caughtinanetwork | [audio] Big Bad World One

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[audio] Big Bad World One

...Vatheon.

[The voice over the feed may be familiar to some, although perhaps they do not know it as being this flat, this devoid of much of any feeling to speak of.]

I am curious: for what reason do you exist? I do not mean in the simple scheme of how you came into being - what drives you? Why do you live instead of contenting yourselves with mere survival? For what purpose do you rise in the morning? Or have you even considered it...?

...I await your answers.

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Why do you need a reason? Isn't the fact that you exist reason enough by itself?

...For some, it is not. Some hold their chosen cause as greater than their own lives, and should they be robbed of that cause, have great trouble adjusting.

But it should always be important to live. Even if you lose what you were fighting for, that shouldn't mean there's no reason for your existence.

[There is a long silence. Tempting as it is, it would do no good to once again point out that a dead man, even in a place like this, cannot exactly live as others do. Not when in the back of your mind you always know that the moment this place releases you is the moment you cease to be...]

...Of course. One cannot throw away the life that others put so much effort into bringing this far.

[Lloyd would still be willing to argue with that if Dhaos did voice that comment. Even if he's dead back home, Dhaos's life is precious in this world. He can still make a difference, even if it's only in this place.]

Exactly. [The smile can practically be heard in Lloyd's voice.] But it's more than that. So long as you exist, there's still stuff you can do. Once you're dead and gone, that's it. You can't ever help anyone else or fight for anything else that's important.

Indeed.

[Reincarnation might be possible, but if you do not remember your mission, what would be the point?]

[Inwardly, Lloyd relaxes a little bit. For some reason, the way Dhaos had started off with those questions had unsettled Lloyd a little bit. Maybe it was the flat tone of his voice. But it seems like there's nothing to worry about after all.]

I'm glad you agree.

Hey, I was about to head off and do something. You wanna talk again some other time? Or did you have another question?

To undo a horrible injustice.

To ensure the longevity of a long-lost race.

...Your mission sounds much like one I am unable to complete here.

[...One he has failed, if he cannot escape here alive.]

A-ahem.

[Switch to Video]

*Have Pascal dramatically pointing at the screen.*

SCIENCE!

[For a moment, all he can do is stare at his SFC. That was... a rather more enthusiastic answer than he had been expecting from anyone.]

I... see.

Really, if it's not something like saving the world, what higher purpose can there be, than creating and discovering the great secrets of our verdant world?

Ah... No, I quite agree. I was simply not expecting a response quite so enthusiastic.

[It's knocked him a tad off-kilter, really. Of course, that might be a good thing given his current state of mind.]

Gotta be enthusiastic, right? It takes a lot of energy to do real science!

You have a point. However, take care that your enthusiasm does not blind you to a potential disaster. I have seen great catastrophes occur because the signs have been ignored.

[Actually, he probably would have had a much less depressing life if people had just been more responsible with science.]

Well, yeah. Gotta know when to stop on one path sometimes. I've learned that one the narrowly-averted hard way once or twice.

I don't really know, but... I think that's why I keep living. So I can find my purpose.

...I suppose I was like you in that regard, long ago. It's... hard to recall now.

[Childhood is a very long way away to a centuries old being, after all.]

[He doesn't understand why adults talk like this.]

Are you asking because you can't think like that anymore?

[Probably because most of them have either decided on a purpose or given up on finding one. For people like Dhaos though, it's... a bit more complicated.]

I had one purpose for a very long time. Here I cannot hope to accomplish it... [He's also not going to mention having died to a child.] ...I have a purpose at the moment, but I fear that he will disappear one day.

[It's considerate of him to not bring up his death, although it wouldn't phase Fai as much as the thought used to. Vatheon seemed to have a penchant for bringing in those who had perished in their home worlds, the boy included. And he's no stranger to being afraid that those he loves will leave the bubble... but he knows how much those who left would want him to live and grow to find another purpose.]

I think I understand... I hope you find something here that will work for you.

Because I like doing it. Isn't that enough?

...For some, it is not.

I guess you mean yourself.

I am among that number, yes. A dear friend that has since departed was the same.

Why do you feel like you need more?

For me, it's because there are things I wish to protect.

[For the first time since Ioder went home, Dhaos smiles. It is just slightly, and not for more than a fraction of a second, but he did indeed smile for a moment.]

...You and I are not unalike in that regard.

We are? That's great to know! What is it you wish to protect?

That's some heavy motherfuckin' shit all getting is inhabit on in your brain meats there, dogg.

[Gamzee has never really pondered those questions. He's alive cause he is alive and that is enough. He tries to, though. Tries thinking on that question Dhaos asked: 'why do you wake up?']

I guess a motherfucker usually gets his wake on all being cause there be some powerful harshnasties what get to making hive in my foodsack when it gets to being empty as shit.

[Also, sometimes he has to pee.]

[It takes a moment for Dhaos to figure out the strange dialect this person just spoke in. Slang has never exactly been his strong suit after all.]

I see.

[Some small part of him envies the boy for having what seems to be a rather simple view of life.]

So, what about you, bro? What does all drive a motherfucker to wriggle out from his coon in the morning on your account?

...The dogs need to be cared for, and I suspect my housemate would neglect to eat if I did not insist he join me for breakfast.

[And Duke is far too thin as it is, so it wouldn't do to let him miss meals.]

So you're lookin' out for your bro. That's good. All like lookin' out for your homies is what we was put on this place for doing. You bros best friends?

I find bees to be enjoyable. Tending to their needs is one of my two primary motivations.

[ That's not a weird reason at all, is it? ]

[It's certainly different than the norm, but... it's a good reason, Dhaos thinks. The vast majority of his own life has been dedicated to caring for the needs of his people, so he understands the desire to care for smaller creatures.

...Well, that, and neither time travelers nor sorcerers are exactly known for being particularly normal themselves. Regardless, this answer actually catches his attention as it's different without being exceedingly enthusiastic or requiring a few minutes to understand what was said.]

Oh? Would you care to share more of the merits of bee keeping or your other primary motivation?

Because if I die, then everythin' my dad did for me will mean nothin'. And I ain't okay with that.

I mean I'm gonna die eventually, y'know? But I wanna make sure I do somethin' with the life he gave me before that happens.

[...That's right; he still has to make use of the borrowed time to continue to live for those who had sacrificed themselves so that he would have a chance to save their world... He's just... not ready to meet that expectation yet. Not while the pain of having lost yet another is still so fresh.]

...Some would say that it is a noble sentiment.

Just some?

[There's an odd sort of laugh on the other end. No, Rin knows of those that would have rather he died and Fujimoto lived; or if it had to come to his father dying, that he had taken his own life or allowed himself to be executed after the fact. More than one person, in fact, had actually tried to kill him just to pay for the sins of his real father.

It was a position no teenager should ever have been in, and yet that had become the state of his life in the past year back home.]

Honestly though? I don't give a fuck what other people say. Noble or not, I know I gotta keep movin' forward back home and it's what I'm gonna do if I ever get back there. No one else is gonna make me do otherwise.

That's quite the question to ask a bunch of stranger. But, I might as well give my answer.

I exist to solve the riddles of the universe.

I did not ask with the expectation anyone would answer if they did not wish. Still, I thank you for providing an answer.

[Perhaps if he had not been born royalty he would have answered the same. However, there is not much point pondering a possible reality when it will change nothing of the present.]

You're very welcome~. Now it's my turn to ask a question. Why do you want to know?

Some have others they need to live for and some of us simply have things to do.

[Atrocities to atone for and all that.]

[Attempting atonement has never actually crossed Dhaos mind, although that's probably just because it's a bit pointless for a dead man to attempt atonement.]

Mm. Part of the trouble is that the first has been rendered a moot point, and the second could vanish any day.

All the better reason to be started sooner than later, hm?

[Well, those questions hit pretty close to home.]

do you mean in our own world slash universe or when were outside of it

I suppose it depends on which you consider more relevant in this place.

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