001 [Brief video+Text]

[ohshellno]

[So, it's probably not a huge surprise that Meenah is not happy to be here at all. She was just about to show spidertits how they smack down in Beforus...which...isn't a very good example of how kickass she is. Now she's here? Needless to say, she's pretty damn riled up.

However! The freebie starfish is a bonus and she seems quite content to try it out by pressing every single button she can find. Thanks to that, there will be a very brief flash of her face quite close to the screen as she tries to figure out all of the functions. Those glasses look familiar, don't they? Eventually, the feed cuts and she discovers the text function

The guide, of course, is disregarded for the moment.]

dam
this dreambubble is sweet as fuck
what kind of LOS-ER hands out free shit for bein dead
anemoneway
im meant to be fishin for recruits
a gill cant waste her time gawkin at coral and glubbin like a serket
any a you suckas wanna join a ghost army
ill make it wharf your whale
eventunally

Comments

[bethehugejerk]

GOD DAMNIT.
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO PREDICTABLY TERRIBLE BY COMING IN HERE TO DEFEND HER WHEN I WASN'T EVEN ADDRESSING YOU???
YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL I FOUND SOMEONE WHOSE PUNS I CAN COMPLAIN ABOUT MORE THAN YOURS, BUT NO, THE INTELLIGENT ROUTE IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO TAKE.
I AM NOT EVEN SURPRISED.

[terribubbly]

No, you're just so obviously retarded.
I can't )(elp myself w)(en I see someone being as stupid as you.
You're drowning in a sea of your own uncultured ignorance rig)(t now, and it's just so embarbassing.

[bethehugejerk]

IF FISH PUNS ARE PART OF YOUR CULTURE I DO NOT GIVE SO MUCH AS ONE FRAGRANT FART ABOUT IT.
ERIDAN GETS BY WITHOUT JAMMING PUNS WHERE THEY DON'T BELONG
AS IN ANYWHERE AT ALL
SO WHY IS IT THAT YOU HAVE TO BOTH USE THEM TO EXCESS AND DEFEND THEM IN THEIR EVERY PRESENCE.
WE ARE IN A GIANT UNDERSEA BUBBLE, FEFERI.
THERE ARE MORE OCEANIC JOKES HERE THAN ANY ONE OF US KNOWS WHAT TO DO WITH.
YOU WOULD THINK THIS WOULD BE YOUR CLUE TO BACK OFF AND LESSEN THEIR USE BECAUSE THIS PLACE HAS YOU COVERED, BUT NO.
THE ONLY ONE SERVING AS EMBARRASSMENT RIGHT NOW IS YOU.

[terribubbly]

If you conch handle the fishpuns, stay out of the bubble. 38P

[ So mature and eloquent.

Especially that mature part. ]

[ohshellno]

you just got burnt nubs

[bethehugejerk]

WHAT
NO I DIDN'T.
I DID NOT GET BURNED.
THAT IS THE SHITTIEST ATTEMPT AT A BURN I HAVE EVER SEEN.
I GET BURNT WORSE ON HOT PIZZA THAN I DO WITH WHAT SHE JUST SAID.

[ohshellno]

you so did

heh
i guess my ancestor aint so bad
whoda thought

[bethehugejerk]

GOD NO.
NO SHE ISN'T.
SHE IS AIRHEADED AND A PAIN IN THE ASS AND GOES OUT OF HER WAY TO ANTAGONIZE ME WITH STUPID INSULTS THAT DON'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.
I COULD COME UP WITH BETTER BURNS THAN WHAT SHE DID IN MY SLEEP, IF I EVEN BOTHERED WITH SLEEPING.

[ohshellno]

shore shore
go get some ice for the burn nubs

[bethehugejerk]

BUT IT'S NOT A FUCKING BURN!
CAN YOU NOT DRIVE THAT THROUGH YOUR SKULL OR IS IT TOO FULL OF SEA SALT AND FISH SCALES TO COMPREHEND A BASIC STATEMENT OF FACT.

[ohshellno]

youre mad tho nubs
that means it worked 38D

[bethehugejerk]

EAT A BULGE, MEENAH.

[Dramatic angry click!!!!]

[bethehugejerk]

I HAVE LIVED HERE LONGER THAN YOU'VE EVEN KNOWN ABOUT THIS PLACE, INCLUDING THE PREVIOUS TIMES YOU SHOWED UP.
I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE, AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.

[terribubbly]

)(e)(e)(e)(e, you're so easy to bait.
38P

[ What? Meenah called her cool, she has to end this on a note that's a little more mature than usual. See? See how above it all she is? Aw yeah. That's right. ]