caughtinanetwork | [ VIDEO ]

[ Well, if you didn't want to see a close-up of Prince Gumball's ~~pink~~ orchid face for the opening of this video then today is not your lucky day. After exploring the extent of his little ~~pink~~ amaranth iStarfish, figuring out its purpose, trying to get it to play techno music and dying in the first level of a game he found on it, he decided to use it to communicate.

However, he pressed record too quickly and started the video prematurely. After a moment, he pulled it away so the network can be greeted with a more normal shot.

Generally, when Gumball finds himself kidnapped or in another dimension or possessed, Fionna is efficient and heroic enough to save him within a reasonable timeframe. This time, it's been a while so he decides to take matters into his own hands to see what the hold-up is.

He is also feeling a little extra impatient given how...wet the current location is and how his ~~pink~~ salmon rainboots are nowhere in sight. ]

Greetings, citizens of Vatheon! My name is Prince Gumball of the Candy Kingdom. Though my stay thus far has been nice-- [ and he thinks that's being kind ]-- I worry about my subjects back home and their low tolerance for stress. If you could be so kind as to direct me to your nearest ship port or best place to create a wormhole back home, I would be delightfully grateful. Ideally, I'd like to return on the morrow but if one is not available, my previous requests are sufficient.

[ He holds up a wet and sandy towel between his pinched fingers. ]

Also, is there a towel butler around? I'd like to receive a new towel at your soonest convenience, I dropped mine.

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[Don't make him come over and purposely stroke your hair all tender like and shit. You know he will. Possibly even pat a cheek.]

Yeah? What flavour?

[And another minute later, a kicked-over chair has joined the carnage.]

How in the name of the Mother Grub's rotting seedflap should I know?! Go ask that Percy kid, he's the weirdo who wants to taste him.

[That does not sound weird to Gamzee at all. How can you find out about candy people and not kinda want to taste them a little? Perhaps it is you who is the weirdo here, Karkat.]

Just makes a bro get his motherfuckin' wonder on at it all, you know? Gets all his curiosity working at the fact like... what would you fuckin' taste like if you were all made of motherfuckin' bubblegum? Have you ever got to thinkin' on that my brother? Like woah.

[Spoiler: Gamzee is Faygo flavoured. All of the Faygo flavours. It is him.]

No. Never ask me that question. Never even speak to me about bubblegum again, for at least this whole week.

[He's still irritable, and there's a lamp in the corner that's looking pretty overturnable right now.]

Aight, sure, bro.

[Give him half an hour before he'll be babbling at Karkat about the best gumball flavours for all their friends. Where is Terezi when you need her?]

You maybe gonna chill a lil' now, best friend? You lookin' all tense like you're being fit to motherfuckin' lose the entirety of your fuckin' cool at a motherfucker. Even got your ganderbulb coverflaps up and doing the motherfuckin' twitchy thing and shit.

[Karkat is cherry, of course. He will forever be cherry.]

[But, okay, Gamzee's doing the moirail thing again. Karkat's shoulders ease a bit, and he makes himself take a breath. He thought he could feel his eyelid doing the thing before.]

I just--

Candy people. It's bizarre, and it violates all common sense, and--

[... Sigh. He doesn't even need to look around to realize the state the room's in.]

Okay, okay, maybe I do need to calm down a little.

[Sour cherry. That is him.]

Just another motherfuckin' miracle what this world got on offer for us. Just, fuck, man, I can never cease to be stop getting amazed at all these beautiful miracles happening here.

[When you are wilfully ignorant to things like biology and common sense, candy people are really not any weirder than say humans. Or my little ponies.

But right. He was also being the moirail.]

But shit, maybe what a motherfucker does need here is to all be taking a lil' walk around. You know, pump your motherfuckin' lungsacks all fulled up with the freshest motherfuckin' air what a bro can find. Just let your hooves to the motherfuckin' walking for a little while and let your pan go all clear and still on you, man. It'll do good on you, best friend, that's what I think.

[Karkat breathes. The miracle babble is nothing new from Gamzee, as much as he fails to buy into it.]

A walk. Alright. I'll give it a shot and hopefully it will do the right thing for me.

[He stands again and goes over to right the chair he kicked over earlier. He can get the table later; it's not going to do anymore harm staying the way it is.]

I'll talk to you later, yeah?

[Lastly, he sets his SFC against the back of the chair so he can flash a makeshift diamond symbol with his hands.]

[Gamzee raises his hands, thumb to thumb, index finger to index finger, flashing a diamond right back at him.]

You do that. You all be knowing where to find me at if it don't all work at you, aight?

Yeah, I know.

[Lucky for Gamzee it's going to work just fine. Karkat turns off his SFC for the time being, then heads out for his walk.]

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