caughtinanetwork

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[The audio feed crackles for a moment, like whoever is going to start speaking has to psyche himself up to do it. Then there's a deep sigh, and...]

Feferi Peixes is no longer in the bubble. I guess... I guess she went home.

[There's another moment of silence, and then the feed cuts out.]

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[Gamzee is not restricted to the boundaries of post formats.]

[When Equius feels those long, thin arms wrap around him, the remains of his composure break down, and he turns into Gamzee's chest, hiding his face and scrunching in on himself.]

She's... she's going back to die...

[Gamzee is not bound by anything!

Gamzee leans down, curling around Equius, pressing his mouth against the top of his head.]

I know, I know, babe. Hey, she'll all come back, aight? You'll see.

But what if she doesn't remember?

[Equius' voice is muffled against Gamzee's chest.]

[Gamzee just tucks him closer, stroking his hands down his back.]

She will. But if she don't, then you gonna just have to make some new fuckin' memories, aight?

[There's really nothing Equius can say to that, and he just curls closer to Gamzee, breathing heavily and gently leaking. Not all the blue that's staining Gamzee's shirt comes from sweat.]

Aight, aight, babe. It's cool. Just let all that shit out. It's chill.

[Gamzee just continues to stroke his back, holding him close, very politely not mentioning that he knows all that dampness is not sweat.]

If you all need some chilling until she gets back, I can try and help you get up at in your wicked zone, you get?

[Equius deeply appreciates Gamzee's discretion on this sensitive matter.]

Thanks.

[He takes a deep, shuddering breath.]

You know what the worst part is? I broke Nepeta's heart not long ago because... because of this...

I know. My sister and I, we got to chatting over this a bit back. But... but you all like did what you fuckin' had to, yeah? Couldn't up and lie to her. That ain't motherfuckin' right.

[Privately Gamzee just kinda thinks Equius should become pale for both of them! Isn't that the perfect solution? Everybody would be happy!]

[That is blasphemy, Gamzee, you can't have two moirails!]

And now, she's hurting, and it's all my fault, and she doesn't have to, and...

[And just going to hide his face in his matesprit's shirt again.]

[Screw you, Zahhak, he feels equally pale for Wataru and Karkat.

Gamzee carefully nudges him back a little sinking down to look him in the, uh, shades.]

If you are still all feeling those pale miracles for our catsis, you gotta get your speak on with her, but if you ain't, you can't all force that sorta fuckin' thing to be. That ain't up and how it works.

[He touches his face, wiping away some blue tear-trails without comment.]

She's strong, yeah? She's gonna hack this. She will.

That's the hard part!

[Nuh uh, not eye-shade contact right now. Equius ducks his head and, for the first time he can remember, puts the brakes on so Gamzee can't move him, no matter how hard he tries.]

I wasn't pale for her anymore, not the way she changed when she was here before me, but this is my Nepeta, the one I remember, and I still care about her and I don't know what to do!

... It's okay to be pale for two people.

[He's not going to try and move him, but he is going to say that. Maybe a little quieter, but it is there. All out in the open. All his deviant opinions.]

... it is?

[That gets Equius' attention, and he looks up at Gamzee.]

You mean... you never stopped being pale for Wataru?

Never. Ain't seeing why I all gotta. If it gets a motherfucker all up in his glad at, who the fuck cares how many brothers he's got his pale on for?

But... what if Wataru comes back? What if he's jealous of Karkat? What if Karkat's jealous of him?

[He doesn't understand how polyamorous moirallegiance works, Gamzee!]

Then that would all be some shit we would deal with if it up and gets it happen on. Can't just fuckin' worry like that, babe.

[Hey, he has seen Karkat and Wataru cuddle. He's sure they could get along like that.]

[That... is something to think about. Equius can't really think of any reason why Nepeta and Feferi wouldn't get along.]

Huh.

[He stays cuddled into Gamzee's chest, but now his silence is more thoughtful and less despairing.]

[Gamzee strokes his back again.]

You just gotta go with where your heart feels right at. No need to think about what things other motherfuckers would say.

[Dang, Gamzee, when did you get so wise?]

[Equius shifts around a bit, enough so that he's looking up at Gamzee from over the tops of his shades.]

But you're not going anywhere, right?

[It is the drugs mostly.]

Nah. I'm staying here forever.

Good.

[Equius burrows back into Gamzee's chest.]

I'm not leaving again either.

Good.

[Gamzee tightens his arms around him, tucking him close against his chest.]

Good.

[cause he sure doesn't want to lose you again, matesprit.]

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