4th pulse [Voice]

[heartstoppingly]

[For a long while there's nothing but silence on the other end of this voice feed. Then Rolo whispers softly...]

... he's gone...

What... am I supposed to do without him?

[For he is now completely lost without his older brother. He does want to be free but for one who's obeyed orders all his life... Free will is rather frightening now that he has it.]

You said my future was with you but now you're gone, what am I to do? ... nii-san...

Comments

video;

[keepsthefire]

[Oh man, is this familiar... Yukio is back now, but Rin knows exactly how Rolo feels at this moment.]

I'm sorry... d'you... want some company or somethin'?

video;

[heartstoppingly]

I... I suppose so...

[He doesn't really know how to deal with this. This is the first time he's ever grown close to someone and had that person taken away from him.]

video;

[keepsthefire]

'kay...

[He can't really think of anything to say, because his reaction wasn't much better (minus the 'lack of purpose' thing) so he's hoping emotional support in the form of just being there will do... something.]

Where are you?

video;

[heartstoppingly]

I... I am at Larmline Apartments, 5th floor, room 1.

video;

[keepsthefire]

I'll be there soon, okay?

video;

[heartstoppingly]

Okay...

... I will wait here.

video; > action?

[keepsthefire]

[Rin nods and hangs up, heading out the door as fast as he can.

Soon enough, there's a knocking at the door.]

action

[heartstoppingly]

[he opens it a while later and let him in

he's not really sure what he's supposed to do though...]

action

[keepsthefire]

[Rin doesn't really know either. He just knows that when he was in that situation, as upset and distant at he was he really didn't want to be alone, either.

But he doesn't think giving Rolo a hug is alright, since they don't know each other all that well, but he does at least go for a comforting hand on the shoulder.]

I'unno how much it's gonna help but... I'll stick around as long as you want me to, okay?

action

[heartstoppingly]

[Rolo looks up a bit at that. He kind of wants to cry but somehow the tears won't come. It's almost as if he doesn't know how to cry.

He nods then is silent for a long while...]

... is it... alright to cry...?

action

[keepsthefire]

I... think it is, yeah...

[Rin didn't cry when Yukio left, sure, but he certainly can't fault Rolo for feeling that awful about his own brother leaving.]

[nomorerunning]

I'm sorry for your loss.

Losing a loved one can be... particularly difficult.

[He's only assuming this involves death.]

[heartstoppingly]

What do I do now? This has never happened before... I don't know what to do.

[He's never had someone he was close to taken away from him before.]

[nomorerunning]

You do the best anyone can do. Keep him in your heart and keep on going.

Think of what he'd want you to do in his absence.

[Better than Roland himself had done, in other words.]

[heartstoppingly]

Keep going...? But I don't know what he'd want me to do in his absence... He's always told me what to do.

[nomorerunning]

You are still your own person, capable of making your own decisions. If nothing else, do you think he would want you to be yourself?

[heartstoppingly]

I... I do not know. He's never told me that. And I... do not know what is my true self.

[nomorerunning]

Had he been with you since the day you were born?

[heartstoppingly]

No. I had no one. Then he adopted me.

[nomorerunning]

You were completely alone?

[heartstoppingly]

There was the Order but... all they did was use me. They did not care about me.

[nomorerunning]

What did you do while with them?

[heartstoppingly]

I followed their orders and killed the people I was ordered to.

[nomorerunning]

...I see.

And how did you feel about doing that?

[howamanlives]

... what do you mean, "what do you do?"

You pick yourself back up! You're your own reason for moving forward!

[heartstoppingly]

My... own reason? But... what reason do I have? Nii-san gave me a reason to live... Now he's not here anymore.

[VOICE]

[redcinemareel]

I'd advise you to get over yourself and start being your own person.

[He'll find no pity here.]

[VOICE]

[heartstoppingly]

Get over myself and start being my own person...?

How do I do that?

[Because he seriously doesn't have the faintest idea.]

[redcinemareel]

[He can't be serious...

There is a pause because wow, who is this kid?]

Don't you have aspirations? Goals?

[Another pause]

Of your own, of course.

[heartstoppingly]

[Someone who's been someone else's tool all his life...]

Aspirations...? Goals... of my own?

[Shakes head]

No, I don't have any of those.

[redcinemareel]

[Now instead of making his life awful due to being a spineless human being, she feels pity. A rare thing.]

Oh, darling, such a tragic life you have! Adrift in the tides of time with little direction. You know, the best way to find your path is in a good book!

[heartstoppingly]

[But that was the way he was raised and taught to believe all his life...

He's just going to look up in surprise.]

A good book...?

[Is it really so easy?]

[redcinemareel]

Yes. The best way to find what you may or may not like is to arm yourself with knowledge! You don't intend to walk around aimlessly without a mind of your own, do you?

[heartstoppingly]

With knowledge...

I... I've never really been allowed to think for myself...

What kind of books should I read then?

[redcinemareel]

Fantasy books are a wonderful start! Shall we convene at a library?

[heartstoppingly]

Fantasy...? But how would they help with real life...?

... okay.

[redcinemareel]

You'll see~!

Be there in ten minutes, okay?! Do you have a name, cutie?