a medium length dress. It's typical Kanaya; perfectly tailored, not to formal and not too casual.]

I've actually had time to chat 'em both up a little bit. Rose's told me some... things.

[ Most of the things, actually. It was a very lengthy response that she got from her teen mom daughter.

Roxy's flopped onto her stomach in order to watch Kanaya, her eyes lingering as articles of clothing are pulled on and gosh. It sure does make her want to cancel seeing everyone for some alone time with her ridiculously attractive alien girlfriend.

Kanaya that was just mean. ]

[Mean? Perhaps, but she's also affected in much the same way. Teasing like this just makes it harder for her to go through with getting dressed and waiting for visitors.]

Ah.

Later then I'll provide you with my perspective of the situation.

Oh, I should also mention, I've acquired the equivalent of a human little sister. I met her shortly after you fell asleep. My mother... ancestor, the Dolorosa, adopted her. The Scientists decided to bring a four year old human child here without any of her family.

[A touch of makeup and she's set for company. Until there's any knocks at the door though, she'll rejoin Roxy on the bed.]

Mmk.

[ Oops she's just going to casually drape herself across Kanaya's body. That's better. ]

A four-- well that's some bullshit right there! Super cute that you've got yourself a little sis now though. Would it be weird if I tried to get her to call me Aunt Roxy?

No more strange than calling an alien 'big sis'. I don't know if you'll have much luck though. Yotsuba tends to make her own nicknames for people, and they don't really change. I think she calls Karkat 'Mister Grumpy' or something like that.

Hello, Roxy.
This is Rose, your teen mom-daughter.
The quantity of times I've considered what to say when we first meet is innumerable.
When I first arrived here - the current me, that is, as I've been duly informed that I have lived here in Vatheon before - and found out you were here, I was quite eager to meet you.
I was also inebriated to the point where I would have made a very poor impression on you had you been awake.
Needless to say, I was relieved that you would not have to see me in such a state.
However, I ran into Kanaya and from the point in time where I came from her and I were matesprits.
It's likely clear from that above statements what transpired from my end of things upon our reunion.
Perhaps there is little reason to tell you this, but I thought it would be best to clear the air and get it out of the way so all parties can move on.
Kanaya was very quick to fill me in on your relationship with her.
I wish the both of you the best.
The time it's taken me to come to terms with this is rather longer than I had hoped.
It also involved spending a week literally in her shoes in what could only qualify as the most awkward body swap in the entirety of all history.
The last few days since we returned to our own bodies has been spent in sober reflection.
Too much of the time that transpired between when I first arrived here and when the swap occurred was beleaguered.
Many a night found me drowning my sorrows in a bottle of whatever I was able to obtain from the locals.
I am not proud of those nights.
I have not spoken about them with anyone aside from Kanaya, which only occurred because she awoke to a hangover as a result of the body swap.
For awhile I considered not speaking with you about this either, but I now believe it is imperative that I do.
Life has become a question of which came first; however instead of the chicken and the egg as per the idiom, alcohol and alcoholism are in the spotlight.
Which of us started the other down the road to alcoholism?
Was it your older self that shoved martinis a me and left behind a large stock of alcohol that I spent four months of a doomed timeline drinking out of boredom?
Or was it my older self that set you up with a similar situation?
Are either of us really to blame?
Forgive me, that was more philosophical than I intended.
At this point it is of little consequence given that you've sobered up and I am working on it.
I have not imbibed any alcohol since the night before the body swap.
A week of that had little to do with my own interest in remaining sober and everything to do with the fact that Kanaya had control over my body.
It's a daily struggle and perhaps it would be easier if I were not alone in this endeavor.
While plenty of our peers would be willing to help me overcome this, I think you would be the on who would best understand having dealt with it yourself.
In other words, would you be my sponsor, Roxy?
As for your relationship with Kanaya, I was most sincere about wishing you both the best.
She is not the same Kanaya I spent three years on the meteor with.
None of this is what I had set out to say, or what I thought my first conversation with you would be about.
I could simply hit delete and leave this to rot in the aether.
However, it has been rather cathartic to write this all out.

wow
um
well this is awkward as fuck then isnt it
u started drinking im
really sorry
like legit sorry it sucks absolute donkey balls to be THAT CHICK and i kno that
all too well
i will so help you get over it i mean ive quit twice now
once here and then once when dirk n i went back home for a while
so when i came back the second time at least i was already sober and didnt have to go through it all again
but i mean i can help
surrounding yourself with totes awesome peeps helps a whole bunch
making promises to them n shit
i mean when it was here that first time my xmas present to my bffs was to not drink from xmas to new years
but then
i just kept not drinking
so if i can do it i def think u can too

as for kanaya im
not really sure what to say
maybe sorry for snagging ur space gf i guess
but its sort of hard to be sorry about something like that when im all super happy
then again i guess u can understand that
its also sorta confusing a little since the last time there was a u here u were dating john
so
idk

yeah

I appreciate it.
I've already disposed of the alcohol that I had in my apartment.
Which doesn't make the problem go away, but it does help with keeping the temptation out from under my fingers.

It's not like either you or Kanaya could have known what the future would bring.
Technically, you can't have stolen her from me if she wasn't mine at the time.
There's no need to apologize for that.
I was dating John last time I was here?
Out of curiosity, did John leave and come back after the last time I was here?
I already know that Jade was here while I was the last time as she brought me some things I left behind.

just know that if u ever feel like omg this u kno what would be great right now
a little drinky drink
then you just call ol rolal and shell set u strait

but uh
yeah i think so
like the two of you showed up together
and then left
and then he came back but you werent with him this time
and now here you are again
idk i dont think this one has any recollection of datin you either

LONG ENOUGH THAT I HAD TIME TO GO BACK TO THE METEOR FOR THREE YEARS
WHICH IS TO SAY IT'S THE SAME YEAR HERE AS IT WAS BEFORE YOU FELL ASLEEP.
YOU MISSED A BODY SWAPPING CURSE TOO, WHICH IS PROBABLY FOR THE BETTER.
I'LL LET ERIDAN REACT FOR HIMSELF BUT I'M SURE YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW HE'LL FEEL TO HEAR YOU'RE AWAKE AGAIN.

omg kitten
my favoritest angry grey font how r u
wait
omg i was unconscious and u were gone
at the same time
poor eridan bb i should go leave him a message

... I FORGOT YOU HAD A HABIT OF CALLING ME THAT.
THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME, I AM JUST SOBBING HERE IN GRATITUDE.
BUT YES, AT THE SAME TIME
AND CONSIDERING THE WAY SOME STUFF HAS GONE HE'S PROBABLY GOT ENOUGH FEELINGS TO JAM AT YOU ABOUT A WHILE TO COME.

ur welcome
how could u ever forget kitten tho thats just rude
gosh i gave u that nickname from the bottom of my heart
i see how u really feel now
im cryin here
so many tears
so
many
tears

PARDON ME IF THE NICKNAME YOU PICKED OUT FOR ME GOT LOST AMONG EVERYTHING ELSE WHEN I HAD FIVE AND A HALF YEARS WORTH OF MEMORIES FROM THE METEOR AND VATHEON COMBINED JAMMED TOGETHER IN MY SKULL.
I HAVE HAD ENOUGH TROUBLE SORTING IT ALL OUT AS IT IS.
CAN WE JUST GET BACK ON TOPIC
HOW ARE YOU FEELING NOW THAT YOU'RE AWAKE AGAIN?

So, the foxy blonde awakens. Did Prince (or Princess) Charming awaken you with true love's kiss, or did you come out of your sleep coma on your own? Don't know anything about anyone spiking your drinks, but you were out for a long time.

nah waking kisses dont work here
which sucks dicks i mean wed all wake up p much immediately
tho im sure my princess mightve tried
just in case

hey bab how u doin

Yeah, I figured if they did you would have woken up ages ago.

I'm doing okay. Better than I was a few days ago, anyway.

oh no what happened a few days ago

I'm afraid I can't answer you question because I've never met you before. But, could I recommend some peppermint or ginger tea? I think it might help you feel a little better.

man ur probs right
tea actually sounds pretty gd tasty rn i gotta say
thx for the tip
im roxy btw
roxy lalonde

[ The chat lingo trips him up for a moment and it takes an extra minute or two for him to reply because he had to poke someone for an interpretation. ]

I know a few great tea recipes if you're interested!

And I'm Isaac Morton. It's a pleasure to meet you! Or correspond with you at least.

shit there are recipes for these things
this might be beyond my skill level
i mean i can put bags in hot water but shit

Well most people just buy their tea leaves in a tin anyways, so only a few people use recipes to include herbs and spices on top. My family sells tea though so I've come to enjoy coming up with some of the company's special blends.

I'm not quite sure why you'd be putting bags in hot water though!

[ Sadly he is still a few decade away from the invention of the teabag when he's from. ]

Edited 2013-09-08 02:47 (UTC)

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Ahh, tag jokes that only work with homestucks.

whispers boner into the night

Oh Mr Cage Oh

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these keywords have never been more relevant

My most relevant one was the post before my last. Most of my keywords are terribly uncreative.

song lyrics here so

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this legit took me like 3 minutes to read

you don't want to know how long that one took me to write.

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