caughtinanetwork

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[Dirk is in front of what some might recognize as one of the Defense Force's tech division rooms when he turns on the SFC.]

Right. So a few of us have gotten together to make a database. We figured, since disappearances are so random, there's no point in relying on word of mouth to get information about this place around. We've got the basic facts, sure, but things like the hacked information, that's worth keeping around in its original form.

For those who haven't gotten the point yet, there's a database on the SFC now. Tech, Aizen, Denzel, Gale and I are maintaining it, but since we obviously haven't been here from the beginning, we can't be the only ones to list the info. If you have something relevant, send it in.

[At this point, he turns away from the camera, seemingly focusing his attention on another project.]

Unrelated- RL, if you think you are getting your wriggling day present a second before midnight, you are sadly mistaken. You are also similarly wrong if you think that I will accept booze as a present.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Stop trying to be such a smart ass. You suck at it and it's annoying. Besides, what do you even care about me hypothetically saying that when I'm an alien from another universe and, unless I am sorely mistaken, neither of us actually like each other?

I don't have to like you to not want you dead, do I?

[What an odd question to ask. Karkat's mouth quirks as he puzzles it over.]

So what then? Do you get that much enjoyment out of being an annoyance to me that you want to keep me around?

I'll admit that I get a small amount of entertainment from it, but no, I'm not that petty. There are very few people I wish death on.

[And just as quick, his expression slips back to unamused.]

Not caring if someone dies and actively wishing them dead are two different things, idiot. For someone who grew up post-conquest you're still awfully human in thinking.

Thanks for the compliment. It's not like there were trolls around to act as role models either, you realize.

... I'll give you that one.

[He can't argue it. There's no way for there to be any other trolls. But as he thinks over that, his expression softens, looking nigh gentle next to the usual look he gives.]

What was it like?

[The change is definitely observed, but Dirk doesn't comment on it, mostly because of the question.]

Boring as shit, mostly. Lucky I had the internet, or I would have gone insane at age four. I taught myself things, explored the underwater ruins of Houston. Talked with Roxy and Jane and Dirk once we got contact. Waited for the drones to show up, only the batterwitch had plans for those and never quite got around to trying to kill me until I was about to enter the game.

[He almost wants to ask if he meant human four or troll four, but figures it doesn't matter. The time it takes the planet to circle the sun doesn't change just because of your conqueror. Either option would be just as unappealing. So he sits back, and he listens, and he tries to take it in.]

... Well, shit.

I'm not going to to put on some douchy front that I know what to say, because I haven't got a fucking clue. It's not exactly in the empire's best interests to show the side of the conquered in any sympathetic light in our media, let alone when wiping them out is the goal, and I never got the chance to meet one personally--not like I'd get the chance or would be likely to care if I had.

[Threshecutioner, force of conquest. He'd be there instead of the drone. His gaze dips away from the screen.]

Shit sucks, I guess, which is woefully inadequate and I feel like an immense tool for saying it.

[Dirk shrugs.]

Yeah, shit sucked. From some of the things she tried to enforce, I'm betting being an average troll wasn't a piece of cake either. Either way, both worlds are destroyed.

I'm not sure who out of us even counts as "average." We already stand out for the whole Sgrub thing - not every troll arrives on meteor or helps end the world and the majority of the species.

I mean, in some ways it was pretty badass? We're supposed to be these fighters who can take on anything, and grow up to conquer whatever's in our way because it's just what we do. And if the empress unaided can take over your planet, that proves enough what I've said about humans before.

But it also sucked in a lot of ways, depending on what shit you got saddled with. I can guarantee you not all of us would have made it to adulthood.

But even with all that, I can't say I ever had the life you did or anything approaching it.

[He reaches up, rubs at a temple.]

I'm still not even sure where I'm going with all this.

I think the only place there is to go with this is a heartfelt 'Screw the Condesce with her own culling fork for screwing various races over, including significant portions of her own.' She tried to revive the trolls on Earth, you know. But every time she got somewhere, her horrorterror of a pet killed them all.

[Karkat snorts a laugh.]

Yeah, I can agree with that. Completely stellar leader, absolute terror to be ruled by.

Seriously, though? She tried that? How did she, even, if she was the only one of us around? But if she couldn't keep her lusus fed, that's her own damn fault.

It was decades before I existed, I'm not sure where she got the materials to try. The only reason I don't care about it is because it didn't kill off humans all at once while it was stomping on her dreams of reviving the trolls.

[Hm.]

If you ever do get to caring, ask Feferi. Obviously she wasn't around, but that thing was her lusus too, so she might know something.

[...]

Which brings up the question of how there was another one, since Feferi prototyped hers when it died, huge thing that it was. Much to our detriment but as you know, we beat the game anyway.

Might be an alternate universe thing. I've never been able to learn much of the catastrophe on her home world that led to her taking over ours. Might be different than what happened to you.

[Karkat tosses a hand in the air. He'd do both, but one's holding the SFC.]

Hell if I know. I give up on understanding the particulars. I thought she'd have to be the empress from ours who survived somehow because Cheating Tyrian I'm-Special-You're-Not powers, because there shouldn't be another troll universe created along with yours because they're separate.

But then, Terezi and Rose tell me there were other trolls anyway before a separate scratch that led to us, as in me and my team and our ancestors, except it's flipped like you and earth flavor A, so...

I still don't know. I'm just going to sincerely hope we never find out. Scientists, can you see this? Can you read this? Can you hear my most pathetic prayer unto wherever the heck you're hiding? Keep the empress gone. She was here once and you didn't keep her; obviously something didn't work out. Keep that thought in mind!

Seems like the only option until someone who has a better explanation shows up.

That's just as likely to tempt them, you realize. I'll be blaming you if she shows up.

Don't even joke about that!

[And now he's frowning, quite earnestly.]

It was bad enough to deal with the Grand Highblood when he showed up, and that happened more than once. I had no clue how to handle it at all when the Empress showed, still have no clue what I'd do if she did again, and don't even want to think what would occur if she stuck around longer than she did then. And don't blame me, you ass!

I'm simply saying, if the scientists are in fact paying attention to this conversation, they're just as likely to take your words as an invitation to bring her back as they are to take your word on it. They've proved that they don't exactly care if we're happy.

Shut up, would you? I've been here longer than you have, almost two years, so I think I know full well how little they care how happy we are. That doesn't mean I can't hope against something profoundly undesirable! Don't tell me you're not hoping the same thing, Dirk.

If I wanted a shot at killing her, I'd have gotten it before this. She slaughtered my bro, and he was at the top of his game. I'm not stupid enough to think I have a snowball's chance in hell.

[Well, that's depressing. Karkat's attitude is shoved back by a wince of honest-to-god sympathy.]

I'm not going to pretend I have much fondness for Dave, let alone a post-scratch version I've never met, but... I know what it's like to learn an ancestor was killed before his time. Shit sucks rotting bulge.

At least we're both agreed on not taking her on directly.

Since she did show up once- how did you deal with her? Or did she disappear again before she had a chance to wreak too much havoc?

We were already in hiding from the Grand Highblood at the time, so the plan went from "deal with him once we sort shit out" to "we're fucked in the ass with a chainsaw". She disappeared not long after, so we never did get to forming a plan of action. She didn't get to do much, either.

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