caughtinanetwork

[This is one clever little newcomer who has quickly figured out the system. Well, the SFC system at least. He adjusts it slightly so he is looking straight into the camera. He is very obviously New Here. Mostly on account of being slightly wet and covered in towel.]

So. Yeah. Hey. I'm sure you get this all the time but I'm new here.

[pause, mumble]

Wow, that sounds like it is some kind of support group. "hi everybody, I'm the Once-ler and I'm stuck in a fishbowl."

Anyway, I was reading the pamphlets-- Great stuff really, very informative. I uh, think there were a few typos. And you might wanna hire a new illustrator, cause yikes, but really, thanks. It helped a lot. Wouldn't wanna be stuck in a kooky underwater magic fish bowl without some information, am I right? Haha.

[S i l e n c e.]

Anyway, I just got one question...

What is up with these towels?

[And he goes back to drying himself off again, muttering a little under his breath.]

Wow, a thneed would work so much better for this.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I GET WHAT YOU'RE SAYING JUST FINE
YOU'RE CONCERNED WITH ONTOLOGICAL PARADOXES DUE TO THE OPAQUE FUNCTION OF THE LOCAL SUPPLY LINE AND HOW IT CAN CONTINUE TO SUPPORT ITSELF WITHOUT DEMANDING MONEY OF THE FOREIGNERS IT AIDS.
I JUST THINK IT'S A STUPID THING TO WORRY ABOUT UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES, AND SO I AM DIRECTING YOU TO ASK SOMEONE ELSE.

Wow. What, do you have like a fancy word-a-day calendar? But seriously, don't you think it is a little important to think about this kind of stuff? What if they lose interest and stop giving us food and stuff? Then what?

PREVENTING ONTOLOGICAL PARADOXES WAS HALF THE POINT OF A MONTH-LONG GAME MY FRIENDS AND I PLAYED ALMOST TWO EARTH YEARS AGO.
ALSO, DESPITE THE INSINUATIONS OF CERTAIN SHORT-SIGHTED DICKS, SWEARING A LOT DOES NOT MEAN MY OVERALL VOCABULARY SUCKS.
AND NO, I DON'T.
THIS PLACE HAS BEEN AROUND FOR LONGER THAN I'VE BEEN HERE
THERE ARE MUGS THAT APPEARED IN OUR HIVES THE DAY IT HAD ITS TWO-YEAR ANNIVERSARY
AND BETWEEN ALL THE WEIRDER SHIT I'VE BEEN THROUGH IN MY LIFE, INCLUDING EVENTS HERE THAT CAN ONLY SUFFICIENTLY BE CATEGORIZED AS "SHENANIGANS", QUESTIONING WHERE THE TOWELS COME FROM
AND I DO MEAN METAPHORICALLY THERE
IS NOT SOMETHING I'M PARTICULARLY BOTHERED ABOUT.
IF THERE WAS A PARADOX, THIS TIMELINE WOULD HAVE DERAILED BY NOW.

Edited (wow took me long enough to notice that typo) 2012-08-23 12:37 (UTC)

Right. You know, if this whole thing collapses in the future, I'm just going to say I told you so.

YOU DIDN'T TELL ME SHIT.
I'M NOT EVEN THE TIME PLAYER OF MY TEAM AND I UNDERSTAND ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT A DOOMED TIMELINE WILL EVENTUALLY COME TO AN END.
IF THIS COLLAPSES, DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE PLEASED
BUT SURPRISE WILL BE THE LAST THING ON MY MIND.
BUT WHEN THIS PLACE ALREADY SUBVERTS SO MANY LAWS OF COMMON SENSE, I HARDLY EXPECT ANYTHING LIKE THAT WILL HAPPEN SOON.

[time player... doomed timeline... what.]

You know, nothing you says makes sense anymore.

SHORT VERSION:
ELEVEN OTHER TROLLS AND I PLAYED A GAME TOGETHER THAT AMONG OTHER THINGS INVOLVED COUNTLESS STABLE TIME LOOPS SUPPORTED ONLY BY THE RIGHT THING HAPPENING AT THE RIGHT TIME
AND ALSO INVOLVED GIVING EACH OF US A TITLE INVOLVING A CERTAIN ASPECT.
ONE OF THOSE ASPECTS WAS TIME. THE TIME PLAYER WAS A ROBOT FROGSPRITE GHOST GIRL.
NO I AM NOT EXPLAINING *THAT* PART SO DON'T ASK.

Wait...
Is this one of those nerdy table roleplay games?
Like, with the dice and stuff?

[Surely it can't be real! That is just preposterous.

Says the man currently being roomies with some guardian of the forest animal... thing.]

NO, DUMBFUCK
AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION OUR NERDY GAMES WITH THE DICE INVOLVE PEOPLE GETTING KILLED OFTEN ENOUGH.
THE GAME I MEANT IS BIGGER THAN THAT, ONE THAT DIRECTLY INTERACTED WITH REALITY, PULLED US FROM OUR PLANET AND UNIVERSE, AND ULTIMATELY LED US TO CREATE A SECOND, DIFFERENT UNIVERSE
WHICH IN TURN AFFECTED US IN THE PAST VIA STABLE TIME LOOPS.

Okaaay.
So. Which one were you?

WHICH ONE WHAT.

Player.
Not time, obviously.
Cause apparently *that* was some froggirl. Of course.

WHAT DOES IT MATTER TO YOU ANYWAY.
IT WASN'T TIME AND IS IRRELEVANT TO THIS CONVERSATION
AND I SEE NO REASON YOU NEED TO KNOW IT.

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