caughtinanetwork

Is that with or without knowing that your concept of art amounts to gut-churning musclebeast porn?

You know, assuming that art which features nudes is automatically porn is what those who know nothing about art assume. Stop exposing your ignorance, you're embarrassing both of us.

Oh, how did I miss it? Of course you're right. They're not porn; they're emergency emetics.

[ . . . . ]

Is it just me, or are you awfully hung up on the idea of porn?

How the fuck do you equate me calling out that visual assault of stomach acid on the eyes as being hung up on porn? Did you bust your brain too in all those robot fights of yours?

You're the one calling art you don't understand porn. That indicates a preconceived hang-up.

And you're the one who likes to stare at giant musclebeast bulges, so don't call me hung-up when your defense is a crock of shit!

I appreciate beauty in ALL its forms, especially when those forms are STRONG and majestic.

[He knows Karkat has got him on this one.]

Sounds like you appreciate the stink of your own bullshit, too.

That's rich, coming from someone as in love with the shrieking tones of his own voice as you are.

Are you kidding me? I hate myself. You saw all those hamfisted exhibitions of dual idiocy by past me in those memos I used to make, so don't even try that argument.

Yes, yes, everyone knows that my greatest competition for your hateffections is yourself. Which is weird, by the way. Always has been, always will be. But regardless, as much as you might hate yourself, you certainly don't seem to hate the sound of your own voice; otherwise, you wouldn't be so keen on sharing it.

Wrong. I have had actual interests besides you in the past, bulgewipe, and any hate I harbor for myself is of a strictly platonic nature.

[Seriously, he realized how stupid that was and gave up.]

But the benefit of my voice in this case is subjecting you to its grating tones. Every screech into your aural cavities is only what you deserve for existing, and being as I'm the one responsible, it is only fitting that I be the judge of your inferior existence.

You know, I have a question about that. You created us all in the ectobiology lab, meaning that you and only you are responsible for being a mutant.

Your science was sloppy.

[Okay, that's not really a question.]

[Oh, he is definitely glaring now.]

Listen up, asswipe! My science was not sloppy, and how can you claim anything about the science of ectobiology when you've never performed it? I pulled double duty cloning all you squirming wigglers into existence, including our ancestors, and I helped Kanaya with the frogs.

[And... gave the universe cancer... but Equius doesn't need to know that!]

It's based on stable timeloops, you moron. I'm a mutant because I was, would, and will be one through the whole of my own existence, just as the Signless was. I couldn't make myself not a mutant because my mutation was already established! If I had done something different - if I had cloned any single one of you in such a way that you had a different blood color - it would have created a doomed timeline and we all would have died. Yes, you died anyway; that's not the point.

Don't act like I don't know anything about science, you putrid little fool! I've made functional limbs out of metal before, and grafted them onto living trolls, so I know a thing or two about biology. How different can ectobiology be?

[Very, Equius. Very.]

All that means to me is that your science is sloppy across all time loops. Which I suppose is an accomplishment in and of itself, but not exactly one I'd be proud of.

MY SCIENCE ISN'T FUCKING SLOPPY! History wouldn't even be the same if the Signless didn't have his color, you ignorant sack of crap. He might have died in the end - by your ancestor, I'll remind you - but everything he did affected something else.

And don't act like your clunky robot limbs tell you anything about ectobiology. Tell me, what's paradox slime? How do you get it? What's it used for? Why is it necessary? Run me through how you would clone yourself into existence. Tell me how to make Bilious Slick, genius!

So really, history would just be improved if you'd paid attention to what you were doing.

[Aw crap, getting called out here. Time to deflect!]

Why would I want to clone myself into existence? I already exist. And besides, what good are your heady little thought experiments in real-life scenarios? Tell me, Vantas, how would you connect a robotic limb to a stump? How would you ensure the blood vessels would line up properly? How would you make a functional circulatory system? How would you make a lower torso piece that serves all the same functions as the physical lower torso, including but not limited to waste management AND reproduction?

[Shoot, let's hope Nepeta doesn't see this.]

Edited (fiddly little mistakes) 2012-08-28 16:15 (UTC)

None of it works like that, you incorrigible dipshit! I swear I wouldn't be able to get any real, actual information into your skull if I used a pneumatic fucking drill. Congratulations: even your own stubborn ignorance carries the freakish strength of the rest of you.

You only exist because I made you! I made all of us! Twenty-four squirmy little grubs climbing on me and everything, and when the timer ticked down they disappeared to their meteors and went back in time through the gates during the Reckoning as Skaia's defense portals protected the battlefield from getting annihilated. If I hadn't done that you wouldn't fucking be here.

And whether or not I can even make a robot isn't the point. I know shit about robotics and regular biology. I never claimed I did, so who cares? The point, asswipe, is that you have proved yourself to not understand the slightest inkling of how ectobiology works or why it's even necessary, and that you're a fucking retard at understanding the mere basics of both stable time loops and doomed timelines.

You want to make robot limbs? Creepy sex robots or whatever you're bitching about there? Go ahead, fuck off, and spare me the migraine of having to deal with your lacking intelligence. If you're the Heir of Void, the void must be the empty space in your skull. A black hole, for all I know, because your idiocy is so massive in scale it must have collapsed in on itself into one inescapable singularity of dark, annihilating stupidity. No matter how much actual logic I fling at it, nothing comes back out, and it never will.

[Blah blah blah.]

I'm sorry, are you still talking? All I heard was "my science was so sloppy, Equius, if I made anything useful it would be just as terrible as that pen my matesprit made for his seahorse, which is to say completely nonfunctional."

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bethehugejerk - 2012-08-28 17:38 (UTC) - Expand

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stayb100ponyboy - 2012-08-28 20:19 (UTC) - Expand

[Do you see this wide-eyed face suddenly popping up on the feed, Equius? Do you?]

You can do that?! Really really?

[loiargoiknhaf cbkjnwsdvgji scwji vskjhiWFRJMB FSCJPKV ADXJI]

[Curse his big mouth.]

[CURSE IT!]

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