caughtinanetwork | [video] in before eeveelution jokes

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[video] in before eeveelution jokes

[It's late. Or too damn early. Somewhere in that ambiguous area, like 3:00 in the morning, just fine for certain parts of the alien population and a god-awful time for the rest. But here Kid is, addressing the network from the confines of a room in the island-side village.

One can just make out a few figures (Maka Albarn and Rin Okumura) behind him, sound asleep in their bed.]

I have a very important announcement to make, one that simply cannot wait until morning!

[The grim reaper, looking more lively than he has since... well, since the bubble cracked, stoops out of sight of the SFC, and reappears with an Umbreon in his arms. Beaming with the pride perhaps only a father might have for their child, he declares:]

This is Pip, and he's become even more beautiful than ever!

[It is indeed Pip, recently evolved, and he is still fat. He is also a she, but Kid never investigated that closely. Promptly forgetting about the SFC in his eagerness, Kid retreats with Pip in his arms to bend over Maka.]

Maka, Maka! Wake up! I don't want you to miss this!

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They exist in my world too, and we don't have your father's city there.

[They're just those weird creepy kids who are depressed all the time in his world.]

And I never went through that phase. I'm a teacher, and teachers do research into the trends their students follow.

[The best teachers found ways to relate with their students, so this makes sense.]

A shame. If he had, I imagine things would have been remarkably different.

[Kid, your dad doesn't magically make everything better, jsyk.]

So I gathered. Marie and I discussed it once.

[Yeahhhhhh he doesn't like the idea of a God being right there to talk with and see everything that goes on.]

Oh? I'm interested in hearing about her take on the matter.

[It's not really everyday that you get a teacher's opinion, as supplied to another peer; even if he's Lord Death's son, teachers still have a way of treating him like a child.

Okay, so he is a kid, but gosh he sure tries to be a perfect reaper!!!]

[He'll spare Kid his own opinion of Death (unless asked), since it's not a positive one, but he'll tell Kid what Marie said.]

She made him sound like a pretty decent guy. She didn't have anything bad to say about him, at least.

My father?

Of course she didn't. Lord Death is a benevolent ruler and a wise headmaster.

[And he also locked his firstborn up in a bag of his own skin for centuries. Yet here he is, speaking with open adoration of the penultimate grim reaper.]

That's what she said about him too.

[Yeah no, Shiro is too much of a rebel to like having a god right there in the flesh.]

[He's a just god, who oversees the balance of good and evil itself in his world of Order. The subject of fear and respect, there are even factions that worship him in religious ritual, and his -- after a fashion -- are very large shoes to fill.

Kid isn't worthy to fill them, yet. There are many times when he wonders if he's even worth being his son at all, but he hasn't had one of those fits in a while!]

And what about you? You've never met, I understand, but you won't mind indulging my curiosity, would you?

[Yeah no Shiro is not okay with that at all. He'll scratch at the back of his head as he thinks up the least offensive answer he can give.]

Well, you gotta remember, your world and mine are very different, and I'm used to how things are in my world. And in my world, all of the all-powerful deities are pretty much in a competition of 'let's see who can ruin the lives of the most humans.' Coming from my world, it's hard to trust anyone who claims to be a God. Once bitten, twice shy, that kind of thing.

My honorable father is the only god of the world we come from, and he would never ruin the lives of humans--that is, not unless they had become souls too corrupted to suffer to live.

[But he thinks about that, about once bitten and twice shy, and about what makes him uncomfortable about being too confined, about the real reason he feels his jaw clench about Dirk Strider's dumb hat, even though it's irrational (like his desperate obsession with symmetry). About how it's not exactly what Shiro means but perhaps close enough that he can understand it. A little.]

I see. I suppose it would be difficult to change your mind with a single example.

If I-- No, when I become a true reaper, I will show you a god of death that cherishes the lives of humans.

[Oh geez he knew Kid would take this personally somehow. He should have kept his fat mouth shut.]

Look, Kid, it's not meant as any offense to you or your dad. I'm sure he's a great guy, and you're a pretty good person yourself. And besides that, it's not the whole 'cherishing the lives of humans' thing that bothers me about Gods anyway.

[He takes his role in life very seriously.

Even more now that he knows he has a brother, of who and what he is.]

What bothers you about gods?

[What was that about keeping his mouth shut?]

Oh no, we're not getting into this discussion.

[NOPE shutting it down now. It was already problematic enough when he tried to explain it to Marie.]

Why not? You're the one who mentioned it in the first place. To fail to elaborate when I ask isn't fair!

[Can't stop, won't stop.]

Because no matter how I explain it, you'll get offended. So I'm not going to.

[Still denied, Kid.]

And why would I be offended, if you're not even talking about me or my father?

[Kid is relentless, okay.]

I'm not sure, but I can still imagine the conversation ending with yelling.

Edited (I accidentally a word) 2013-05-12 02:14 (UTC)

...You presume to think I can't handle your honest opinion.

[Now he is offended.]

That, or you'll do something stupid to prove that you're not like the gods I know.

[Whoops. Offending people seems to be a skill of his.]

[Ever since the last time he did something stupid to prove he's not like the Kishin he knows, he hasn't been capable of much at all.

The crease between Kid's eyebrows deepens. He's actually hurt, but the sting sits right up against the guilt of knowing he had ruined everything with a foolish dream that he might be able to help everyone and prove himself worthy in the process.

And who knows about his screw-up better than one of those who had personally assisted him? He let him and everyone else down. How could he expect Shiro to confide in him?]

Of course. I've failed everyone and I've disappointed you in the past. It's foolish to think I deserve to know.

[LOLNOPE

Sorry Kid, Shiro does not put up with pity parties. He's actually even more disappointed in Kid now, out of everyone else here he had expected Kid to at least be able to pick himself up off the ground and keep going despite past failures.]

If you keep going on like that, I'm going to come find you and knock some sense into you. I'm not disappointed in you.

[Is it actually a pity party when he doesn't pity himself, doesn't want pity and actually believes he's rubbish? Gosh, Shiro, it's like you never dealt with a neurotic death god before.

That's why there's no relief when he says that, just a sort of befuddled impatience, as if Shiro had just contradicted some irrevocable law of reality because it was inconvenient.]

...What?

People mess up. People make mistakes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with making a mistake, as long as you learn something from it. Why would you think I'd be disappointed in you for that?

[Go ahead and be befuddled, Kid. You might actually get an answer from him if this conversation continues like this.]

Because!

[It's a startled pair of syllables, punctuated by an equal number of confused blinks. He glances around himself and, finding nothing there to help him understand this seeming ignorance of what strikes him as inevitable, he continues:]

A reaper must be perfect! As a future guardian of order, governing and maintaining the balance between good and evil throughout the lives and deaths of all beings within his domain, he must be without fault, his plans and actions foolproof, flawless, and precise!

Who wouldn't be disappointed in a god that screwed everything up?

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