001

[bhag]

[This is one clever little newcomer who has quickly figured out the system. Well, the SFC system at least. He adjusts it slightly so he is looking straight into the camera. He is very obviously New Here. Mostly on account of being slightly wet and covered in towel.]

So. Yeah. Hey. I'm sure you get this all the time but I'm new here.

[pause, mumble]

Wow, that sounds like it is some kind of support group. "hi everybody, I'm the Once-ler and I'm stuck in a fishbowl."

Anyway, I was reading the pamphlets-- Great stuff really, very informative. I uh, think there were a few typos. And you might wanna hire a new illustrator, cause yikes, but really, thanks. It helped a lot. Wouldn't wanna be stuck in a kooky underwater magic fish bowl without some information, am I right? Haha.

[S i l e n c e.]


Anyway, I just got one question...

What is up with these towels?



[And he goes back to drying himself off again, muttering a little under his breath.]

Wow, a thneed would work so much better for this.

Comments

video;

[bhag]

Hey, I'm a busy man. Time is money. I don't have time to just... wander around.

[Unless that just wandering around includes breaking into random musical numbers. Then it is cool.]

video;

[garbagecanned]

Good luck on the whole...staying busy here. There's not much to stay busy with.

video;

[bhag]

There's always stuff to stay busy with. You just gotta find it.

video;

[garbagecanned]

You're really bent on this, aren't you?

video;

[bhag]

What, it's better than just sitting around, right? At the very least I can brush up on my tunes, rewrite my jingle a little, you know, important stuff.

video;

[garbagecanned]

[...SQUINTS.]

Your jingle? For what?

video;

[bhag]

My Thneed! Oh yeah, got something here that's going to change the world.

video;

[garbagecanned]

What's so great about a...The Need?

[Dude did you hit your head on the coral when you came in?]

video;

[bhag]

Thneed.

[Wow, watch the pronunciation there, buddy.]

A thneed is the new up and coming product that will change your life forever. It is the only product that does the work of a thousand. Sick of wasting so much time and money buying all those different products, tired of filling your house with so much clutter you barely use? If that's you that sounds like you need a thneed.

video;

[garbagecanned]

[Wow okay he stands corrected.]

...Well, even if I did use a lot of different stuff in the first place, there's a newsflash. You don't really pay for a whole lot here.

[Just saying.]

video;

[bhag]

Well, yeah, I get that. But I didn't exactly come up with the idea in those five minutes since I got dumped here in this underwater mad-house. These babies have been a work in progress for a heck of a long time.

video;

[garbagecanned]

Okay, whatever then. Suit yourself. I just know you won't be doing a whole lot of anything here.