caughtinanetwork | A question | backdated to the 18th

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A question | backdated to the 18th

[Filtered to Luke, Cadence, and Xion]

[Somehow, Sola has managed to actually put a filter on this post. It took him quite awhile but it's very important to him that no one else see. He doesn't want them to worry. In fact, he's sort of hiding out in the bathroom of Johnny's apartment to make the post.

The young Hylian's face is drawn and he's rubbing his hand as if to try and get the circulation going after sleeping on it funny.]

Umm... hi everyone. Only you three can see this, I think. I mean, I hope so. But I had sort of a question since I don't know...

Have any of you ever, um... started... getting kind of numb o-or... kind of see-through?

[It sounds ridiculous when he says it out loud and Sola crinkles his nose as how strange but he has to know.]

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[Hey Sola, have a worried look.]

I haven't... Are you feeling alright?

Y-yeah, I'm okay now, I just...

[He looks around a bit and lowers his voice, anxiety clear in his features.]

Promise not to tell anyone about this?

Alright...

[She doesn't sound any less concerned than she did a moment ago, but she's not one to go telling anyone's secrets either if they're willing to trust her with them.]

I'm scared. I-I don't know if anyone can help, that's why I'm asking you guys...

[He shakes his head, looking aside.]

I don't want my dads or Johnny to worry though.

[...so it's a replica problem?] Sola, what's wrong?

Well, I... I keep... fading...

[He keeps his eyes averted from the camera.]

I-I'm sure it'll just go away. I think.

[It's been a long time. He's fairly certain it's getting worse.]

You don't sound so sure...

[And suddenly a look of empathy crosses her face, not because she has any idea what's happening to him, but because she's starting to understand how he feels about it.]

Look, I- I don't really know what's happening to you, and I'm sorry for that, but what I do know is that running away from it will only make things worse.

I'm not running! I just-

[He chews his lower lip for a moment, still rubbing the circulation back in his fingers.]

I don't think there's anyone that can fix it and I'd rather not worry my dads or Johnny or anyone.

[Her face is growing increasingly concerned and serious. If there's help to be had for him she definitely wants him to find it, but this is just screaming 'spectacular backfire' to her.]

Maybe there's not, [there certainly wasn't for her] but that won't make them worry less if you start to hide it. Believe me, I've tried it this way.

You said you'd never felt like this so how could you have tried?

[There's a slight accusatory tone but really he is looking for an answer.]

[She doesn't miss his accusatory tone, and there's a bit of a pause before she continues.]

...It was when I found out what I was made for. It left me with a big decision to make about where I really belonged, and I decided to not tell my friends about it because they didn't know what I am. They got involved anyway and it hurt them even more than it had to because I tried to protect them from something I couldn't.

[She keeps her gaze trained on him afterwards, keeping her response short to avoid getting off track.]

Sure, they may not notice now, not for a while even. But if this gets out of hand, don't leave them feeling like they could've done more.

[Honestly, he'd rather get off track.]

What were you made for..? I'm sorry, that must have been really bad.

[She silently accepts the apology with a morose smile. There isn't much more she can say to make her point that would be repetition now, anyway.]

That much was inevitable... I just ended up making things worse.

But it's just...

[He's quiet for a very long moment. When he speaks again it's soft, almost difficult for the SFC to pick up.]

I know there isn't anything anyone can do. Master Ganondorf's gone.. and... whatever happens to me, if something happens to me, then... well, they can blame me for not saying something, instead of feeling helpless that there really isn't anything.

[This is the logic he's come up with. It's not great, but... really it's the only thing he has to work with when he has no real hope for himself.]

I understand. I can't help but think back on how everything happened and what I could have done differently, though.

Trying to make that choice for them was probably one of my biggest mistakes.

[Her words are sincere but her expression is fairly unreadable, however. All she can really do for him is offer her advice, what he does with it is up to him.]

I don't think this is the same. It's... not really a choice.

[He leans down on the desk his SFC is perched on.]

...I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to make you sad, I just...

[I'm just scared...]

No it's alright, I know how it feels to not know quite where to turn.

[This is a video feed an therefore she can't hug him, so she hopes a smile will do, no matter how small.]

[The smile helps a little. Xion's so nice, he wishes he could get to know her better before...]

...hey... could you do be a favor?

...What kind?

[She sounds hesitant, but finds herself more surprised he's actually asking something of her.]

I just, um...

...

If I... if I vanish, could... could you make sure people know it's.. it's not their fault? Especially Johnny...

I'm sorry, I know you probably don't know him but.. but he's my matesprit and he thinks everything bad is always his fault because he's kind of stupid sometimes. I just don't want him to think that...

[And he doesn't have anyone else to ask. He's not close enough with Otoha even if he'd probably be best to ask, Zelda he can't bring himself to tell, and Link's asleep. He likes Xion, but he feels this is still asking so much of her when they've only really spoken once.]

..I'm sorry..

...I'll make sure of it.

[She's not going to lie and say everything's going to be okay. The people he cares about deserve to know the truth.]

Don't apologize. It's something I wish I had and I'm glad to help you with it.

Thank you.

[He rubs the back of his neck, feeling exhausted now that the pins and needles hive finally passed and his morbid thoughts settled. Maybe he'll just go take a nap.]

I'm going to go... thank you again Xion. I'm sorry.

[With those words, he quietly slips off the SFC.]

[Why is he a part of this filter?

It's the first thing Luke thinks of, and it weighs heavily on his mind. But he pushes it aside as concern sets in. Numb? See-through? What...?]

No... I haven't felt anything like that before.

Shouldn't you see someone about this? It doesn't sound good.

[Because Sola is dense but not that dense and the answers Luke gave when talking about replicas were so very telling.

And because he's so very frightened. Because he needs someone to understand.]

Who am I supposed to see? It's not... it's not all the time anyway.

[He continues to rub his hand, willing the blood to flow back through his fingers.]

Hey, um... don't tell anybody, okay? Maybe it'll just go away on its own...

I won't tell, I promise. But maybe someone else out there can help? I mean, it's not all the time, but it still happens, right?

[He looks unsure though, and hesitant. He isn't sure what is wrong with Sola, and he doesn't want to push it too much. It'd be awful if Sola got offended, or snapped at him, or... something.]

I'm sorry, I don't mean to scare you or anything... Maybe it isn't a big deal. It just... sounds like it might be one.

Master Ganondorf made me, I think... he's the only one who can fix me, but he's gone so...

[He flicks his ears, then attempts to smile at the camera instead. it's not very convincing.]

I just don't want any of my friends to worry.

[So Sola has a master, too? Mmm...]

Won't they be even more worried if you don't tell them? [His voice sounds gentle, even reluctant. After all, he understands. It's part of the reason why he keeps his own nightmares and demons to himself; he doesn't want anyone to worry.]

Maybe, but... if all I do is worry people I'd rather they didn't care. And no one can do anything so it's better to be quiet anyway. If something happens to me...

[He pauses, swallowing.]

If something happens to me then I'd rather they blame me for not saying anything than feel helpless when nothing works.

[He pulls his knees to his chest, scared and melancholy.]

At least I won't have to see their sad faces, then, too.

H-Hey... come on, don't say it like that. [This is far beyond what Luke has any experience with... but he can at least try.] You're not going to just worry them. I mean, sure, they might be sad... but I think they'd want to be happy with you, too. No one wants to be sad all the time...

[He shakes his head.] You don't know Johnny, he'll think it's his fault. I don't want him to feel like that. A-and I don't want him to look at me and be sad that he knows I'm going to...

[die. It's too scary. He doesn't want to taint what they have now, that warm and fun relationship of hugs and counting fish though the bubble. He can't face that changing so instead he'll hold onto it for as long as he can.]

...

I think I understand.

You'd rather everyone be happy... like this wasn't happening at all, right?

Yeah, exactly. I just... I wish it wasn't.

[It's too hard, it's too much, and he's just...

tired.]

... I wish I could help somehow. If you need me for anything, I...

[It's just - it's so beyond him. Even... Even if it's a replica problem, he hasn't known he was like this for long. He wouldn't know a thing.]

[Luke earns a small smile for his trouble and a gentle shake of his head.]

It's okay. I just needed someone to talk to I guess.. Thanks for listening, at least.

... Yeah. Sorry I wasn't that great of a talker.

[Is there anything he can do right?]

Tell me if... something else happens, okay?

I more needed a listener. You're good at that.

[He knows if anything else happens it'll probably be that he faded away... but someone will surely let everyone know, right? And.. saying that just seems...

...

He doesn't want to do it.]

I will. G'bye, Luke.

[His smile falls into another troubled expression for the split second Luke can see it before the feed goes to black.]

[He gulps audibly.]

I have... both of those, actually.

I'm sorry.

You have?

[There's a glimmer of something in Sola's reaction. Hope, maybe, or foreboding. But Cadece is still here, so maybe...?]

What happened?

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