caughtinanetwork | [video] in before eeveelution jokes

[It's late. Or too damn early. Somewhere in that ambiguous area, like 3:00 in the morning, just fine for certain parts of the alien population and a god-awful time for the rest. But here Kid is, addressing the network from the confines of a room in the island-side village.

One can just make out a few figures (Maka Albarn and Rin Okumura) behind him, sound asleep in their bed.]

I have a very important announcement to make, one that simply cannot wait until morning!

[The grim reaper, looking more lively than he has since... well, since the bubble cracked, stoops out of sight of the SFC, and reappears with an Umbreon in his arms. Beaming with the pride perhaps only a father might have for their child, he declares:]

This is Pip, and he's become even more beautiful than ever!

[It is indeed Pip, recently evolved, and he is still fat. He is also a she, but Kid never investigated that closely. Promptly forgetting about the SFC in his eagerness, Kid retreats with Pip in his arms to bend over Maka.]

Maka, Maka! Wake up! I don't want you to miss this!

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Candy? I'm so glad to hear it isn't just me.

[He's seen cotton candy melt into that exact shade before. And it was sticky and got everywhere it was horrible.]

Isn't Eridan...?

[Karkat's boyfriend, yeah.] He's a Prince of Hope? How dismal.

I'm guessing then you've already learned that the Prince's gimmick is bringing destruction to their aspect.

Yeah. It is pretty dismal. I don't know what sort of effect he had on his session, though, so I can't judge on that.

[A beat as she looks over the feed again.]

I think this Prince Gumball is harmless, though. I mean, he asked if Pip was fuzzy, how much more harmless can you get?

How does noting Pip's prolific fur indicate a lack of malice, exactly?

[Because if this is a true measure of a lack of villainy, he will use Pip as his litmus test of morality for as long as his soul perception is out of service.]

...Because...most bad guys wouldn't openly admit to liking cute things like that.

[ARE YA STUPID?]

[Wow, he had no idea a failure to enjoy (or admit to enjoying) things most consider cute or adorable was a mark of villainous intent.]

I see. [Incredible.] Is this universally consistent?

...Are you telling me you cannot actually tell if someone is a bad person or not?

[THAT'S...REALLY WORRYING...]

Not at all! Besides, 'bad' and 'good' are subjective much of the time. Malice is not absent in any sentient being, therefore it depends on the balance of factors like malice and benevolence in a person that makes them 'good' or 'bad' to others.

But determining this without an intimate knowledge of the balance of these factors in a person is intriguing. That there are specific traits that indicate someone is a bad person, such as the inability to admit they like something cute is a novel idea.

...Okay, how about this--I will be your "seeing eye dog" for bad guys. I don't have your soul detection stuff but [she's not naive as hell despite growing up without other people around] I have very good prediction abilities.

Sooo I am saying it right here and now, officially, from the desk of Jade Harley: Gumball is not a bad guy. I'd call him nice, even.

[video] in before eeveelution jokes

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