Johnny Rayflo (
not_heavens_adam) wrote in
caughtinanetwork2012-07-23 09:18 am
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Entry tags:
Video
[The video turns on to bright, light grey, clouds; the only barrier between the sun and the beach. Raindrops fall onto the camera, but they're wiped off by the owner of the SFC, one vampire who's currently standing dressed only in an open button-down and loose, low-hanging jeans that are rolled up to above his knees, calf-deep in the ocean as the rain falls steadily from the sky.
Apparently, he likes to live on the edge with those clouds.]
“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts.” Charles Dickens, Great Expectations.
Back home, I've heard it said that God is in the rain just as He is in the sun's rays...
[So, then, why is it only the sun that burns?]
Rain is grace; rain is the sky condescending to the earth; without rain, there would be no life...and yet, people hide away from the rain and seek shelter inside and curse nature for ruining their bright and sunny day. Why?
[Finally he turns a small, vaguely sad, smirk to the camera.]
What about all of you? What are your qualms with the rain? Does it have any sort of significance for you personally or back home? Or is it just the thing that hides the sun from your face~?
Apparently, he likes to live on the edge with those clouds.]
“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts.” Charles Dickens, Great Expectations.
Back home, I've heard it said that God is in the rain just as He is in the sun's rays...
[So, then, why is it only the sun that burns?]
Rain is grace; rain is the sky condescending to the earth; without rain, there would be no life...and yet, people hide away from the rain and seek shelter inside and curse nature for ruining their bright and sunny day. Why?
[Finally he turns a small, vaguely sad, smirk to the camera.]
What about all of you? What are your qualms with the rain? Does it have any sort of significance for you personally or back home? Or is it just the thing that hides the sun from your face~?
[Action]
Aaah~ Yes, I can understand how there would be some conflict there.
At least...this is only rain, it's not here to hurt, only help..
[Action]
[Fai knows the bottle is there but he doesn't question it just yet. He doesn't want to push Johnny to explain anything but if things should get out of hand, Fai is ready to step in.]
[Action]
God is in the rain. Mmm...of course, Chaplin once said: “I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” So, I suppose, it's good for that too.
[He goes quiet for a bit and just closes his eyes to let the rain fall on his face.]
Fai...God's not really in the rain is He? If he was...then it would burn just as the sunlight does.
[Action]
[Fai tilts his head to let that rain wash over him as well, eye on those dark clouds.]
Perhaps their touch just differs on each thing. The sun is bright and strong and if left alone is burns all that it touches in different ways and at different speeds. Everyone is affected by the sun in some way and perhaps those that are truly close to him and the brightness of that sun are the ones that get hurt by it the fastest.
Whereas the rain is gentle. Perhaps with its touch, the gods are trying to soothe that which the sun burns. To ease some of the pain they know their brilliance causes.
[Action]
He'd never heard this theory before...and it was strange and he didn't feel worthy if it were true...but it was something to think about.
However, not right now. For now he goes back for the vodka as if drinking more of it would wash the thought from his head. Finally, he spoke up and the part of him that was still reasonable wished he had something more intelligent to say, but the fog his mind was in kept him from decent thoughts.]
....I wish that you were right. It would be nice to think that.
[Action]
He doesn't reach for that bottle quite yet. He just stands there beside the other man and looks up at him.]
Would it be so terrible to think about it? To let that theory be truth, at least in your own mind? We all have a choice in believing what we want. Besides, I have no reason to believe that I am wrong..so why can't it be right? Isn't that what most religions and beliefs in anything are based upon? Beliefs that someone can follow until it can be proven otherwise.
[Action]
Yes, it would be. I don't deserve that reality, Fai. Besides, everything I've ever known has told me otherwise.
[Action]
But it made me realize, that everyone deserves to live..no matter what mistakes they may have made over the years. [Fai reaches out and places his hand on top of Johnny's hand on the bottle.]
You can't always trust that which you've always known. Sometimes you have to let go of your fears and doubts and just trust in yourself even if that is the hardest person to put your trust in. Take that little leap of faith and believe that we aren't as bad as we've always believed us to be.
[Action]
I don't know if I can ever trust myself....the demon who made me saw to it that I'd do things that I'd do things I might not want to..but, do you think trusting that everyone else is right when I'm not.....do you think that would be enough?
[His eyes start to sting and he closes them, though a few tears still escape.]
I don't want to fail you or any of them....
[Action]
[Fai smiles a little and reaches up to wipe away those tears gently. If Johnny wants to cry then he will let him. Sometimes that is just what is necessary. He takes that bottle from his hand though. That is enough of that.]
You won't fail us. As your friend, I will always accept everything..even the failures. I've learned that is what people do. Accept the lies, the truth, the pain, the triumphs and the failures. All of it is what makes us who we are and a true friend accepts and supports no matter what.
[Action]
He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the thinner frame, his face burying itself in Fai's shoulder. This was all he could express right now.]
Thank you...
[Action]
You are welcome. Anytime..I'll try and help you anytime.