caughtinanetwork | [video] in before eeveelution jokes

[It's late. Or too damn early. Somewhere in that ambiguous area, like 3:00 in the morning, just fine for certain parts of the alien population and a god-awful time for the rest. But here Kid is, addressing the network from the confines of a room in the island-side village.

One can just make out a few figures (Maka Albarn and Rin Okumura) behind him, sound asleep in their bed.]

I have a very important announcement to make, one that simply cannot wait until morning!

[The grim reaper, looking more lively than he has since... well, since the bubble cracked, stoops out of sight of the SFC, and reappears with an Umbreon in his arms. Beaming with the pride perhaps only a father might have for their child, he declares:]

This is Pip, and he's become even more beautiful than ever!

[It is indeed Pip, recently evolved, and he is still fat. He is also a she, but Kid never investigated that closely. Promptly forgetting about the SFC in his eagerness, Kid retreats with Pip in his arms to bend over Maka.]

Maka, Maka! Wake up! I don't want you to miss this!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ He said it looked like a TOY crown and it is clearly a majestic magical jewel encased in 24 karat rock candy.

Though he's not angry or sad about it anymore. ]

I suppose it is rather small. But then it sit nicely atop my head rather than crushing my hair down.

[But it does look like a toy crown!]

Don't you ever lose it?

[He means the crown. Because really. Something that small is bound to get knocked right off and end up underneath the sofa. You would not believe where Kid has located his pocketwatch.]

[ It pretty much is one. ]

Of course not! It is far too important to lose! Its magical properties protect me from mind control and, if it fell into the wrong hands, it could summon forth the destruction of multiple worlds!

[ OMINOUS LOOK!!!!!!

Slight pause and then he brightens up with a Trident smile. ]

Plus, my bubblegum hair helps the crown stay up there pretty nicely.

[record scratch]

Your hair is literally bubblegum?

[Wait how is that possible. Is that a wig? Why would you want to wear a bubblegum wig?

And what flavor is pink?!]

[ Prince Gumball is going to have to start lying to people about being a prince and being a candy person because this club can't handle him right now.

And pink is ~original~ flavor, obviously. What else would a prince be?

He pulls off a small piece of his hair and stretches it around like it's no big thing before returning it back into place nicely. ]

Most of my subjects are candy people in the Candy Kingdom, including myself. So yes, my hair is bubblegum.

[ Looks closer at the screen. ]

Yours kind of resembles a licorice candycane!

[Oh sweet symmetry, he is literally candy.

Help, this is by far more surreal than any other species he has encountered before.]

I assure you, these damnable stripes are nothing worth mentioning.

[They certainly aren't sugary.]

Your kind is certainly the most unique I've encountered in Vatheon. I apologize if my surprise has given you cause for concern.

[ You'd think with all the gods and ponies and even a talking coyote, people would see a candy person and smile while saying hello. ]

I think they're charming and suit you quite well. They match your outfit, at the very least.

No concern here, I'm beginning to suspect that candy people may not be in high population in this area and I'm beginning to get used to people's surprise.

[But Gumball, you eat candy. You don't eat talking ponies and coyotes. Most people would get a little stressed out if their steak dinner started introducing itself.]

That's intentional, but the lines are not.

[Flattery is... nice, but he's still sensitive about his hair.]

How do your people fare in inclement weather? I imagine getting caught in a rainstorm would be catastrophic.

[Puddles of colorful, sugary water everywhere, total carnage.]

[ Well, you wouldn't eat a steak that talked, obviously. But any other steak is fair game for consumption! ]

The lines are natural? [ That's just unnatural. ]

I'm not a fan of wet weather and tend to stay inside. We have umbrellas for that kind of thing. And rainboots too! You have those, right? Some candy people don't fare well in wetter weather but they're advised to stay inside, obviously. Things can get a little sticky otherwise.

[ Said as more of a joke than anything else. ]