[video]

[upfromthegutter]

Fraggin' pit, you gotta be kiddin' me... [A pair of red, glowing, eye-like shapes set in a copper...well, it sort of looks like a face dim, plates moving down to narrow the shape into slits. This wasn't a human peering out from the screen, but there was something humanoid about it. Like whoever designed it cared more about function than the actual form, and the function was to give others a place to direct their comments, hold a pair of optics, and a mouth.]

[So, yeah. It's a goddamn robot you're looking at.] This is a communicator? What kind of bolthead would design a comm system wit' dis many useless points? I mean pit, even is a newly sparked could tell ya dat dere ain't no point in wastin' metal like dis!

[Pauses, a hand coming up to thoughtfully cup his chin] Unless you was throwin' at somethin'...

[Shrug] Aaaaaanyway, if dis's a communicator, dat means someone's out dere to receive the signal, right? So, to whoever's tunin' in, dis's Rattrap of the Maximal exploration ship, the Axalon. Last I knew, the whole world was goin' white on account a' a transwarp explosion. My scanners ain't pickin' up any Maximal or Predacon signatures, so... Whoever's listenin' in betta' cough up some answers 'bout dis place quick, or I'mma hafta start slaggin' stuff up. I ain't really in the mood t'be pussyfootin' around, capiche?

Comments

voice; claims first comment for great justice!

[stayb100ponyboy]

You're a robot.

[Said completely calmly, or so Equius hopes; he'd hate to have all the excitement he's feeling give away his highblood exterior.]

voice; It's only fitting, after all

[upfromthegutter]

Very good! I am a robot. How very astute of you to notice. Now, why don't you tell me something I don't know?

[Equius may be calm, but Rattrap? Completely, unashamedly condescending.]

voice;

[stayb100ponyboy]

Who built you?

[All the important questions.]

voice;

[upfromthegutter]

Couldn't say. Been a while since I came online. Ain't none a' yer business, neither.

So, you gonna tell me somethin' I don't know, or just sit there askin' questions?

voice;

[stayb100ponyboy]

Hmmmm... so clearly, you've been programmed to be rude. Probably made by someone young then, who would find such a thing amusing.

[Stop that, Equius, you are only six yourself.]

Where do you come from?

[More questions, apparently.]

voice;

[upfromthegutter]

[There is such a long pause here before there's a snort, a snigger, then outright laughter]

Oh Primus! Oh, slag! Ahahahaha, I see what's going on here!

[And then Rattrap's voice takes on a sweet, wheedling tone, the kind used for children and fluffy animals]

You think I'm just a toy, don'cha? Put together from a kit in some organic's workshop. Ohoho, it's so cute when squishies think they're technologically advanced. It's like watchin' a diplomat fire a gun for the first time.

voice

[brbstealingpknm]

This is Vatheon, home of the stupidity that's in an upside down fishbowl.

Oh.. and you can't go home til the damned coral sends you there.

voice

[upfromthegutter]

Ohhh. Issat so? Wellk, isn't that just prime. I had so much planned for that dirtball I was stranded on before. So much, lemme tell you.

[Pause. There's a soft hiss of air being cycled through vents]

Really though, underwater? How deep?

Voice, 1/2

[brbstealingpknm]

Enough that it would rust your circuits, robot. [Silver has a very umimpressed tone about him. and there's a mutter of stupid thing, why drag in robots...] Hmph, though it's not deep enough to drown out the light and there is something of a day-night cycle here. There's an island that we have access to, but like the city, there's a barrier that keeps us here.

Voice, 2/2

[brbstealingpknm]

Otherwise, you're stuck here. No escape until the piece of junk called Lamafuo sends you home. Otherwise, beware the curses and general moronic chatter on this thing.

voice;

[upfromthegutter]

Ah, don't you just... love omnipotent beings with stupid names? [wistful sigh] Probably thought, why not robots, am I right? They'll be good for a lark. Probably throw a lot of people off, too.

So what's this about curses?

Re: voice;

[brbstealingpknm]

Hmph. I do. If it can send the biggest threat to me personally home, then yea, I'm going to like it. [And you know, pray that it doesn't bring Mewtwo back as ohhh boy that would be BAD.]

They happen about... once ever four or five weeks [At least, he thinks so.] and last a week. Anything can happened from RPGs to hats-that-you-can't-take-off to ageing you down or up. Inane things like that.

Anything else you need to know, robot.

voice;

[upfromthegutter]

Smart kid. [So amused]

Rocket propelled grenades? [He likes the sound of that, but... pretty sure it's not right] Hats sound fun though.

What's your name, kid?

text;

[p2iioniicii2t]

Plea2e do not engage iin unnece22ary viiolence.
IIt would not be appreciiated.
There are youth2 here and theiir potentiial endangerment ii2 not 2omethiing thii2 2y2tem wiill abiide by.

Welcome two Vatheon.
Unfortunately, iit ii2 two be your re2iidence for an undetermiinable periiod of tiime.
You are located underneath an ocean of unknown oriigiin, but acce22 two the an ii2land on the 2urface exii2t2.
You wiill fiind a markiing 2omewhere on your frame that wiill allow you to procure mo2t 2uppliie2 offered by merchant2 wiithout charge a2 well a2 lodgiing.
The unorthodox de2iign of the communiicatiion deviice ii2 a reflectiion of iit2 de2iignatiion: SFC (2tarfii2h communiicator).

text;

[upfromthegutter]

What's with the twos.
And naw, I wouldn't resort to violence. More like subterfuge and chaos. Much more fun, that way.

Although you're being much more helpful than the other two yahoos, so I guess I'll lay off, just for you.

So, I get free slag and lodging. Okay. What's the catch?

text;

[p2iioniicii2t]

An iincliinatiion twoward2 biifurcatiion.
Thank you for beiing rea2onable.
II have liittle fondne22 of any comiing two harm.

The 'catch' ii2 apparently two-fold.
You are kept here wiithout your wiill beiing con2iidered.
And you may be 2ubjected two iinciident2 that alter your proce22e2 iin unprediictable way2.

text;

[upfromthegutter]

Yeah, sure, whatever. Not actually in a mood to jack around anyway.

It's a step up from where I was before. A very small step, but a step none the less. Not sure I like the sound of something tooling around in my processor, though. Got any dets you'd be willing to share, buddy?

text;

[p2iioniicii2t]

IIt wa2 an iimprovement iin condiitiion2 for thii2 2y2tem a2 well.
IIf there ii2 2omethiing II may 2hare wiith you, II 2hall.
You need but two be more 2peciifiic iin your reque2t.

text;

[upfromthegutter]

Ah, sorry, buddy. I meant, "Can you provide me with more information concerning the incidents that mess with our processors." That specific enough for you?

voice/private/YEAH I'M HERE SHUSH YOUR FACES SOB

[aim_exorable]

[Hopefully Equius won't try and find much sympathy from Darkleer after the disastrous conversation from above. The older blueblood finds it to be a rather informative interaction.]

[What. They're trolls. Throwing each other to the slaughter is perfectly normal. Besides, it'll be a good lesson for the boy.]

First of all, apologies for Equius. He is still rather young and a bit foolish. Secondly, if there is anything else others before me have not answered for you, I would find it no trouble at all to do my best to do so. My name is Darkleer.

voice/private/>:3c

[upfromthegutter]

Yeah, I could tell. [sigh] Ah, to be young and think you know everything, right? 'Sides, ain't the first time someone implied I ain't a person on account a' being built and not born. Whaddya gonna do, scrap 'em? Heh, maybe if I were a few solar cycles younger....

Think I'm pretty good, on the info account. Mister Bifurcation was extremely helpful, in that regard. Although if I come up with anything else, I'll ask.

voice/private/weh

[aim_exorable]

They learn eventually that things are not always so simple. At least if they're clever enough and are prodded in the correct direction.

Ah, the Helmsman. Others call him the Psiioniic, which was his previous title. He is very cut and dry; I doubt you will go wrong with his answers.

voice/private/<3

[upfromthegutter]

Ehn, he seems pretty keen. 'N a little arrogance never hurt the learning process none.

S'like talking to a computer. A really, really high tech computer that's so close to being sentient, but missing the spark of real life. Didn't know organics could get like that.

[Seriously, the Helmsman really sort of creeps him out.]

voice/private/...<3

[aim_exorable]

I should hope so. He is my descendent, the troll whose blood is a closest match to mine. It would be a bit of a disappointment if he wasn't bright.

[It's okay, the Helmsman tends to have that effect on people sometimes. Venturing into this topic is obviously one Darkleer doesn't particularly like; whereas his voice has been more or less warm for his standards during this conversation, it turns a bit sour as that point is brought up.]

You are very close to truth. Back in our world and universe, a Helmsman system involves merging an organic to machinery with biowiring. Most of the time, it involves a high level psionic and a ship. It is not a pleasant process by any means.

[He. hates. it.]

voice/private

[upfromthegutter]

Oh, so he's your kid? [Don't mind him, he only has the vaguest grasp of how organics actually work.]

[But damn, if that description of the Helmsman doesn't make his circuits crawl]

That's kinda unnatural, don't ya think?