caughtinanetwork

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[For those familiar with Dirk, they might notice something unusual about him today- for all that he usually wears shirts decorated with hats, he hasn't ever been a fan of wearing them. Until now, apparently, considering he's wearing one right now. It goes a long way toward making him look like Bro Strider, which is impressive, since they already look like clones.

It doesn't seem like he's about to talk about that, though.]

I have to say, I'm impressed by the amount of whining we've gotten for a simple curse like this. Jesus shit, it's a minor one, calm your tits and deal.

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[He is NOT showing his finless face on the network, thanks.]

Minor for who exactly? This curse may not be some fantastical piece a garbage, like turnin' us into other species and the like. But, for me, it's a strike to the fuckin' ego, and that's downright unexceptable!

[HUFF!]

So what the fuck did it do to you? Obviously not somethin' too heinous, seein' as you think this curse ain't no big deal an' all.

I wouldn't consider it "minor" in some cases.

[Sup, dude, Davesprite is now human. The only difference between him and Dave is that his hair has a bit of an orange tint to it. ~~Eye color, too, but who's going to fucking see that I mean seriously.~~]

[Rainbow Dash just looks...utterly miserable. And very much without her wings.]

I can't fly. That's a pretty major concern, Dirk.

[Look Dirk, he can type colors!]

but not being able to talk is really hard

[Deadpan.]

Oh no. Your ego. As if it couldn't use some deflating already.

[He shrugs and taps the brim of his hat.]

What's it look like?

[~~As if he'd let an absolute stranger see anything behind his shades, right?~~]

Still nothing to pitch a fit over. You enjoying those legs, bro?

Fuck off you piece a shit.

[He is always so friendly. But he stares at the video for a moment, which is hinted at with that pause...]

It's a ugly fuckin' hat, what's it matter?

[Yeah, Eridan just doesn't care enough to remember that Dirk doesn't normally wear hats, and even then he definitely wouldn't pick up that there's something amiss with Dirk wearing one.]

[~~Exactly.~~ Davesprite pauses a moment. He's...pretty sure this is the first time they've met.]

And you know I didn't have legs in the first place because...?

Welcome to living like all the rest of us. If you're that mad just find someone to give you rides for the week. Or two, however long this one lasts.

[Rainbow Dash being miserable would usually be enough to get sympathy out of Dirk, even if he tried to keep cool about it. But not this time.]

[what even

Her ears flatten.]

Dude, it's like if you suddenly woke up and poof! Your legs are gone! I'm worse than clipped! My life is flying.

Then enjoy all the typing practice you're getting.

Make me.

[They are just the friendliest pair.]

It matters that I'm wearing one. Or not, since you obviously don't give a shit.

Because you trail your dayglo orange tail around everywhere. How the hell could I miss it? What'd you do, get hit on the head?

Statistically untrue. Your life is also comprised of things like sleeping, eating, and dying people's hair blue.

[Ugh, Dirk again. He couldn't possibly care less what he thinks of the latest curse -- to be fair, Kid hasn't thought much on it, too preoccupied with certain things, like for once, his father answering his calls, and his friends finding certain reasons for personal distress -- it's just his very appearance causes him the sort of aggravation that warrants a response.]

And yet you saw fit to waste time, yours and ours, on the matter--

[Wait.]

[Something's different.

Naturally, a detail-oriented (more like obsessed) individual like Death the Kid would pick up on it immediately. Dirk's hair, never ceasing to be a source of irritation with its 'artfully yet asymmetrically windswept' appearance, was presently hidden by the appealingly regular shape of a hat.]

No, but I'm pretty sure I don't even know who the hell you are, so forgive me.

[Davesprite's not exactly sure whether to be suspicious or perturbed by this.]

[...Oh no.

That moment when the rival you want to simultaneously drive to greater heights of development as well as smash his face into the nearest curb looks distressingly attractive in accordance to certain tastes of aesthetics.]

...

[It's not often that Kid flusters.]

Take that ridiculous thing off this very instant.

But out of everything, the thing I do the most, the most joy I get, is through flying! It's like declawing a cat! This is a pretty important part of my body that's missing, here!

[Her distress, frustration, and generally being upset over the loss is actually causing some random flower pots outside to start flying all over the place. She has to duck to avoid one.]

Stupid telekinesis....

Sure. Your irony levels are off the charts there, Brosprite.

[Probably both.]

What ridiculous thing?

[Kid should probably be worried about the look on his face.]

You're gonna have to be more specific there. Or do you just want me to take it all off?

[Troll in the dungeon. Troll in the dungeon.]

[Now he looks suspicious.]

No, I'm pretty fucking serious right now. Who. The hell. Are you?

[Dirk just eyes the flowerpots, with no reaction to the near-miss.]

If you miss it that much, then use that telekinesis. Or are you too bad at that to lift yourself into the air?

I'm pretty sure its severity is all over the place. Let people complain if they have to.

Glad to hear you got the mild end of it though, I guess.

[Wow. Okay, he's serious. Well, that's interesting.]

Dirk. Should I say Strider, or will you give me shit for that, too?

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