caughtinanetwork | 02 | accidental video

[ Estelle actually has no idea this is recording. Since receiving a warning about this curse and seeing the network full of confessions from various confessors, she decided that, if she were affected (which, she is), she didn't want to appear on the network until this had passed over.

unfortunately, her SFC had other plans. so here, have an image of Estelle sitting at a desk, writing down a list of things on a piece of paper. the piece of paper is, by some chance, in full view of the SFC, and it's fairly simple to see what she's writing.

all of them are confessions. she seems to think that if she gets them all down on paper, perhaps she won't be so inclined to confess them verbally. they range from silly things to more depressing things.

some of the following are on her list: ]

I wish I could bounce. Perhaps not quite as much as Judith does, but more than I do now.

I wish Repede would let me pet him. I'll bet his fur is really soft.

I miss everyone back home.

I think it's selfish of me to wish that more of my friends were here.

I have accidentally killed someone dear to me.

My powers are something that nobody else on Terca Lumireis has ... and my powers are destructive to my world.

The former Commandant of the knights kidnapped me, with the aid of someone I trusted, and forced me to use my abilities to ressurrect a giant blastia that was sealing away a horrible, world-destroying force.

I have wished for my own death before. I have even pleaded with one of my best friends to kill me when I wasn't in proper control of myself.

I still wonder why nobody would call that dish 'vichyssoise.' That's the name of the dish, isn't it?

I want to be involved in a play again. I had fun with the last one I took part in.

I was confined to the castle for eighteen years of my life. I didn't know anything of the outside world except through books I had read.

[ the list goes on and on. she just keeps writing them down. ]

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You too, huh?

[ she only realized this was on when she heard a voice ... and once she realizes that, a horrified look crosses her face and she quickly hides her writing. all she can do is meekly nod in response. ]

Sorry. Didn't all mean to be putting the fright into ya.

[ she offers a sheepish smile, now. ]

I-It's ... quite all right. I just wasn't aware that this was recording.

[ she looks like she wants to say something more, but she does her best to hold it in, instead quickly turning to her paper and writing it down. it .. doesn't help much. she still looks like she's holding it in. ]

Holding stuff in yourself ain't good. Gonna all make you be like a shaked up bottle of soda what is gonna fuckin' blow soon.

[Again, unable to control himself. Has denied the curse so much at this point that he can't even make himself throw the SFC out of reach.]

Maybe we're kindred spirits. I never should have been born, after all. I nearly made my best bud kill me too, but I chickened out. I'm a coward and a liar and I'll just ruin good people like you or Colette. I'm really no good and I'd end up messing you up too like I did Sheena so it's better if we don't talk at all. Everyone'd be better off if I was dead, anyway.

Your chest is fine the way it is; it suits your figure nicely. I noticed that at the beach. I'm still pretty pissed about how that played out, you tease, but maybe losing my status as the Chosen has made me ordinary, not that it matters here.

I hate spaghetti, it reminds me of-

[It seems there may have been more the curse intended for him to type but he managed to fight it off and the message just ends there awkwardly.]

[ ejngkeng this ... entire message. she looks at the screen with an almost painful look on her face. she switches to text, and then types out to him. there's no point in hiding that she's cursed anymore. he'd already seen it. ]

I still feel guilty for that, and I'm really sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I think you are a good person, Zelos, and I want to get to know you better, even if you think you aren't. I would be very sad if you died.

I'm curious, and would like to know what spaghetti reminds you of.

I'm afraid you hate me, for what happened at the beach. I don't feel like I can apologize enough for that.

[ she manages to stop herself there, else she'd just keep going. ]

[It takes a long time for him to get back to her, but maybe not as long as one would expect.]

That wasn't true, spaghetti's my favorite.

I don't hate you I hate myself.

[Damn, and he'd almost made it through without confessing anything.]

Please don't hate yourself. I want to continue to be friends, and become better friends in time.

[ even if it was a confession forced out by the curse, she won't deny that she had wanted to say it. ]

[Idiot...]

Let's talk when this curse is over.

[For now, he'd rather stay hidden. And possibly take apart his SFC.]

All right. I look forward to it.

You may wish to put the communicator I do not understand why many assume me female until I speak ..... further way from your writing. [ He was aware of some of that list - Well, Khroma had hinted about some of those in conversation to him, but oh well. ]

[ she can't help but giggle at that confession. it seems even the almighty Duke is susceptible to such things. she moves her writing out of the way. ]

Thank you very much. Flying with Ba'ul was one of the most exhilarating experiences I had ever had. I may have grown accustomed to it with time, but I still get a thrill out of being high up in the air.

[ her eyes widen, and she shrinks back in the video feed a little. this confession thing was ... yeah. ]

Edited 2012-01-13 08:23 (UTC)

[ A bit embarrassing? ]

Flight is better with just the Entelexeia holding you to the air. .... [ Hopefully she'd just take that as Khroma. Maybe? ]

[ she's not sure what to think of it, really. instead, she only nods sheepishly. ]

Um, Estellise...

_{[rather quietly, because he's trying to make her realize this thing is on.]}

[ she hears his voice, and at first, she looks around as if he were in the room. but she then realizes, with some amount of horror on her face, that her SFC is on.

... whoops. ]

...Death isn't something you want. Trust me on that one.

[ rgjnrkgnrkngkrgn

.... well, um. despite how she doesn't like that her confessions were shown on the network, it would be rude not to respond. ]

I-I know that now ...

Good...

[He hadn't meant to pick up the SFC - the things that she was writing down weren't all exactly casual topics, and privacy was so important during this curse - but his lips were moving before he could realize it.]

It isn't selfish to want to be around those that you care about. But it IS selfish to wish for the passing of your life so casually. Especially if you're asking friends to do it for you. You'd put a burden like that upon a friend? Don't you find yourself more valuable than that?

It's not like I have any right to judge you for death - you might be well deserving of it, after all. The Fabre household certainly is, so it's not a farfetched idea.

[He pauses, his face flushing and expression tightening as the things he's saying start to process. He lets out a frustrated sigh.] Ah geez... Estellise, I'm sorry, but please don't be upset about the way you look. Your chest is perfectly attractive the way it is, after all.

[Another awkward pause. In which the blond silently sputters for a few moments before quickly burying his face in his hands.]

Damn it...

Edited 2012-01-13 20:01 (UTC)

[ and now she's just going to hide her face behind her notebook. this curse ... it was so much more trouble than she needed. more trouble than anybody needed, really. ]

T-This curse ... it really is bothersome.

[Oh no oh geez don't hide. Yep, that pit in his stomach isn't getting any better seeing that reaction.

He sighs, offering an awkward smile.] Well... as awful as it is, at least you're finding a way to cope with it. Just turn your camera off next time.

02 | accidental video

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