caughtinanetwork

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[text]

1 WOULD JUST L1K3 TO PO1NT OUT TH4T TH1S 1S 4 JOK3 1N V3RY POOR T4ST3
1 WOULD F1L3 4 FORM4L COMPL41NT ON TH3 M4TT3R 1F 1 B3L13V3D 1T WOULD DO 4NY GOOD
BUT W3 4LL KNOW TH4T 1SN'T TH3 C4S3!
4S 1T ST4NDS, 1 M4Y JUST H4V3 TO S3TTL3 FOR G4NK1NG 4 C3RT41N CLOWN'S FONT COLOR
UGH, BUT 1T F33LS SO D1RTY

((Translation: I would just like to point out that this is a joke in very poor taste
I would file a formal complaint on the matter if I believed it would do any good
But we all know that isn't the case!
As it stands, I may just have to settle for ganking a certain clown's font color
Ugh, but it feels so dirty))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Comfort foods are the best food, okay. Especially if you have a pile of them vaguely resembling a mountain.]

Thanks, that does do a motherfucker good. I was just like, fuck, what am I gonna be typing in now, haha.

I hope you expected to be eating some of these with me, otherwise I might have to take this as an insult to my girlish figure!

[That or she'll be eating leftover grilled cheese for a week.]

[He blinks, before eyeing her girlish figure. Nothing all wrong with it to him!]

Weren't meaning for it to be carryin' no insult here, your figure up and fuckin' looks as fine as always.

[He just made this much cause this is generally the portion size he devours.]

But shit, if you want a bro to be tuckin' in with, I'm down all with that.

[Fine, or "Fine"? Should it matter? Probably not.

She sighs, reaching out to grab his wrist in order to drag him toward the kitchen.]

Let's see if I can make room for a clown, then!

[If he wasn't a taken troll, and she wasn't Karkat's ex, he wouldn't all be opposed to honking them titties, is what I'm saying.

He lets himself be led easily.]

Always some room for a mirthmaker.

Maybe to some!

[Hm. Wait, no. Something is off.

Terezi stops, gives a little tug on Gamzee's abnormally warm wrist.]

...You aren't sick, are you?

Illin'?

[No, he certainly doesn't feel ill. The last time he was ill he was all scratchy and disgusting, and none of those feelings are any so what present.]

No? What got you thinkin' like that?

Your body temperature is quite a bit higher than usual.

[She scrunches her nose up, then suddenly her face breaks into a wide grin.]

Aha! I know! Someone else has had their blood swapped out for another color, haven't they?

[Normally he would've told her quite happily. In fact, he wants to tell her quite happily! Cause having this blood is amazing.

But he can't help the way Karkat's words rise up 'lie if you have to'. It's not the words so much though that guide his next actions, as the look Karkat had given him when telling him so, that half desperate terrified look. Even if he ain't real down with lying, that look is enough for him. This moirallegience is a two-sided thing, after all.]

No! I mean, haha, yeah, you all caught me club in motherfuckin' prong. Got me some maroon miracles all swilling in these fuckin' veins here. Yeah.

[Is that... is that a good lie? He hopes it is. If anything though, he sure isn't really meeting her eyes, instead sort of looking everywhere but them.

(can she smell that?)]

[She doesn't really need to smell anything. That is certainly not a solid and typical mellow Gamzee answer. That's a nervous sort of answer. And that means she's caught him on something!]

Maroon? You don't say!

[She tugs him a little closer.]

Mind if I take a good sniff? Does it feel very different?

Uuuhhhh.

[He's leaning his head back a bit, trying to find an answer in his brain. But there is none. Because Gamzee is the world's shittiest liar, especially when put on the spot by the one troll who can literally sniff out untruths. Sure Karkat had told him to just lie, but he hadn't exactly given him a good number of lies to go with it.

He's basically up excrement river without a paddling device.]

Very... fuck. Maroon-y, you know, haha.

I'm afraid I've never had maroon blood, so I wouldn't know!

But how odd is that? It seems rather strange that you'd be given that color. What would be the point? Maybe there isn't one!

[That grin just won't get any smaller.]

Here, go ahead and sit down. We can discuss it over sandwiches.

[He will more than happily sit. Maybe he can distract her over sandwiches.]

Wouldn't all got a motherfuckin' clue on that. Maybe they just all thought it did up and suit a motherfucker. Best not to be layin' question at this miracle occurrences.

Maybe that's all it is!

[Here, let's have us some plates. All civilized trolls use them.]

If you had to pick another color to have been given, though, what would it be?

[And as we all know, Gamzee is clearly the most civilized of all trolls.]

Awww, that ain't all a real fair sort of thing to be askin' a motherfucker, like, how can I be fuckin' choosin' on this, you know? All up and got their own motherfuckin' miracles dealt in with it.

[He makes a thoughtful noise. Is sort of sounds like a hmmm-ed honk.]

Maybe... maybe a lil' higher than what hue a motherfucker usually got flowin' at his pump. Get some of those wicked fin miracles all up on this husk. I'd dig that.

Fins? Really?

[Terezi snorts.]

Gamzee, can you even swim?

Sure motherfuckin' can.

[Not like... gracefully. It's mostly a really clumsy ~~dog~~ clown paddle, but it gets him where he needs to go.]

Used to swim the fuck out when the Ol' Goat was coming up in! Haha, got him salty like no motherfucker's business, but he usually chilled down real fuckin' fast like again.

[He leans his elbows on the table, and then, cause he doesn't have much of a filter.]

Used to be like, when I was a motherfucker much shorter, that I went on thinkin' like, if a motherfucker got to havin' fins, I could fuckin' swim with the Goat forever. That would've been the bitchtits.

[Well that's something. She'd almost figured the clown just sort of sat on the beach all day eating pie. Didn't know if he actually went in the water. Could get dangerous in there.

That was also sort of a sad thing for him to say, but Terezi was devoid of her own guardian for the most part and had never really had much sympathy for Gamzee's similar plight. Feeling sympathy for Gamzee in general is still a strange thing right now, so she tries not to think about it too much.

He's also not playing along properly.]

Yes, I'm sure that would have been nice.

[Then she sighs as though put upon.]

[There was indeed a lot of sitting on beaches, eating pie. In fact, he only went in the water for real if his lusus was there.

He notices her sigh though, his brows climbing.]

Something what's wrong?

[A pause.]

You ain't diggin' what hue you got yourself motherfuckin' set down with now?

Well no, but that's beside the point.

[She crosses her arms over her chest.]

I just can't shake the feeling that you might be lying to me, Gamzee! But surely you wouldn't.

Uuh.

[NO. Don't put him in this situation. What are those stabbing sensations? It might guil-- NO IT IS TOTALLY HUNGER AND HE WILL JUST EAT A SANDWICH.

Awkwardly. While not meeting her eyes.]

Haha, yeah. Definitely...

That doesn't seem like a DEFINITELY to me, Gamzee!

[She slaps both hands down on top of the table, leaning over the sandwich mountain.]

That sounds very much like a NOT definitely!

[Oh fuck.]

Haha, uh, you look kinda... fuckin' hungry, sister. Maybe you should all like bite down.

[Here. See. He will hold up a sandwich of +5 distraction in front of her nose.]

[Unwise decision, Gamzee!

The indigo blood currently flowing through Terezi's veins makes this decision a little easier than it should be. She bites down, alright. Just not into the sandwich.

Sharp teeth go chomping right for the other troll's hand.]

[Gamzee gives a grunt in pain when her sharp teeth slice into his skin, quickly bringing beads of pure red to the surface.

And then, as an equally quick decision to try and ward off the discovery of his new, shiny red blood, he stuffs his bitten fingers in his mouth. The look he gives her is almost betrayed. A little. Mostly it is just stupid cause he is sitting there with most of his paw stuffed in his food hole.]

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